I finally feel secure enough in my kinky cred to admit this: I don't like being hit hard on the butt. It's like the quintessential kinky activity, and it's not that fun for me. I like getting hit softly on the butt. I like gettimg hit hard on the upper back and shoulders. And I like gettimg tied up or ordered around and scratched and bitten and cut and clamped and tweaked and humiliated and sexually used in just any way you can imagine. But I do not like to be hit hard on the butt.
In kink circles, this is a bit like being a sushi enthusiast who doesn't like fish. Sure there are other things on the menu and you can make a full meal out of them, but when someone hears you like sushi they think "fish," and if you just ask them for "a sushi pllatter," there's going to be fish on it. And not liking fish can make you (and sometimes others, unfortunately) question whether you're really a real sushi fan. Certainly if the first sushi they serve you is fish and you turn up your nose, they're liable to believe you're a poser.
I am not a poser. Kink is what you want it to be, and while we might (probably obnoxiously) sniff at people saying "we did it with the lights on once, that's pretty kinky," that sure as hell isn't my problem. I am a submissive, masochistic, thoroughly perverse little whore. I just don't happen to like getting hit hard on the butt.
Real masochists enjoy being hit hard on the butt.
ReplyDeletePoser.
Meh. I've had guys insinuate that I'm not "really" dominant because I don't like to wear shiny black hooker-wear or scream orders at people.
ReplyDeleteFuck 'em. They're just mad that I won't cater to their particular kinks.
-perversecowgirl
What about masochists who aren't actually submissive? Are they posers too? :P
ReplyDelete"Sushi" is actually, technically speaking, just rice with vinegar and salt seasonings. :)
ReplyDeleteMasochists who aren't actually submissive are technically made of sushi. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like that's a deep metaphorical statement that just went waaaaay over my head.
ReplyDeleteI'm behind you 100%, Holly. :) Kink is what you make of it.
ReplyDeleteI'm kinky as all get out, and I hate being bitten. My brain is seemingly incapable of parsing it as anything other than "DAMAGE!" and I have to restrain myself from going for eyes and full speed joint locks to make it stop.
I really dislike having that reaction to people I love.
I already knew this about you... Good to see that you are owning it, though.
ReplyDeleteThere is NEVER any shame in knowing, and communicating, what you like and don't like. Don't worry, you won't get thrown out of the club for this.
Holly, you never need to worry that you're not a "true fan" of something. It's reasonable to worry that you're missing out on a great experience because of a silly hangup (though I'm sure that's not the case with you); but, if you exclude other people's reactions to you, what difference does it make if you don't fit some definition of a true fan? What difference could it make?
ReplyDeleteNaturally, it's unfair and unpleasant if people laugh at you because you're not a true fan of something according to them.
I used to be so worried if I'd make the team, and you know what? I don't care anymore. I have the privilege to not care, because I'm in a monogamistic relationship. All that matters is what we want and need. And I don't necessarily like being hit hard on the butt either. I certainly wouldn't approve bringing any implements, say floggers, to the table. There are many, many things I like, and I have never even thought that flogging somehow should be one of them, when it isn't.
ReplyDeleteHow narrow-minded can you get, if you keep a checklist of things accepted and needed to be labeled the godly kinky?
Holly, it somehow bothers me that you want to use the word whore. Is there a reason for it, other than pure hyperbole?
Pasthurt - I don't mean much by "whore" except a rather inexact synonym for "slut." And I have a friend I play with who seems to favor calling me a whore (or specifically a little whore,as I have never been accused of being a big tall whore) and I guess it sorta stuck in my head.
ReplyDeleteHa! I though that maybe there was a past play experience there somewhere. I'm all for "you little whore", and glad to be one on my turn. It's just when it comes up in a sexual contex, no, wait, in any contex, it makes me think how it's supposedly a bad thing to be one. Right? Like you are condescending to the ones mentioned by using their label to describe yourself as a sexual deviant. But yeah. Little slut is somehow much more... cuddly.
ReplyDelete