Sunday, July 25, 2010

Scenes from an Apocalyptic Orgy.

-When certain people invite me to a "non-play event" that's really just a nice casual social barbecue, I'm just going to smile and nod and wait for the cocks to come out, because apparently in the presence of Certain People it takes about five minutes. Things were relatively decorous (except for Tommy doing his girlfriend in the bathroom while people stood outside the window holding up scorecards in the manner of Olympic judging), and then somehow the kitchen turned into an orgy. I'm not totally sure when the tipping point was. One moment I was just playfully sucking someone's nipples, almost as a joke, and the next I had different men's fingers in my pussy and ass.

-The "We have gone X days without a PIV incident" counter has been officially reset. With two different dudes. Whooo.

-I tried to get dressed three or four times, and each time within seconds someone would rip my clothes off. Eventually I gave up and just ran around naked all night. I ended the party lying naked on the lawn, staring up at the stars, just me and the grass and the world and the 500 mosquitos biting my ass.

-The previous night Lord Snuffulupagus wrote "WHORE" on me in Sharpie, and it washed off thorougly enough for me to rejoin polite society. Today it is carved in. (I have requested that the next time he wants to use me as a memo pad, he do "BUTT SLUT.")

-At some point I was lying on the kitchen floor yelling "I'M A FEMINSHT YOU GUYSH, A BIG SHTIME FEMININIMIST" to the guys who had been scratching me with steak knives and sticking a beer bottle up my pussy. ("This beer's gone skanked!") So, um, hopefully that doesn't lose me any cred.

-I started the night with a sore pussy and after being fucked by two guys and fingered by like everyone and Lord Snuffulupagus making some sort of running joke out of stuffing random household objects in me, the situation was to the point where getting penetrated was heavy pain play all on its own. I started giving a lot of blowjobs.

-Okay... I continued giving a lot of blowjobs. I'm disappointed that my gag reflex is what it is--I just can't get all the way down on an average size guy--but I try to make up for it in stamina and enthusiasm.

-90% of the party was perverts who were used to this shit, but at some point two relatively normal people showed up. They weren't exactly scandalized, but I think they were a little surprised at first. I honestly wasn't sure how to answer the question after a flogging, "Does that, like, hurt?"

(Yes. But not as bad as you'd think, probably, and really not bad at all by BDSM standards. And I kinda like that it hurts.)

-There was an interesting fluidity (hurr) to a lot of it, where people would be fucking and other people would be wandering in and out of the room watching or participating or just drunkenly giggling. There's an occasionally creepy fine line between "Ha ha, can I get an assist, you take the tits" and running into serious consent issues--at one point I did kind of get the heebie jeebies when people were pinning all my limbs and fingering me and I wasn't 100% sure who was doing what or if I had any ability to stop it--but for the most part I think things worked out.

-It's almost funny which social anxieties are exactly the same when you're fucking your way through a party. Oh no, am I being too slutty, are people thinking less of me for real? What did she mean by that remark? I don't want to fuck that guy, I hope I'm not snubbing him. Is it weird that I'm the only totally naked person? If I really don't want something, how do I get out of it without being a buzzkill? How can I make sure I'm not offending a guy's partner(s) when I fuck him? Where did all the kebabs go? Dammit, I was still hungry, WHO ATE ALL THE KEBABS YOU ASSHOLES.

-I don't think I can ever play "I Never" again.

-Was all this degrading, was my "I'SH A FEMINISH" truly sad or hypocritical? My answer: only if your view of what's degrading is hopelessly asymmetrical. Only if you think that a guy who's had three pussies on his cock is somehow more dignified than a girl who's had three cocks up her pussy. Only if you think that being flogged is necessarily more degrading than swinging a flogger. If you can accept that every sex act has two sides, then simply engaging in a lot of sex acts, even weird ones with near-strangers, shouldn't automatically be degrading to the women or the bottoms.

Also, most of what went on was really done in a spirit of fun and friendship. There was a lot of laughing and joking that women/bottoms were entirely included in, and things were relaxed and playful. It wasn't "hold her down and jam a beer bottle up there," it was me gigglingly and willingly offering myself for it and people stopping when I said "ow." (Or when I yelled "righty tighty lefty loosey, dammit!")

-I am still owed cake.

45 comments:

  1. hey! i got a 9.5 and a 10!

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  2. I'm gonna go sit in the corner with a jealous glare now...

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  3. Love the "I'sh a feminist!" declaration. And it's true. My version of feminism means every person gets to decide what/who/how/when/etc for themselves and choose their own adventure (doing or not doing something b/c someother entity says so is stupid). Sounds like a crazy fun party. :)

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  4. Amanda - Haha, I just got an email from Tommy bragging about "his" high scores. It's a doubles event, you freakin' divas.

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  5. Now I know what I want for my birthday: an apocalyptic orgy. Or, second thought, not the imminent b'day; while I don't think I'd turn down an orgy just because JFP wasn't there, I'd much prefer if he was. Also, next year is a Big Round Number, for which a Big Celebration is fittin'.

    Sunflower

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  6. Was the beer bottle at least sanitized before entry?

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  7. Patriarchy for Dummies.

    Since sexists like Holly + Twisty Faster (two peas in a pod) need to be schooled.

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  8. K - Not really. It was empty and not dirty or anything.

    Anon - Whoa. I assume you're the Butt-Slut but I didn't expect that link out of you. I'm just confused now.

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  9. "Does that, like, hurt?"

    "Not problematically."

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  10. Holly...you really know how to make us jealous, don't you?

    Fuck, this sounds like FUN. Except maybe the beer bottle thing; I'm something of a prude when it comes to size, but...still, fun!

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  11. How the hell do I get invited to these parties? (Or, you know, analogous-but-genderswapped parties where there are boys who want to be held down and fucked. Unless your party had those too, in which case- win) Seriously, you know how to make a readership jealous.

    (Wait, you could play "I Never" before?)

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  12. Jesus, it was only the NECK of the beer bottle, not the whole damned thing.

    What can I say? We had lost the bottle opener, and Holly was within reach...

    Jack

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  13. Sure you can play I Never. But if you play with non-kinky friends, make sure you play with sips not shots, to avoid killing them all with alcohol poisoning.

    (Note gratuitous sexual stereotyping above.)

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  14. Unregenerate - I think I'd die of alcohol poisoning.

    Is "non-kinky people haven't done kinky things" really a stereotype? It's more just a type.

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  15. Holly --

    Next time our schedules coincide, I will cheerfully carve 'BUTT SLUT' into you. 'Cause I'm an accomodating guy, that way.

    The 'bigshtime feminisht' thing was wonderfully funny. The great thing was that all the guys within pissing distance of you had abused and/or fucked you already, were amused at your slurring/crawling declaration, and were all pretty ardent supporters of feminism (Kaija's version of it). Dichotomies can be fun.

    What else did I stuff in you? Besides the beer bottle? I'm drawing a blank.

    Regarding the fluidity -- all but you and the two vanilla folks have a years-long history of fucking the bejesus out of each other and/or partying at Winter Fleas and such together, so last night (and most of our gatherings) have a pretty mellow, 'same stuff, different day, pass the seafood dip, would you?' feel to them. Like I've said -- screwing like rabbits while discussing lawn care, and stories that casually start "So I'm fucking a headless corpse" are the norm for us (that's why we have the lime).

    You are NOT still owed cake. Bitchslutwhore. :)

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  16. Lord Snuffulupagus - Hm. I think it was more threats with basically any vaguely phallic object than actual penetration attempts, to be fair. Although I think there was at least one other object, but I can't even remember. And there was the can opener, but that was non-penetrating.

    were all pretty ardent supporters of feminism
    Oh, I know. It really was the sex-positive safe space you all created that made me comfortable expressing myself sexually, or some bullshit like that.

    I was still owed cake when I wrote the entry. I have since received cake, and am grateful. Because it was nummy. :)

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  17. How do you deal with consent issues in a context like that? When it's like,

    One moment I was just playfully sucking someone's nipples, almost as a joke, and the next I had different men's fingers in my pussy and ass.

    when does consent come in?

    I was reading this, and my reaction was to get all nervous, and like, that's kinda scary.

    Which I guess is me being vanilla, and I don't want to be all, "educate me!" But I'm curious about how consent works in situations like that, with drunkeness and strangers, etc. Is there a kink FAQ 101 you would recommend?

    Sorry for being all serious-like.

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  18. Was all this degrading, was my "I'SH A FEMINISH" truly sad or hypocritical?

    I think perhaps one of the things feminism does for you is provide the environment in which you can play with humiliation/degradation without in fact being degraded.

    I also like submissive play (much milder) and am also concerned with opposing any real disrespect. I wonder if we're made more aware of the dangers of burning because we play with fire.

    My answer: only if your view of what's degrading is hopelessly asymmetrical.

    No offense, but this part is purest baloney. Of course it's asymmetrical, it's a value adjective. It would mean nothing if it were symmetrical. Is charcoal darker than raw cotton? Only if your view of what's darker is hopelessly asymmetrical.

    It wasn't degrading because you participated in play because you like it. It would absolutely be degrading if the same treatment you (or I) like in play were inflicted on you or anyone else without consent.

    Only if you think that being flogged is necessarily more degrading than swinging a flogger.

    You may be thinking that that non-play case would truly degrade the inflictor rather than the victim; I'd agree, but that's another sense of the word that would be horrible to confuse. The Nazis intended to degrade homosexuals with the pink triangle. Homosexual movements adopted the pink triangle as a badge of pride; the Nazis were the ones truly degraded by the whole thing. But it would be horrible to confuse the uses of degraded there and say that since the Nazis only degraded themselves it was really OK.

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  19. Is charcoal darker than raw cotton? Only if your view of what's darker is hopelessly asymmetrical.

    I...don't even know what that means. There's no double standard in thinking a dark-coloured thing is darker than a light-coloured thing. There is a double-standard in thinking a guy having sex is a stud while the woman who participated in that exact same act is a slut.

    Presumably, we perceive cotton as lighter than charcoal because we all hold an idea of neutral gray in our heads against which we compare everything else. If something is lighter than our idea of neutral gray, we might call it "light" and if it's darker than our idea of neutral gray we call it "dark". There's no asymmetry there.

    Slut-shaming is more like declaring male values to be neutral gray (and declaring gray the BEST COLOUR EVER!!!) so that by contrast everything women do is too-this or too-that. Although really I'd rather get rid of this "colours" metaphor altogether because I don't think it really works.

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  20. The consent issue here sent up a red flag too.
    Not because I am actually questioning if she consented, she clearly did...but because it's a group situation, and there's always an asshole in every crowd...and mumbling about what a Feminist you are doesn't change that.

    This reads more like a mean group of kids abusing someone in some nihilist suburban shithead kind of way which at worst, they should have outgrown in High School. Only here they had the ability to physically do adult things that smack of ridicule to a human being. That you enjoyed it doesn't exactly excuse the context, which is a public party, that wasn't intended for public sex scenes. That in itself strikes me as a violation. Would this have happened if you were sober? Were your limits discussed? Was there a safe word, and was there someone watching you at ALL times who could have stopped the situation if you wanted it to stop?

    Obviously you don't view this experience negatively, and you don't want to feel bad about something you did and enjoyed... buy as an outsider reading this, you might want to consider some of the issues I'm raising. Your Feminism doesn't provide you safety, or stop people from breaching your trust, or keep you safe like an invisible forcefield.

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  21. There's some interesting questions about consent, safe words, public party vs. private play expectations and related stuff in the most recent (and other comments) here. What do you think, Holly? Any thoughts, or is this a big enough topic to warrant its own post?

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  22. "...all pretty ardent supporters of feminism
    Oh, I know. It really was the sex-positive safe space you all created that made me comfortable expressing myself sexually, or some bullshit like that."

    This, exactly. Sex-positive safe spaces with people who are able to play well with others--in all senses of that statement--mean more fun for everyone once you get rid of all the stupid traditional/regressive/limiting roles and rules that tell people what they can and can't do or should and shouldn't be ashamed of/degraded by/etc. You don't have to trick someone into having sex with you if they are enthusiastically saying "yes, please!" Of course, it *does* take some communication/negotiation skills but I think people are smart enough to work that out if they really try. Sounds like Holly and her friends were fully aware of what they were doing and her after-party glow says that she enjoyed it...I trust her at her word.

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  23. perversecowgirl - Absolutely get rid of the colors metaphor; it was intended only to illustrate something not making sense.

    In terms of degradation, I was thinking more about the flogging, rather than the sex. Unlike flogging, sex is or should be normally considered symmetrical. But not in this instance:

    Only if you think that a guy who's had three pussies on his cock is somehow more dignified than a girl who's had three cocks up her pussy. I would generally say neither had any dignity advantage. But when one of those two people has "WHORE" written on them and the other doesn't, there is clearly an intent for an asymmetry in dignity; in this case play degradation. Slut-shaming was an assumption built in to this play, and I presume it wouldn't have been as much fun for anyone without it. Like flogging, it's fine in play and bad otherwise.

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  24. "Slut-shaming was an assumption built in to this play, and I presume it wouldn't have been as much fun for anyone without it. Like flogging, it's fine in play and bad otherwise."

    @ Mousieoo:

    I want to make it clear that I ask this question without any sarcasm implied, just honest curiosity: What, if anything, in Holly's post would make you feel that the activity mentioned (the slut-shaming, 'WHORE' writing part) was anything OTHER than play?

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  25. Lord Snuffleupagus - Nothing at all makes me think it was other than play. perversecowgirl seemed to be talking about the evils of serious slut-shaming, which is why I mentioned "bad otherwise".

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  26. Mousieoo: I was talking about the evils of (serious) slut-shaming...I got hung up on Holly saying that her evening was degrading "...Only if you think that a guy who's had three pussies on his cock is somehow more dignified than a girl who's had three cocks up her pussy" and then your reply that looked a lot like "saying a woman is a slut but a man is a stud is no different from saying cotton is lighter-coloured than charcoal" which...ew.

    Now that I have a clearer head, I remember the other exploits Holly related (cutting, flogging, etc.), and I've read your comment more carefully, and it seems like we're on the same page: we agree that certain things are degrading, but only if done to someone against his or her will.

    re: the commenters who worry about consent issues: my understanding is that the hosts of "play parties" usually screen their guests carefully in order to weed out the assholes, so it's a fairly safe environment. And while an ahead-of-time discussion of rules and limits might be a good idea, it's not necessarily horrible and scary not to have one.

    You know how sometimes a girl might have a nice second or third date with a guy who is good and intuitive and respectful, and they'll get a little tipsy over dinner and then she'll bring him home and they'll have sex for the first time? She doesn't sit the boy down for an elaborate discussion of what she will and will not do because her gut tells her he's "safe" and if he does something she doesn't like, she can go "Don't do that, I don't like it" and he'll stop. A play party hosted by someone you know and trust strikes me as similar, except instead of one tipsy-but-respectful boy it's a bunch of them and instead of vanilla sex it's kinky sex.

    Mind you I don't do the orgy thing so I'm just guessing.

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  27. I know what you mean about fluidity. The wife & I used to go to swing clubs. It's interesting how people come & go (yes, pun intended).

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  28. perversecowgirl has summed it up pretty well -- 'certain things are degrading, but only if done to someone against his or her will.'

    While this wasn't billed as a play party, it was made clear in the invites that play was okay and that anyone was welcome to grab a bed, couch, beanbag, toilet (we're looking at you, Tommy) and feel free to engage in swing and/or kink activities -- and this particular crowd was almost entirely folks intimately familiar with each other. So folks weren't screened exactly, because almost everyone (Holly and the Brace O' Mundanes aside) hang out together a lot already.

    It wasn't EXACTLY an orgy -- no more than 3-4 people were ever connected in a sexual manner. And it wasn't EXACTLY a play party -- the hatchets and Rockers just floated out, like they seem to do now and then (okay, often) when this crowd gets together. The rules were loose because it was a loose crowd. Holly seemed to fit in well enough, although perhaps a little more discussion of expectations might've helped (on both sides).

    -- The Nihilist Suburban Shitheads (we're gonna start a band!)

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  29. Ah, the situation is a lot more comprehensible, knowing that people were mostly well-acquainted.

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  30. People with consent concerns - Things were actually a lot more under control than I've made them sound in this post--I wrote skewed more towards the crazy shenanigans than to the sane underpinnings. I might write more later because now I'm too sleep-deprived to think, but in short: this wasn't some spontaneous wild loss of control that I happened to enjoy because I'm crazy, this was just a bunch of wacky pervert friends doing their wacky pervert things. And following the usual wacky pervert rules in doing so.

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  31. These people sound dangerous. They should be reported to the authorities.

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  32. "It wasn't EXACTLY an orgy -- no more than 3-4 people were ever connected in a sexual manner."

    oh god. :D

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  33. One last note: there were still several skewers of kebabs left at the end of the night.

    Sorry. :)

    Jack

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  34. There were still kebabs? Damn!

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  35. I know, right? I didn't see any. Well, except the shrimp ones that I'm allergic to, and the vegetable ones that are, you know, vegetables.

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  36. Nope. Steak kebabs. Many of them. Kerry and I ate them Sunday afternoon and laughed at all your collective misfortune.

    Jack

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  37. Jack said: "The 'bigshtime feminisht' thing was wonderfully funny. The great thing was that all the guys within pissing distance of you had abused and/or fucked you already, were amused at your slurring/crawling declaration, and were all pretty ardent supporters of feminism (Kaija's version of it). Dichotomies can be fun."

    Anyone else catch this?

    Why was it amusing? If you're not slut shaming, and don't see a contradiction with a female picking her partners to do as she pleases - how was it "wonderfully funny"?

    Something isn't right about this story, but I suspect it's best suited for discussing 10 years from now during therapy.

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  38. Anon - It was funny because being a feminist is not stereotypically associated with submissively pleasing multiple men, not because it's actually incompatible. (Also, it was funny because I was lying on the floor ranting.)

    As for "therapy": Jesus Christ, don't give me your fucking pity because I'm a pervert. Now that's slut-shaming.

    I ask you this: if a guy told you that he went to a party, fucked two girls and messed around with another one, would you cluck "poor dear, that ain't right" and predict therapy?

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  39. The funny part was the dichotomy, the juxtaposition of the traditional image one might have in one's mind of a feminist (and a 'big-time' one at that) standing tall and proudly, clearly stating her views, vs. what we saw -- a somewhat befuddled, naked person, creeping about the floor and having trouble with all those pesky consonants, and not standing tall or clearly stating her views. The other dichotomy was what an outsider might have seen -- a bunch of guys who had just physically abused a girl, standing around laughing at the helpless, naked girl slurring on the floor -- vs. the reality, a bunch of guys, all of whom are strongly pro-equality and a couple of whom are friends of the girl's, gently amused at her drunken slurring.

    Humor generally relies on surprise and/or a major contradiction in appearances and/or expectations. Does that make more sense now?

    Jack

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  40. Holly, you beat me to it --

    Jack

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  41. There were many meat kabobs left. I brought them into the kitchen to put them in the fridge so they wouldn't be forgotten and left out. They had to remain on the table because I couldn't get to the damn fridge because of the orgy in the kitchen. I sighed and went back outside. I then announced to the few folks around the fire; 'there's porn in the kitchen if anyone is interested'.
    What made me giggle is that someone at the fire responded with; 'corn? oh, cool.'

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  42. I love how the Kebab Controversy is creating a roughly equal amount of discussion to the Clearly This Was A Gang Rape And The Poor Thing Just Doesn't Know It Controversy.

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  43. ladies and Gentlemen -- and all the rest of you perverts -- let me introduce Anonymous of 7/28 9:09 Am, AKA Kerry, my long-suffering wife (unless it's Kellie, my girlfriend, but I'm 99% sure that it's Kerry), who only wanted to get to the damned fridge. And for Holly to not bark like a dog at the pillows so she could get some damned SLEEP.

    Holly -- Clearly This Was A Gang Rape And The Poor Thing Just Enjoyed It.

    Bigshtime.

    Jack

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  44. Oh -- and Holly, imagine the commentary across feminism, vegetarianism and safe play if I had inserted a kebab into you. You'd need an entire new blog just to handle it all (The Kebabracy?)

    Jack

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