Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I wouldn't fuck Roissy either.

Okay, I've been linked it a few times, so I'm going to take that stupid misogynistic Roissy test. I don't expect good things, because I'm fat, and like half the questions are "are you fat?" with enormous deductions resulting.

1. How old are you?
21 to 25 years old: +8 points

A good start, but note that I'm already on the downslope because I'm out of high school.

2. How important is makeup to your appearance?
It slightly enhances my looks: 0 points

I guess the concept is that if makeup makes you look a lot better, that's false advertisement. Huh. You'd think looking better is looking better, but Roissy, he is very particular.

3. What is your IQ? (This relates tangentially to your ability to connect emotionally with a man.)
Over 145: -1 point

Oh no, I'm just too smart, now the mens will never like me. (IQ isn't really a thing anyway. But every time mine's been tested it's like ridiculous.)

And yet I'm still dumber than LabRat. Man, she must be, like, useless to a man. I bet she never even gets dates.

4. Your breast size is:
B cup: 0 points

This question is so "what Roissy likes," with assumption that all men think exactly the same way. Actually, this test is, but anyway.

5. Your breasts look firm and pert when you wear:
Nothing: +1 point

Yeah, good luck doing that with D-cups. :p

6. How long are your legs in relation to your height?
Average: 0 points

I dunno, I'm short all over. But my legs aren't stubby or anything, I think they're just proportionally short. I mean, "the legs of the merchandise," sorry, this girl didn't mean to use personal pronouns there.

7. What is the shape of your ass?
Round and fleshy: +1 point

Roissy's supposed preferences are so socially normed it's ridiculous. I get the feeling that if he did like something that wasn't part of the 22YOBS stereotype he couldn't even admit it, because all guys like one objective standard dammit. It's evolution or something.

8. How flat is your stomach?
Flabby beer gut and fupa: -10 points

Ouch. I do have a belly. Or as we call it in the sex biz, a "dealbreaker with a belly button."

9. How toned are your upper arms?
Very toned, I can see my triceps: +1 point
If I hold my arm out, I can wobble the fat underneath my upper arm: -1 point

I have arm fat and triceps, I'm taking a zero. Wait, actually, as long as I'm making rules, I'm taking a +100, because really there's no reason to play by an asshole's rules at all.

10. How big are your hands?
Average size: 0 points

Wasn't there a "Friends" episode about this "Manhands" shit?

11. Where is there hair on your body?
I have to shave my legs daily and wax my bushy eyebrows: 0 points

My eyebrows are fine, but I'm pretty sure that just about every post-pubescent woman has leg hair. Anyway, if I shave it, how can you even know or care?

12. Get a tape ruler and measure around your waist and your hips. Divide your waist number by your hip number. This ratio is:
0.85 to 0.95: -1 point

36/42 = 0.86. Wait, that might be smartness again, me sorries, be pretty now.

13. What is your BMI?
(Go here to calculate your BMI. The scoring of female BMI varies somewhat from that of male BMI because aesthetics, not just general health, have to be taken into consideration.)
28.1 to 33.0: -10 points

Yes, because male bodies don't have aesthetics. That would be GAY. Anyway, once again I totally fail because I have the fats.

14. On a scale of 1 to 10, how pretty are you?
5: -1 point

This comes with a lot of blither about how you probably think you're pretty but you're wrong you stupid vain bitch, and two computer-generated evo-psych "average pretty and average ugly" photos, but fuck it, I'm just gonna go with a 5. I have the round face of the "ugly" picture but my features are otherwise intermediate.

Also, I can't help noticing that the "ugly" picture really isn't that bad, isn't nearly as ugly as ugly gets, and that she seems to be wearing much less makeup than the "pretty" picture.

15. How clear is your skin?
People are always telling you how silky smooth your skin looks: +1 point

Even douchebags have told me that at least I have nice skin! I'm all about courting the douchebag vote, as evidenced by this entire post.

16. Do you have any noticeable deformities?
No: 0 points

Phew, thank God I'm not one of those horrible unfuckable disabled people. Although it's worth noting that even if I were missing my entire face it still wouldn't be as much of a dealbreaker as having a belly.

17. How full are your lips?
Average: 0 points

Man, this guy thinks of things I never even consider. I don't think I'd devoted a single instant's thought to my lip thickness before now.

18. How high is your forehead?
Average: 0 points

And again. I keep having to run to the mirror, because fuck, I never even questioned if I had a disfiguringly inadequate forehead before.

19. How long is your jawline from ear to chin?
Short: +1 point

"Dude, you went out with Sandra? That chick has such a long jawline! Ewwwww!"

21. How big is your nose?
Small: +1 point

And I'm Jewish even. What luck.

22. In proportion to the size of your face, are your eyes:
Small and beady: -1 point

They're not "beady," jerkface, but I do have kinda small and almond-shaped eyes.

23. Is the distance between your eyes:
Average: 0 points

I seriously don't even know or care about my eye-distance beauty factor at all. They seem normal to me I guess.

24. You frequently wear sexy lingerie, even when not prepping for a hot date.
Yes: +1 point

Why the hell does he care what I wear when he won't be seeing it? Control freaky creep.

25. When someone gets hurt you are the first to ask if they are OK and to deliver aid if needed.
Almost always: +1 point

This is the first one to actually be a good human quality, and yet it still somehow comes off as frothingly sexist.

26. You are highly competitive and often play co-ed team sports.
I like to exercise on nice days with one on one sports like tennis: +1 point

Competitive sports are a negative. Because a woman should be skinny and muscular, but she shouldn't actually play sports, it's important that it be purely decorative.

27. When a guy approaches you in a bar, regardless of your attraction for him, you:
Pretend like you don’t notice him coming: 0 points

Not exactly, but I'm not going to smile and go "hiiii mister pretty sexy man" to everyone who acknowledges my existence, no. That's not my job.

28. On a first date the check arrives for dinner and drinks. You:
Offer to split the check or even pay in full: +1 point

Partly because these assholes always think a $20 dinner tab entitles them to full ownership of your body.

29. You are about to have sex with a guy for the first time. He undresses and his penis is small. Do you:
Tell him how great his cock looks and feels?: +1 point


And yeah, I will say nice things about it, if they're true. I've had some rockin' good times with a guy who was swinging five inches, because it still looked and felt pretty good. But I'm not going to lie if it doesn't feel good.

Again, I'm not getting paid! I'm not providing customer service here! I have a personal preference for being optimistic and polite, but it's not my fucking job.

30. You think blowjobs are:
Great! You give them spontaneously and there’s never any doubt how much you enjoy it: +1 point

But this guy is making me seriously wonder if I shouldn't.

31. Do you do anal?
Yes, and it makes me come to know how much it pleases my man: +1 point

Although I don't do anal with any guy who asks if I "do anal," because it's not a goddamn service I provide. If you can't figure out how to semantically frame it as a mutual and value-neutral avenue of bodily exploration, you don't get butthole.

(Okay, or if you tell me that I'm a dirty little slut and sluts take it up the ass, don't they little girl. But that only happens after I trust that this kind of talk is secretly just another mutual and value-neutral exploration thing.)

32. The number of sex positions you have tried is:
3 to 10: 0 points

Real sex nerds don't really care about "positions" that much. Partly because real sex nerd sex can be pretty fluid and involve a lot of changing positions and improvisation and spontaneity. Picking out a position and deciding that you're going to do it in The Lusty Leg Lift is for sex n00bs.

33. How often do you curse?
My mouth is a gutter: -1 point

You want a girl who does anal and doesn't swear?

34. You’d best describe your sense of fashion as:
I wear casual clothing that flatters my figure: 0 points

So "stylish" is good, but "label whore" is bad, and 3-inch heels are super sexy. (Gosh, I'm not surprised Roissy doesn't know how long 3 inches is.) This is why I don't take my fashion advice from random misogynistic quiz-memes on the Internet.

And my ending score is... -5! That's actually not as bad as I expected.
Lesser beta. The men you want make fun of you out of earshot. You spend many years learning how to settle for mediocre betas.

Now, this would totally devastate me if I'd taken this test before ever going on a date. But I've actually of a lot of dates. Oh, but they were all "betas," lesser men. Except some of them were attractive and personable and had decent jobs and cool friends, so why were they betas?

...because they dated beta women.

I see how this works. It's kind of like Pokemon. You gotta catch the very best ones if you want the status of being the guy who caught the very best ones. And you know they're the very best ones if they give you the most status, and you know they give you the most status if... dizabin abba bitrei zuzei, chad gadya, chad gadya.

(I'm sorry for making a joke that no one will get, but it's hilarious, trust me.)

I do think it's interesting that Roissy admits that even "omegas" get laid, and even for scores below mine he predicts that they'll get hit on and have sex and get married. But not with the right sort, you see, so it doesn't count.

In the end, what have we learned? Most that I'm a sucker for answering dumb questions about myself. But also, very importantly, that Roissy has a small cock.


  1. I mean, "the legs of the merchandise," sorry, this girl didn't mean to use personal pronouns there.

    I didn't know until this moment that it was possible to snarf apple. Just don't go getting all case sensitive on us, 'kay? ;)

  2. But E/elmo, i think that S/slashy S/speak is the funniest T/thing ever!

    Especially because i always read it in the voice of Porky Pig.

    (Wait, P/porky P/pig? Is there any data out there on whether H/he was Dominant or submissive? i can't type properly without knowing!)

  3. No question about cankles? I'm shocked. :)

    That's always baffled me; out of all the parts on a woman's body that a man can be critical of, that's probably the silliest.

  4. All those "how full are your lips?" and "how high is your forehead?" questions remind me of those character creator for computer RPGs, that have all the sliders for various facial features.

    Also, I have to wonder: are the Roissy-types *trying* to evoke Brave New World?

  5. JFP - I think it's wolf packs that they're trying to evoke. (Hence the designation of the lowest class as "omega" rather than "epsilon.") Which is always kind of funny because the "alpha/beta/omega" model of wolf pack behavior is no longer widely accepted in wolves.

    Also people are not much like wolves.

  6. I'm a man, and took the market-value test for men. scored as a classical beta.

    I was mildly astounished, at how important he thinks income and so on is.
    But one of my faves was this:
    5. What does your hairline look like?
    Bald (age irrelevant): -1 point
    Bald but you are dark-skinned: 0 points

    I also liked that jail-time gives you a +1 (really! it helped my score!)

    The fun ended with the dating questions, since this test actually rewards transgressive assholes:
    19. You are on a second date with a girl. You go to kiss her. She turns her cheek to you and says “Slow down, I’m not that kind of girl.” You reply:

    (A) ”Sorry.” (-1)
    (B) “Yeah, well, no prob.” (+0)
    (C) ”This could be trouble ’cause I’m that kind of guy.” *smirk* (+1)

    So, Alpha behaviour means making fun of others boundaries.

  7. Anon - I saw that! It's kind of... kind of a threat, isn't it?

    I mean, what do you say next? She goes "no, really, I don't want that" and you're stuck either going "okay" (decent, but so not Game) or pushing her boundaries even more. In a scary, scary way.

  8. I remember looking at this test once, and trying to figure out what a 16 year old girl with a high forehead, large, widely spaced eyes, full lips, prominent cheek bones with a short jaw and huge, perky boobs would look like. I think that this poor girl would look like an alien.

  9. OpinionatedKait - And considering all Roissy's "I don't care about your pretty little personality, bitch" bluster, she'd probably be a floor-crawling weirdo.

    Actually, I kind of picture a really young Tyra Banks? I was never much into Tyra, but she's a famous model so maybe that just shows what I know.

  10. I think that this poor girl would look like an alien.

    Or like a cartoon:

  11. I get your joke! For what it's worth!

    Now I have to go throw up. What the fuck kind of person actually puts a test like this on the interne--oh no, I swore! -1 point for me!


  12. I'm still a little confused by his two pictures that "men and women, will instinctively know which is the hot girl and which is not"... so the woman on the right with clear skin, and big, beautiful eyes is the ugly one?

    Dear god, what hope do the rest of us have! We're going to have to spend our lives dating people who don't even measure the size of our foreheads on the first date! WHY??!?!?!?!?!

  13. that burnt the stick that beat the dog that ate the cat that bit the kid that my father bought for two zuzim...:-) best song.

  14. Count me in as one person that understood the Chad Gadya reference

  15. I like the way even the "Super Alpha"'s powers are "illimitable...for now". Because eventually you will be OLD! And WRINKLY! And then Roissy won't want to fuck you and you'll be SORRY!

    The bit about spontaneous oral sex makes it sound like I just pull down some guy's pants on the subway and start sucking away.

    The comments are also a joy to read, what with anyone who didn't like the quiz being called fat. It reminds me of the entry you did on 'fat' becoming a synonym for 'ugly'.

    ZOMG, I got your joke too!


  16. Gah! The slashies!

    They may be less _presumptuous_ than UCing every "dom" and LCing every "sub", but it's a tossup as to which is more _aggravating_.

  17. I have a theory. The more people, like Roissy, obsess about sex and looks, the less non-paid-for, non-imaginary sex he is actually having.

  18. I got an 11, and somehow I managed not only to date, but to marry some poor bastard! And he's good-looking and has a decent job!

    (He ended up testing poorly, mostly because he has social skills and gets women to like him by being pleasant and likable, rather than by playing the kind of head games that would shame a 7th grader)

    The test for men is actually even more offensive, if you can imagine that. Or, it can more or less be summed up as 'Are you James Bond, Y/N?'

    ...oh, and you'll be delighted to know that men lose fewer points for kiddie porn than you did for having a belly.

  19. I'm devastated to learn that this man I've never heard of doesn't approve of my I.Q., my man hands, or my forehead!!!

  20. Even if you DO judge women on totally sexist, purely aesthetic and looks-based standards that don't take into account whether she's a nice person, this quiz still makes no sense. People end up looking beautiful or ugly as organic wholes, not combinations of various statistics. This quiz is like trying to rate how good a painting by asking a bunch of questions like "does it have a horse in it" (+1) and "how much blue does it have in it" (a significant proportion, +5) and "what kind of perspective does it use" (no perspective, -1, one-point perspective, 0; two-point perspective, +1). A person who actually likes to look at paintings wouldn't use a scale like that.

    ...which means that Roissy is gay? I wouldn't be surprised.

  21. I'm a greater beta!

    ...Shit. Roissy's going to try to sleep with me.

  22. I think Roissy didn't think this thing through. He wants an unusually short jawline, saucer-like eyes, and an unusually large forehead. I think he wants to date Tweety Pie. At least she'd think he's well-hung.

    Also, the "ugly" girl just looks like a thirteen-year-old boy to me, one whose mom probably thinks he's quite handsome.

    I've noticed the fullness of my lips, but that's because they're more full than average. But I have no opinion on my jaw. It's just a jaw. It's got teeth in it. Interestingly, none of his questions were about teeth.

    Oh, and I have several pairs of flipflops with my foot imprint on them, and, what's more, every summer my feet have flipflop tan lines. What is Roissy's problem with flipflops?

    I didn't actually get my score, because whether a fifteen-year-old-fucker would date me is not something I wish to know.

    Also, why did he even write this bit? "Guys, you may take this quiz for your girlfriends or wives to see if you have settled for tepid sex once a week or if you always get hard looking at her and never forget her birthday." I'd expect a guy to have noticed if he always gets hard looking at someone. Surely nobody is that oblivious, right?

  23. It's more a matter of whether he should get hard looking at her. Because every guy really just wants to fuck Jessica Rabbit and women ought to be judged on the basis of how closely they adhere to that ideal, not on whether their boyfriends are actually attracted to them.

  24. Count me as another guy laughing at the absurdity of this "test", and another person who got the Chad Gadya reference.

  25. Notice that the "hot" answer about anal involves coming because it pleases your man so much.

    Not because it feels good. Not because you want it. Nooo. Hot chicks don't like sex for sex's sake, they're just there to get the dude off.

  26. A-chem! Speaking as a "nascent alpha," (and for the record, i've been told i look like tweety pie as an an *insult* by the roissys of the just can't "win") i'd like to know why anyone is paying any attention to someone who insists that the thirteenth "rule of poon" is "XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

    Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an asshole, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate asshole beats being a polite beta, every time." sexually assualt your date? For that matter, why are we paying any attention to someone who insist on calling anything the "rules of poon"?

    Except that it's funny...and depressing...and...funny?

  27. i've been told i look like tweety pie as an an *insult* by the roissys of the world

    No, no, no! That was a line! A real alpha female would have giggled and played with her hair.

    Women have no idea how the game works . . . .

  28. I would also like to point out that people with "piano fingers" (assuming he's talking about people who play the piano) don't have proportionally small hands. They have really long fingers.

  29. Wow. I was horrified by the test for women, and even more horrified by the test for men. The test for the woman addresses practically nothing I think is important, but I think the 'alpha' woman might be a decent person. But I have utter contempt for the 'alpha' man; I'd way rather be celibate than be that manipulative bastard.

    I like Mab's guide:
    though sex is considerably more important to me than that guide would show, and I'd add more detail about that.

  30. You know, I always used to think the way you describe. I was respectful and nice, and I never got anywhere. It was only when I started reading these pickup artist jerks and being more aggressive that I actually started to make some leeway. I had to read about 'kino' before I could try to initiate a little touching on dates...I had been taught to avoid any sort of touching.

    So they are useful for a certain sort of guy who's otherwise too shy to make the first move.

  31. SFG - But do you use it preferentially on not-too-smart short-jawed plump-lipped anally-receptive 16-year-olds?

    Being a little (a little, and intelligently) more assertive on dates isn't a bad thing. The whole suite of crazy that always seems to follow PUA culture around is a terrible thing.

  32. A "mediocre beta" sounds pretty good to me, actually. I don't follow the PUA stuff too closely but my impression is that an "alpha" male is probably very conventionally masculine-looking (bleh), very loud/forward/aggressive (BLEH), and makes a lot of money (my ex husband made six figures. His job kept him so busy that we never saw each other. Not doing that again).

    Me, I'm madly in love with a skinny, effeminate wisp of a boy who makes half the money I do and likes when I make the first move...and those are all qualities I specifically look for in a boyfriend. GO TEAM BETA!

  33. Did anyone else notice how, while for many of the female questions there were six or ten possible answers, there was rarely more than three for the men?

    ::giggles:: ::flips hair::

  34. Holly: No. (The last time I went after a 16-year-old I was 17 myself.) I don't go after not-too-smart unless I have no other options. Nerd chicks mostly, or any girl who looks like she might be vaguely intelligent...not that I'm all that successful. Ironically, the relative ratio means that most nerd chicks are in enough demand to have other options.

    A lot of guys take it too far. Even Roissy admits he's an asshole. Of course, he takes pride in it. The whole point of that blog is that nice guys lose out. And I have to say, there seems to be a lot of truth to it.

    Being a geek, I can't do intelligently. (Not in a social situation--this ain't a calculus problem.) It requires interpreting and calibrating your response to social signals I can't pick up.

    Leigh Olivia: The whole point of that thing is a rejection of the tenets of feminism, so you have to expect double standards at every step. In some ways it really is like a Jew reading Der Stuermer (that was Steinem's simile, not mine, and she even said 'a little')--everything is calculated to oppose YOU.

  35. Hey, SFG--

    I think most of the people here are geeks, and most of us manage to get laid without being dicks about it.

    And I really wish guys would stop equating 'shy wallflower' with 'nice'. Plenty of outgoing guys are nice, and they tend to have no problem attracting partners. If you're cripplingly shy, 'be more assertive' is good advice, but that makes up about 1% of pick-up-artistry.

  36. aebhel, you beat me to it by minutes. "Shy and unassertive" is not equal to "nice"; and "nice" and "confidently assertive" aren't mutually exclusive. I've known nice guys who couldn't get a woman to take them seriously beyond the friend stage, and every single time it was due to other specific personality issues.

    It'd be great if a shy, socially unsuccessful guy saw PUA culture, took away a sense of confidence and assertiveness, and could identify and reject all the crap. If it works that way for you, mazel tov. But there's a lot of crap in there, and it's perfectly reasonable to take to task the guys (and girls) who take the whole thing seriously.

  37. SFG - Like Elmo, I don't object to what you say you got out of PUA. I have a friend (tall, good-looking, fit, smart) who I wish would get that from somewhere.

    I object to Roissy's 'alpha' male. When I said that I'd rather be celibate, I meant it, and have had experience with extensive nice-guy celibacy to back that up. I'd rather be a nice celibate than a well-laid asshole. Maybe it's easy for me to say because it's not a problem for me anymore.

    I learned about what PUA has to offer from another source; when my first wife left me but the divorce was pending, and I was trying to remain chaste, I was enormously popular. My goal was enjoyment of the social interaction I was having, not sex with the person I was interacting with; and that made me fun. If sex had been a desire, it would not have changed that; what changes it is when sex is THE desire. Wanting to have sex with the fun, interesting person you met is not a problem in itself, the problem is when the person is just a sort of puzzle lock on some genitals.

    PUA is largely about faking the interest in social interaction with the sole goal of sex; about acting out a big lie. And that earns my contempt.

    I fear I will be on the market again, as my wife has moved out due to differences we were unable to resolve ourselves, and she seems to be too despairing of ever resolving them to agree to spend time and emotional energy on marriage counseling. Honestly, I expect to be very popular again, exactly because I will be looking for Miss Right not Miss Right Now, and talking to Miss Not Right For Me is still fun and worthwhile. I wonder, though, if these days the fact I really won't be looking for quick sex will be mistaken for part of a PUA game.

  38. "Greater beta. More than a few attractive guys will approach you. But if your personality is flawed you risk becoming a pump and dump victim."

    If my personality is flawed? Does flawed mean douchebag or normal?

  39. Wanting to have sex with the fun, interesting person you met is not a problem in itself, the problem is when the person is just a sort of puzzle lock on some genitals.


  40. over 33.0: stop taking this quiz. you get nothing! you lose! good day madam! I'm just totally, utterly, beyond saving, unfuckable... then how come I'm blissfully married to a nearly-perfect-in-every-way man?
    oh, it must be only my hallucination!
    PS: my 'imaginary' man doesn't have fat fetish

  41. I scored as a "classic beta." I'm actually kind of offended and disappointed I didn't score lower.

    Also, I really hated that anal sex question. It doesn't "make me come to know how much it pleases my man." It makes me come because it FEELS AWESOME. Like, for me. Physically.

    Crazy, right?



    *wheezy wheeze*

    ahhh yes.

    Um, isn't this the guy who gives positive points for as young as FIFTEEN?

  43. More seriously:

    Good call that even if he were attracted to something more out of what he thinks is the norm, he'd never admit it. Actually the more I see of this type, the more I suspect they really have no idea what they feel at all. And, for all the leering and smirking about ZOMG TEH SEXX0RZ, I really don't get the impression they *enjoy* it much. Like the best part is telling their buddies about it afterward and getting the ego rush; the actual act while they're doing it is, well, kind of gross. I mean they *talk* like they find it gross; I realize it's mainly a sign of arrested development, but...

  44. >I really don't get the impression they *enjoy* it much. Like the best part is telling their buddies about it afterward and getting the ego rush; the actual act while they're doing it is, well, kind of gross. I mean they *talk* like they find it gross; I realize it's mainly a sign of arrested development, but...

    classic signs of being gay and in denial about it.

  45. I'm a sub woman in a poly relationship. I rank as a Greater Beta, my dom/boyfriend ranks as an Alpha, and my girlfriend just misses being ranked as a "bona fide hottie" because she has small breasts and a low hip-to-waist ratio (which, according to me, is pretty damn delicious, but whatevs, Roissy). So I guess I'm doing pretty well for a lowly, athletic, competitive, hairy, aggressive bitch beta. It's probably because I like 6-inch heels and anal (though he doesn't factor in *giving* anal, which I do think is a grave oversight). =P

    Oh, and in regard to the blowjob question:

    Not all men think blowjobs are the pinnacle of non-PIV sexual experience!! OMFG!! I'm not ashamed to say that I've been with what would probably be considered a wide range/large number of men, and a significant portion (not most, but not a few, either) expressed the opinion that hands and other body parts felt much better on their cock than mouths, and that they felt weirdly pressured by conventional male sexual norms to view receiving oral as some sort of ultimate achievement. The men who expressed this opinion ran the gamut from subs to switches to doms, straight and bi, trans and cis, typical jock dude to weird nerdy goth boy.

    Hear me, people of earth! Not all penises are the same! Not all penises experience similar stimulation the same way! Men's orgasms can be as wildly varied and unique as we assume women's to be! Love it!

  46. nah, I don't think a lot of them are gay either; I think they're just really fucked up about sex and intimacy and bodies and, well, anything that isn't about getting points from external sources, because it's too confusing and too much work.

  47. "Chad gadya" is a circular thing? Guess that the version I sang must cut out midway through or something.

  48. Has anyone ever read his petty article on microalphatudes? This article right here will reveal how sick in the head Roissy is. Pay special attention to the part where he actually suggests she is turned on by his resistance to her request...over some friggin ice cream lol ...because she rounds her lips out which means she is subconsciously saying "please pump my round orifice with your manhood" omg how friggin stupid LMAO!


  50. You're blog is brilliant, I've been cruising round it all evening....but "You want a girl who does anal and doesn't swear?" just totally cracked me up cos this is exactly the kind of crazy shit women get.Its similar to,like, we're meant to fulfill the roles of fuckmate and shit clearer-upper...without ever uttering the words fuck or shit!
    "You want a girl who does anal and doesn't swear?" is henceforward permanently logged in my collection of one-liners.