Because he enthusiastically consents to it, yeah yeah, and because it's a morally neutral act that carries no shame, sure sure, of course. But these are only reasons not to not do it. Let's talk about why I want to do it.
I want to do it because I love my boyfriend's butt. I love my boyfriend, much more--but I love his butt in a completely separate way. Frankly, my relationship with my boyfriend and his butt is nearly polyamory. Rowdy has an exceptional butt, a truly world-class ass, round and strong and smooth, and it's a joy just to touch. To outright fuck it, to have that amazing ass tightening beneath me and that smooth skin pressing against my groin, would satisfy a primal lust for a thing of beauty.
I want to do it because it fucks around with gender. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I'm not very comfortable with being a girl? I love the feeling of having a cock. Obviously I can't feel it exactly (although with the base right up against my clit, quite a bit of sensation gets through), but I love having my cock stroked and sucked. And fucked. It's the thrill of sex mixed with the thrill of violating gender roles, and that's a lot of thrill right there. (I'd have to ask my boyfriend to get his perspective on this, but I don't think of it as making him more feminine. I want to look down and watch a man get fucked.)
I want to do it because it could hurt him. Not that I would! Psychologically, I can't. I've tried to hit him several times (with his agreement and encouragement), and the relevant Batman sound effect is not "bam" but "piff." I can't bring myself to do it. Nor could I bring myself to cause him pain by fucking his ass, but the fact that I could is powerful. It means that I have to be conscious of myself during sex, be responsible rather than impulsive in my actions, and be highly, highly sensitive to his reactions. I'm usually pretty uninhibited, so that's a new way for me to experience sex. It's also sexy as hell to have someone at my mercy because I am inside his body.
I want to do it because it turns me the fuck on for reasons I can't even elaborate here because I don't understand them myself. I want to do it because thinking about it gets me wet and squirming. I want to do it because I've had dreams about it. I want to do it because every time I've played with a man's ass is a crystal clear and thrilling memory in my mind. I want to do it because it's fucking hot and hotness is a thing unto itself.
I want to do it because umf. Yeah.
I agree with Anonymous!
ReplyDeleteAlso, this is completely unrelated but I was translating what you'd written for my boyfriend (we're French) and then I realized that in French 'Holly' sounds exactly like 'in bed.' Haha.
Heh... "au lit"?
ReplyDeleteHaha yes.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I still couldn't convince him that getting fucked up the ass would feel really good, even with this article..
I actually can -- and frequently do -- reach orgasm with a strapped-on dick. Good thing I was genderqueer already, because that sort of thing messes with your head. And the heads of any people with a genital-essentialist view of gender, thus: "Wait, so if my dick isn't 'real', why can it do everything* yours can do, plus be any size/color/shape I want and vibrate? Only it kind of seems like mine is BETTER. I'm just sayin'."
ReplyDelete* except make someone pregnant, I suppose, but since I don't want children and neither do my partners, it's kind of a non-issue (har!)
French Anonymous: have you told your boyfriend about prostates? <.<
ReplyDeleteYes. He still doesn't want to, probably because he thinks it'll make him less manly and more gay (yes, there's about a thousand microaggressions in those 8 words, but I'm working on it.)
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to echo how awesome it is to fuck a man with a strap on. It's kind of my favorite, for a lot of the reasons you mentioned, Holly! Although weirdly enough, as much as I love gender fuckery, I feel very feminine with a fake cock. Lol.
ReplyDeleteI don't have quite the enthusiasm for ass-fuckin' as you, Holly, but I do love it because of THEIR enthusiasm.
ReplyDeleteFrench Anon, it always baffles me when guys haven't done/won't do any ass play. I've done it for the first time to a few guys, and it's amazing. It BLOWS THEIR MINDS. So great.
French Anonymous - you obviously know your boyfriend better than we do, but I just want to mention that there are reasons for not wanting anal play beyond "it will make me less manly"
ReplyDeleteSuch as "it doesn't feel good for me".
I know from experience that any kind of play that involves my anus ranges in sensation from "mildly unpleasant in a non-nice way" to "deeply unpleasant and/or painful (and not the nice kind of pain)"
And saying "no way" to anything involving ones own anus doesn't necessarily make one a prude or homophobe.
Ulc- I agree, but how d'you know you don't like something if you've never tried it? (Or even considered it at all?)
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's right to pressure someone into buttsex even "just to try it"--no's no and all that.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it would be nice if he'd get over his "it's gay and not manly" thing, even if it never results in actual penetration.
True.. sexual pressure is annoying even when it doesn't occur in a creepy rape-culture context.
ReplyDeleteI'm mainly bothered by the "gay" thing. (I'm just interested in buttsex 'cause it would be a new, different-but-still-pretty-vanilla thing to try. I'm fine with no buttsex too!)
(Also I just remembered that when I was about 12, I wrote a song called 'vanilla girl' about feeling like a plain, normal person when everyone I liked was into extravagant, crazy people I could never live up to. I didn't know what vanilla meant. I have no idea why we associate 'vanilla' with 'conventional' and 'widely accepted,' I'm the only person I know who will choose the vanilla icecream.)
"AHA! I WAS TECHNICALLY CORRECT!"
ReplyDeleteSigned, Hole-y is a Butt Slut
I love the Museum of Science.
ReplyDeleteFrench Anon - Here's the thing, even if someone hasn't tried it, it's perfectly okay to not be into any specific thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm reasonable sure that even if I tried it, anything involving faeces would not be to my taste, and I have no desire to try it. This may be because of the social taboo's or simply remnants of the prude I was 10 years ago. But here's the thing, even if either of those are the reason, pressuring me would still be rude.
Now, I'd agree that the "less manly, more gay" thing is a annoying reason - but that's because of the homophobic and misogynistic implications, not because he doesn't want it.
It's perfectly fine for someone to not be into anal, or any other kind of activity. But if they're not into it because of prejudiced, hateful, or just plain incorrect reasons (any man who likes butt play MUST be gay!,) and only those reasons, there's a bit of a problem.
ReplyDeleteI love fucking my boyfriend's arse, too! Well, he's a fairly new boyfriend, so we've only done it once so far - his first time with it - and he was extremely surprised both that he came from it and the lack of mess (compared to what he was expecting). I love confounding expectations. ^_^
ReplyDeleteIt was with a hand-held dildo, though, not a strap-on. My feeldoe is a bit too big for him to consider just yet...
And Anon at 3.49: Some would regard a cock that can't get anyone pregnant as better than one that can, as well! Would certainly mean a lot less BC faff...
Tamar Rowe
RE: how do you know if you haven't tried?
ReplyDeleteI have never in my life touched a hot stove. And yet, despite the lack of direct experience, through knowledge of my nervous system, my pain tolerance, and related experiences (yes, I was that idiot who stuck his finger in an electrical socket; I won't tell you how old I was, only that it was too old) I am able to infer that touching a hot stove would, in fact, hurt.
By a similar process, my husband never tries to surprise me with toys. Nervous breakdown in a can--and I know that without trying it.
--Rogan
I really wish I never tried anal. The only reason I tried it was because I felt like I should - based on reasoning like "well how do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?"
ReplyDeleteThe reality is that I fantasize about a lot of thing's I've never tried. I've never been in a sex swing but I think it would be super-fucking-cool and I'd love to try. But I've never fantasized about receiving anal sex - ever- and I should never have tried it. The reality was exactly as unarousing as I expected, and a good deal more painful than I expected. Next time someone pressures me into a sex act I don't have any interest in (and which has a lot of potential to cause me pain) I will tell them to fuck off.
To put this in perspective: why would you want to have sex with someone who isn't interested? If you're girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever doesn't want to have anal sex that is PERFECTLY FINE.
I'm with the people who don't believe in the "How do you know if you haven't tried it?" boat - but I do think it's all about communication. Funny thing how so much about sex comes back to that, isn't it? I *do* think that if one partner is particularly interested in it, there should be open conversation about it, but that there are, as always, boundaries that should be respected. If the thought of it invokes nervous breakdown, yeah. Gotta back off.
ReplyDeleteBut for guys whose only concern is "It'll make me gay/less a man/feminine/whatever"? Dudes, get over yourself. I've been on the receiving end of a good assfucking. It drove me quite literally out of my mind, it was amazing. And you know what? I was WAY too busy feeling awesome to feel any less of a man. And I'm pretty sure that grunting, moaning, and rolling around sweaty would all fall on the masculine side, if you had to put a label to it - which I really don't think would be valid, anyway.
one of the BEST toys to replace all other strap-ons: http://www.amazon.com/Fun-Factory-XFF24406-Funfactory-Violet/dp/B002B55WYQ
ReplyDeletereally, really. it's amazing.
I concur!
DeleteThis is the anon who doesn't like buttfucking:
ReplyDeleteLast year a friend of mine pulled me over right before our final exam to tell me about the Fun Factory Share, and how much she likes fucking her boyfriend with it, and how good it feels, and how it's the best toy she ever bought...
I barely past the final, I couldn't think about anything else. I bet she did it on purpose! Anyway, I'm glad you like it too. Thinking about that toy/that story always makes me laugh.
I am 100% with you on this - I love it!
ReplyDeleteI'm about 6.5 on a scale of 1-10 for interest in pegging. 7.5 if I'll get a little more familiar stimulation at the same time. 9 if I'm confident she'll get (the right or, better, almost-right type of) clit stimulation.
ReplyDeletePossibly a little off topic, but I must express the warmest approval of the illustration you chose for this post.
ReplyDeleteAnal sex directly nails the prostate. I've had the most intense orgasms ever from my wife doing me. Earth shattering. No hands on my penis explosions.
ReplyDeleteAfterwards, I feel so close to her. It's a real bonding experience. I've always wondered if it was from being penetrated, or just surrendering to her, and do women develop similar feelings from intercourse.
So many people here are dead on correct about that lame guy who doesn't want anal because it would make him feel less masculine or make him feel gay. What a jerk! He should just learn to take it up the ass and enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteIn the same way, any woman who feels uncomfortable with wearing a strap-on because it makes her feel less feminine or makes her upset that she's engaging in activity she emotionally associates with lesbianism should just suck it up. Who cares about your comfort and boundaries -- just strap one on, gal, and please your partner! Your feelings of discomfort and your sexual self-identity aren't important! Just bang the hell out of your man's ass.
(Sarcasm, in case you're tone deaf. Written by a married intersexed couple who enjoys anal play -- but also respect each other's and other play partner's emotions and personal gender identity and orientations)
Goodness...must every expression of passion for an act be followed by 1)attempts to convince, 2)accusations about people who remain unconvinced, 3)resentments that people's opinions are not being respected and lastly...4)chastising of people who thought they knew what was best for everyone?
ReplyDeleteIt would be SO refreshing if that pattern did not have to be repeated ad infinitum.
I love strap-on play. Some people don't. Whoopee!
This article made my day!!! I'm a 19 year old girl who feels exactly the same way.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I object to to is the guy's attitude. If he doesn't want anal sex because of an unpleasant sensation, that's fine. But to not want it because it makes him feel gay and girly, that's a very prejudiced view.
Anyway, back to the sexy stuff. I too have feverish physical reactions like you when I dream of fucking a man's smooth arse. I too have vivid fantasies. I too look at male arses as separate entities to be made love to; even better if the owners have great bodies and faces. I too writhe and squirm at the thought of a throbbing cock attached to my feminine body, being squeezed by a gorgeous man's hot tight arse. I'm a horny wreck. *sigh*
I'd really like to discuss my fantasies further with you. I have never met another girl so likeminded, with similar fantasies, and with similar motivations for the fantasies. Do email me at amethystaura11@gmail.com, if you like.
I am a gay guy (still a virgin!) and I always find these female-on-male stories and related stuff really arousing. It sort of makes me question my own sexual orientation sometimes! To be honest, I would be in a relationship with a woman if she was as open-minded as the OP or some of the commentators. I just think I prefer being the submissive one. To a man, ideally, but I'd take a girl any day :).
ReplyDeleteConfessions of why I want to do my boyfriend with a strap on.
ReplyDeleteI want to hear you moan softly with my tongue on your puckhole. I want to watch your face as I pleasure you with only my fingertips. I want to hear you beg to be fucked by my dildo. I want to hold it in my hand and stroke it. I want to run my fingers thru your hair with you on your knees and watch you while I fuck your mouth with it. I want your body giving itself to me unconditionally without words; Primal; Instinctual.
I want to use the tip of my dick to open you slowly like a flower and have you grind into me to fuck you harder. I want to feel my hands on your hips as I thrust my cock into you. Most of all I want to hear you moan with agonizing pleasure and beg for release....and I want to hear you call my name when I finally let you cum.
Most of all I want to do my boyfriend with a strap on is because.... the thought makes my pussy hum with delight.... and he is soooo fucking hot I cannot resist
LL
I am a guy who's ex used to do this and I got to loving it. I now wish I hadn't because it's ruined me - I love getting pounded and finding women into this is very difficult. I have let a guy do it, and truly that was also great. I don't feel less manly or queer - I guess I'm bi or whatever - I really don't care about the label. My problem is that I don't really find men attractive while I really do find women attractive, but I also love getting it. I am starting to think I might just give it up and be 'gay'.
ReplyDeleteThe anus is not the Gay Hole. If you don't find men attractive but you like buttsex--then you're a straight guy who likes buttsex.
DeleteHi Holly - yes you are right: the anus is not the gay hole. But damn, finding women who are into this is very difficult and in general just asking is a great way to get dumped quickly. And I do like buttsex - giving and receiving.
DeleteHey! :)) I'd let my fuck my ass if she indicated that she wanted to. Methinks I'll bring it up.
ReplyDelete<3 Jes
hey lisa, let me tell you something to start with... once you do it, you won´t miss your bf at all... first of all cleanliness it is a most, you can get anal douce at a drug store, get it to use it, we guys don´t like messy when it comes to us... afterwards, lick your way down untill you get him, and then start working your way in... don´t forget to make him feel like a man instead of gay... you know how concerned guys can be about that... have fun!
ReplyDelete"A man instead of gay"?
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell do you think gay men are?
...Lesbians?
This thread was actually an interesting read until all these pervy dudes started posting their made up stories.
ReplyDeleteI know, right?
DeleteI think this got linked somewhere sketchy, or else turns up unintentionally high in the search results for something sketchy.
I don't delete comments unless they're trolly, but this thread has definitely gone weird places. It's not that I exactly disapprove of people sharing their sexual experiences and fantasies--that's what this blog is for!--but this thread definitely has kind of an "off" tone that gives me the heeber jeebers. It feels like porn mentality, not sex-positive mentality.
Oh well, at least it's an old one.
My wife will ass fuck me only if she is drunk, and doesn't like me touching the strap on. She feels it makes me Gay. I just think it is good to role reverse sometimes.I don't want real dick. I want one attached to her. it makes me feel closer and I cum real hard when she is fucking me. She even got off herself one time.
ReplyDeleteCAN WE PLEASE GET THE HELL OVER THE IDEA THAT BUTTS ARE GAY?
DeleteIf you're a man, having sex with a woman, you are probably not gay. (Maybe you are? But that's something you'd know inside yourself, and if you know you're straight, then you're straight.)
And there's nothing wrong with being gay, so stop protesting "it's not gay or anything" like you're saying "it's not murder or anything."
And for God's sake nothing about sexual orientation has any goddamn thing to do with what HOLE you use.
Agreed, I think we've just gotta get it out there that all women that receive oral from their man must have lesbian tendencies... That's how misguided the whole gay idea strikes me.
DeleteThis past week, a new lover took me to bed & fulfilled a fantasy of several years; she lubed up my butt, and with my encouragement eventually got most of her hand up there. She enjoyed herself immensely, and I...I knew I'd enjoy it, but I didn't realize how much. I felt tears in my eyes; not from pain, but from liberation. It just felt so good.
ReplyDeleteI'm not gay in any measurable sense; if you plot my sexuality on the homo/hetero continuum, I am probably a hetero outlier in that there is absolutely no part of my psyche that wants anything to do with men, sexually. I know this the way I know that the sun will rise. So gay guys...do anything you like with my blessings, but I have no inclinations in that direction.
So why do I enjoy having my rear end penetrated by a woman so much that I cried with relief? First...it feels good. (A prostate is a terrible thing to waste!). Secondly...for whatever reason I've had very few people in my life who were interested in making me feel good. It was such an intimate act of selflessness, I was caught up in the act of someone giving for the sake of giving me pleasure.
And it was essentially liberating, on a level I hadn't really anticipated. It was giving myself permission to revel in the generosity of another; it was trusting someone to not hurt me, and most of all it was an act of intimacy that men are almost never able to experience. We are penetrators (and I'm happy with that) but we're not penetratees. It makes a difference. When someone is in you, and you allow them that access - the combination of trust and surrender is profound. I'm 44 years old; it was a new experience. (And gave my decision to keep myself healthy a good validation too, eh?)
I'm not sure if I was capable of surrendering like this when I was a young man; but maybe. I do know that I can understand it and myself better now, and I would encourage people in a safe relationship to explore it.
I'm a little baffled by guys who think it makes them gay. That's so obviously stupid it's hard to take it seriously; it's like somebody thinking it makes you more left-handed or perhaps more red-headed. But...maybe if you fear giving up control -if you equate loss of control with femininity/homosexuality-then maybe you'll have a hard time with it.
But I think that's a dumb equivalency, and I'd encourage anyone in a safe and trusting relationship to give it a shot. You may not like it, as the sensations are highly subjective and nothing is for everyone; but I loved it. Not everyone has my history of serving in the Army,riding motorycles, and doing manly things for 44 years to bolster thier sense of masculine security; but if you've got the balls to give it a shot I think you'll find it a good relationship/sex enhancer.
I had a girl do this to me when I was single. Loved it! Wish I could motivate my wife to do it!
ReplyDeleteFor those that would like to try this, but want more stimulation than a strap on, try this: https://www.feeldoe.com/page6.html
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend is FTM transgendered and uses this on me. He says that he can feel everything and it's amazing. Good luck!
the wife loves using the feeldoe and has just bought a realdoe
DeleteThis is something my husband and I have just gotten into. It's not anything I ever thought would turn me on but it does. We haven't tried a strap on yet but I can't wait to go get one. The power I felt by just using my finger was enough to get me off. He's always loved it when I dominate him, I just never realized how far he wanted to go.
ReplyDelete"Umf. Yeah." Is pretty much my reason, too. Oh man, I want to do that so bad.
ReplyDeleteI love you...
ReplyDeleteI am so, so happy I stumbled across this article. I can relate to a 'T'- Thank you for such a great read :)
ReplyDeleteHere's my opinion. I'm a man and I love it when my wife fucks me in my ass with a strap on. Yes gender fuckery is hot and all but it just feels amazing to be dominated with the most powerful (emotionally) dominating move we can think of. At firt I felt very insecure about liking it. Started out with butt plugs and the like in secrecy while playing with myself, but now we both enjoy it. No I am not gay, I have absolutly no attraction to men in any way. I absolutly love the female body and all its amazing wonders.
ReplyDeleteTo some up in short, it is alot of fun, I love being dominated by my petite wife who loves to dominate, it messages the prostate and the climax just feels amazing.
I was wondering if i could ask you about your first time doing this? Was it your idea or were you asked? I ask because iv only done it with my gf of 8 years and it was the hardest thing iv ever done telling her that this is my fantacy. So im curiouse to see how other girls feel about it
ReplyDelete