Content warnings for this chapter: Emotional abuse, sexual coercion. As per usual.
His sculptured, pouty lips are parted slightly, and his shiny, clean hair is a glorious mess. How could anyone look this good and still be legal? I remember his room upstairs… perhaps he’s not legal.Hey now, BDSM is legal in Washington! Stalking, kidnapping, and sexual assault might be more of an issue.
I feel different. I feel a little sore, if I’m honest, and my muscles - jeez it’s like I’ve never done any exercise in my life. You don’t do any exercise in your life, my subconscious has woken.Okay, new theory: Ana spontaneously appeared out of nothingness, full-grown, a few days before the events of the book. She's never done anything before because she literally did not exist.
(Also, being so new to the universe means she hasn't had much time to learn about grammar.)
I find two welcome hair ties at the same time in my bag and quickly tie my hair in pigtails. Yes! The more girly I look, perhaps the safer I’ll be from Bluebeard.Wha?
I don't think she's literally afraid he'll kill her, so is she trying to be "safe" from BDSM? Or sex? Isn't it creepy that she thinks of these as things she needs to be safe from? I've never worried about being "safe" from BDSM, for much the same reason that I've never wanted to be "safe" from cuddling with a pile of puppies.
And isn't it SUPER MEGA ULTRA CREEPY that Ana knows she needs to do this by manipulating her appearance rather than by telling him no? Even if this is kind of a joke, isn't it... kind of not? And why the hell does she think looking girly would help?
“How would you like your eggs?” I ask tartly. He smiles. “Thoroughly whisked and beaten,” he smirks.YES. YOU'RE KINKY. YOU LIKE HITTING STUFF. GOOD FOR YOU. WE GET IT.
I'm kinky too, but I don't like scrambled eggs that much, so I just have to order "over easy, and by the way, I've been really enjoying double penetration lately."
"I wondered if we should continue your basic training.” [...] “What sort of basic training did you have in mind?” I ask, my voice slightly too high, betraying my wish to sound as natural, disinterested, and calm as I can with my hormones wreaking havoc through my body. “Well, as you’re sore, I thought we could stick to oral skills.”She never actually agreed to that contract, y'know. He showed it to her, she went all goggle-eyed, she tried to set some limits, he argued her out of them, she said she was a virgin, he flipped his shit, and they fucked. But the contract is still tabled.
If this book were pure fantasy, if it were a "fair maiden whisked away to a castle of debauchery" sort of story, I think I'd cut it more slack on the consent issues. I'd understand that it wasn't trying to depict real BDSM, but a kinky fantasy, and nonconsent can be a part of a fantasy. But I don't get this same understanding from FSoG. It tries to depict negotiation and consent. It's just goddamn terrible at them.
“Was he gentle?” “Kate, please!” I can’t hide my exasperation. “Ana, don’t hold out on me, I’ve been waiting for this day for nearly four years.” “I’ll see you this evening.” I hang up. That is going to be one difficult square to circle. She’s so tenacious, and she wants to know – in detail, and I can’t tell her because I’ve signed a – what was it called? NDA.A fucking relationship NDA. I still can't fucking believe it. I think E.L. James honestly does define kink as "abuse, but with signatures."
Also, it's supposed to be "a difficult circle to square."
“I’ve never had vanilla sex before. There’s a lot to be said for it. But then, maybe it’s because it’s with you.” He runs his thumb across my lower lip. I inhale sharply. Vanilla sex?Oh no. I think this is a beginning of a trend people warned me about. The thing where rough BDSM sex is for people you don't give a shit about, and true love is expressed via soft sweet sex. I fucking hate that. I hate it for so many reasons. The simplest and most personal one is that last Wednesday, the man I dearly love Saran-Wrapped me to a chair for sexy purposes, and I don't much like any implications that doing this means we aren't really in love.
Also, every time Thud StoneBang goes on about how he's never done this before and she's so special and the first one to really change him, I think about a car dealer saying that he's giving this discount just for you and he isn't even allowed to sell this cheap but he's making an exception just this once.
Oh! Turning to face him, I’m shocked to find he has his erection firmly in his grasp. My mouth drops open. “I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I’m very attached to this.”I think that crossed over from kinky erotica to Larry the Cable Guy routine somewhere in the middle.
I'd play along, though. "Hi penis. How are you doing today? Lovely, lovely. Yeah, I know, it has been unseasonably warm this month, but without the humidity! I agree, it's very nice. So, have you seen any movies lately?"
“Feel it, baby,” Christian whispers in my ear and very gently grazes my earlobe with his teeth. “Feel it for me.”He keeps calling her "baby" and saying cheesy shit during sex, and it cracks me up every time. It's like those male porn stars who think that to keep it sexy they have to monotone out "oh yeah. oh yeah. oh yeah. oh yeah." the whole time they're having sex.
Moving down, I push him into my mouth. He groans again. Ha! My inner goddess is thrilled. I can do this. I can fuck him with my mouth.Yep, this is going to be a recurring thing. She's committed to this "inner goddess" business. Because, you see, if Ana were thrilled to be giving a blowjob, she would be some sort of dirty slut, but it's not her fault! It's the goddess! How can you blame her?
I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey flavor popsicle.Oh ewww.
I suck harder and harder, pushing him deeper and deeper, swirling my tongue round and round. Hmm… I had no idea giving pleasure could be such a turn-on, watching him writhe subtly with carnal longing. My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.
“Anastasia, I’m going to come in your mouth,” his breathy tone is warning. “If you don’t want me to, stop now.” He flexes his hips again[...] His hands are really gripping my hair.So how the hell is she going to stop? He's clearly a subscriber to the "dribbling a basketball on your crotch" school of receiving blowjobs, and extricating yourself from that (especially if you don't feel able/safe to forcibly shove the guy away, which Ana surely doesn't) isn't easy.
“Say yes,” he whispers fervently. I frown, not understanding. “To what?” “Yes to our arrangement. To being mine. Please, Ana,” [...time passes during which Ana does not say "yes"...] he binds my wrists together with his tie, knotting it firmly. His eyes are bright with wild excitement. He tugs at the binding. It’s secure. Some boy scout he must have been to learn these knots.So consensual, you guys! He totally asked for consent! Not that he got it, but, you know, picky details.
His eyes burn into mine, and I’m breathless from their intensity. This is not a man I want to cross… ever.That's... not actually a good thing in a partner, especially not one who's been fairly clear that saying "no" to him about anything ever is crossing him.
“Tit for tat is not my usual style, Miss Steele,” he whispers as he gently blows up and down me. “But you’ve pleased me today, and you should be rewarded.”He says this, and then he goes down on her for like 30 seconds before fucking her for another 30 seconds and coming. She looooves it all, of course, so who am I to criticize, but... my inner deity is not impressed.
Oh, and I don't have anything funny to say about it (although it is kind of funny in its own right), but just to keep you up to speed, the chapter ends with Buck MudThump's mother walking in.
Something I'm starting to realize about this book is that it isn't BDSM erotica. Not exactly. BDSM in this book plays the role that "we can't possibly, he's a prince and I'm a humble serving maid!" plays in other romances. It's the barrier to the romance. It's what the heroine has to overcome in her lover. She's enduring it to reach her reward of a vanilla relationship.
There's some "having your cake and eating it too" here, because the BDSM is clearly there for readers to wank to. I don't think we're meant to be totally repulsed by all those overheated descriptions of sweaty bondage sex. But I guess we're supposed to be, like, turned on by it but also know that it isn't right and mustn't go on? We're supposed to cluck our tongues reproachfully and feel bad for the poor girl while we wank?
I don't know, and I don't like it. If I'm going to enjoy BDSM, call me a pervert who's actually violating the status quo rather than sternly upholding it while still getting my rocks off--but I'd rather enjoy BDSM.