Both boys are busy. I won't get any all weekend!
When you've been five whole entire days without sex and you come to the crushing realization that it might be as much as a week until you get more, you don't have a lot of people to complain to.
Wasn't long ago at all that I went two years between. I'm not bragging because I'm a hottie who can get it whenever she wants, I'm bragging because suddenly, almost inexplicably, after really five years (since my last actual boyfriend) of loneliness and frustration, I'm having actual sexual relationships again. What the fuck happened in the middle?
What the fuck happened just now?
Between now and my death I don't want to have another year without sex. Really I don't want another day without it.
Well, I dunno, maybe the day my dad dies.
Why not try to pick someone up? Or go to that BDSM club?
ReplyDeleteI'm very shy, Bruno.
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to get laid every day, you're going to have to get over that, sweetie.
ReplyDeleteNo! You're not allowed to call me sweetie and I only sleep with guys I at least kind of know!
ReplyDeleteI think maybe my best plan would be to develop 14 boyfriends. A guy's gotta be available at least once every two weeks for sure, right? I mean at an absolute minimum.
It gets more complicated though when you do things that leave marks. "I... tripped and fell... and landed sort of on my ass and inner thighs... on this weird whip-shaped grating..."
That does leave the option of sleeping with strange women, though, deary.
ReplyDeleteHow have you handled Jon-marks when you're with Brandon?
Brandon knows (frequently truthfully) that I do crazy stupid stuff to myself, pumpkin.
ReplyDeleteI've had the same problem. No sympathy from friends. Not fair. I feel your pain....get a plane ticket to New York, I'll help you and you can help me.
ReplyDeleteI'm a daddy's girl, too...
ReplyDelete