tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post2475949201146777840..comments2024-03-22T05:55:48.117-04:00Comments on The Pervocracy: Using my vagina.Cliff Pervocracyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-1901374600023573932014-04-07T03:02:30.447-04:002014-04-07T03:02:30.447-04:00I have no idea why I'm here or what this is ab...I have no idea why I'm here or what this is about.<br /><br />Carry on, folks.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13119209368220630311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-40426260351918698212012-10-27T23:48:17.523-04:002012-10-27T23:48:17.523-04:00Thanks for this post. I too disassociate my vagina...Thanks for this post. I too disassociate my vagina at times and feel a bit like I've failed sex. But sex is hard sometimes. Sometimes I have amazing orgasms and everything is rainbows and explosions, sometimes it's incredibly painful and we stop, and other times it's uncomfortable but the choice to just "endure" is better for both of us emotionally. <br /><br />I'm mildly allergic to semen and most lubes, so even the most pleasurable sex can end with burning. I'm lucky to have a partner who is understanding, but he's still disappointed that I frequently don't want sex. I "reject" him frequently enough that if I'm not going to end up in pain I'm happy to have non orgasm sex. Sometimes while reading previous posts on this blog I've felt like I've failed at finding equal footing. Thanks again. I like what you write.Emblynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-50112916392640696772012-10-23T21:34:28.404-04:002012-10-23T21:34:28.404-04:00Oh, that's because this is my personal project...Oh, that's because this is my personal project. He has his own personal projects. ;)Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-59782214665606297422012-10-23T21:33:24.077-04:002012-10-23T21:33:24.077-04:00I'm actually more surprised that the vibrator-...I'm actually more surprised that the vibrator-gizmo doesn't have more attachments. I distinctly recall Rowdy being exceedingly engineer-y at the Awkward Army meetup. He lit up like a Christmas tree when someone said the word 'robot'. Are you sure he isn't scheming to build some sort of exoskeleton for the thing and surprise you with it for your birthday or something?Circehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13216411646067783215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-4448416216197774422012-10-20T17:50:55.071-04:002012-10-20T17:50:55.071-04:00I AM DELETING YOU FOR TROLLING. >:(
(No, you&...I AM DELETING YOU FOR TROLLING. >:(<br /><br />(No, you're completely right, and the answer is that it was my first non-kit project and I made a lot of mistakes. Honestly, the whole thing's been taken apart now and remade into a theremin. Which works, so HAH.<br /><br />The theremin, btw, is based on http://www.popsci.com/diy/article/2008-04/build-pocket-theremin-cheap but modified so that it can output to either a speaker or a 1/4 inch RCA jack.)<br /><br />(The IC is a dual op amp, and the transistors are BJTs. But now I'm just embarrassed because I know the whole project was a bad idea. I still have a hacked-up vibrator for other purposes, though!)Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-86083326845278837792012-10-20T14:11:22.593-04:002012-10-20T14:11:22.593-04:00oh god I just read your blog,
http://sexylittleid...oh god I just read your blog,<br /><br />http://sexylittleideas.com/lets-go-get-raped/<br /><br />*barfs*<br /><br />You are the last person that should be giving sex advice.....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-43405313876580960242012-10-19T19:00:14.296-04:002012-10-19T19:00:14.296-04:00I want a modular hacked vibrator! Brilliant. I want a modular hacked vibrator! Brilliant. nixnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-5946627045379318912012-10-16T08:08:28.584-04:002012-10-16T08:08:28.584-04:00Totally this for me too. "There are a lot of ...Totally this for me too. "There are a lot of things that sex does in my life, but almost none of it is the causing of physical pleasure to my body for the purpose of achieving orgasm."<br /><br />I've never had an orgasm from intercourse. There is nothing inside my vagina that provides a pleasure that would ever lead to an orgasm. So if I'm having intercourse, it's to feel close to my man and to give him pleasure. If I want an orgasm I use my vibrator. I can do it with my hand but it takes far too long and gives a very unsatisfying release.t1klishhttp://t1klish.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-5973946984522101182012-10-16T05:10:09.772-04:002012-10-16T05:10:09.772-04:00I understood that part and even acknowledged it he...I understood that part and even acknowledged it here: <i>" If y'all talk about it and decide you do want to just ride it out and such, as you stated? That's fine and totally cool. It's even fine if you just decide that on your own, so long as it's not for the sake of avoiding conflict."</i><br /><br />I take issue with the idea of communicating with one's partner <i>being</i> cause for worry that it may incite conflict. Like I said, if one wants to ride out that discomfort of their own will and such, fine, it's their call. Saying or implying otherwise would be policing a person's actions regarding their own body, which isn't good at all. But if it's only for the sake of avoiding the conflict that pausing to talk to one's partner apparently may cause, I worry about that a lot.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-62974399300356055972012-10-15T00:17:08.821-04:002012-10-15T00:17:08.821-04:00I could be wrong, but I think part of the point is...I could be wrong, but I think part of the point is that although the best thing is to keep communicating with your partner, we don't always have to censure people for making a not-so-great decision, because, you know, it's their body. It's just vastly preferable that they *know* it's a not-so-great decision, and that they are making it of their own free will, and don't feel coerced into making that decision.<br /><br />And like Cliff said, if someone chooses to endure discomfort to avoid conflict, that is information they should be paying close attention to.estyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09637977695345935291noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-43445524011511214782012-10-14T07:41:48.700-04:002012-10-14T07:41:48.700-04:00I dunno, this entry has me a little concerned. Par...I dunno, this entry has me a little concerned. Part of what I cherish about my relationships is that, even if they're doing the exact same thing that got me off the last few times, if it's just... not jiving for me, or causing me discomfort, or whatever, I can pause and go, "this isn't really working this time, can we talk/try something else/take a break?" <br /><br /><i>"It's down to "risk conflict but avoid discomfort" or "avoid conflict but endure discomfort." Well, when you put it like that... it's not necessarily a foregone conclusion, but at least I know what choice I'm making."</i><br /><br />The idea that communicating that something doesn't necessarily work or feel nice is causing conflict is one thing in particular that makes this entry a little uncomfortable for me. The idea that just voicing my feelings is conflict would make me question how well my partner and I are able to communicate. Obviously I don't know your relationship and can only speak to my personal experiences.<br /><br /><i>"It'd be facile to say "so when you notice yourself doing this, it's bad and you should stop everything.""</i><br /><br />Yes and no, I think. I don't think it's facile to notice something possibly problematic (not necessarily bad, just not the intended outcome) is happening, and want to stop and at least re-evaluate the situation. 'Stop everything' doesn't have to mean 'welp the whole night/sex experience is over' so much as, 'we need to communicate a little and find something that works, or maybe even just call it a draw and have cuddletimes' or something similar.<br /><br /><i>"It's hard to say "this doesn't feel good to me" to a partner. When you've done all your consent and communication just right--when the sex is exactly what you asked for and your partner is trying hard to do it just the way you like--it's tough to turn around and go "er... it's not working." You feel like you're being infuriatingly fussy."</i><br /><br />Having been in this position for the first six years of my sex life, yeah. It's really hard. However, I feel the best thing to do is just keep <i>communicating</i> with your partner. If they're trying hard to do it just the way you like, and they want to please you, generally they want to <i>please</i> you, not have you enduring some discomfort instead for the sake of not causing conflict. I had a lot of guilt for a long time because my first partner, I found out after we broke up, hadn't been communicating their needs to me, and as a result didn't fully enjoy at least a few of the times we had sex. Having been on both the giving and receiving end of this (getting me off can be a fussy process for certain, and my first partner had similar things going on), I just really feel like it's better to be able to at <i>least</i> talk about this stuff first. If y'all talk about it and decide you do want to just ride it out and such, as you stated? That's fine and totally cool. It's even fine if you just decide that on your own, so long as it's not for the sake of avoiding conflict. That phrase just strikes me as really problematic and brings back a lot of uncomfortable memories that make me worry.<br /><br />I dunno. It just concerns me because when I was first introduced to this blog, I powered through it in about a day and loved every article, and really love your site overall. So seeing this kind of subject matter was very startling. I do agree with parts of it, but those have already been addressed in other comments and it puzzled me that no one else commenting so far seemed to notice this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-21517806012907282662012-10-12T22:16:51.679-04:002012-10-12T22:16:51.679-04:00You make it sound like there is only one way to ha...You make it sound like there is only one way to have sex :P My friend, there are many more ways than this. If this is how you do it, and it works for you that's great...but I don't know if all guys will want to be lumped into the same category! For example, this scenario actually rarely happens for my partner and I. Just sayin :PLainnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-36517634413355914092012-10-12T16:50:20.416-04:002012-10-12T16:50:20.416-04:00I think guys do this all the time. We have to disa...I think guys do this all the time. We have to disassociate ourselves from our cherished member so that we can fuck long enough to get the woman thoroughly and completely off. Once she is entirely exhausted with pleasure, we have to then quickly associate ourselves back with our penises and cum before it begins to 'outright hurt' her.<br /><br />We have only that small window of time, before which would be premature and after which would be either boring or just outright painful for her. It's an art ;)SexyLittleIdeashttp://sexylittleideas.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-27872880624106740372012-10-12T12:03:06.444-04:002012-10-12T12:03:06.444-04:00Everyone is different, but for me, kink-play *defi...Everyone is different, but for me, kink-play *definitely* helps keep me present in the moment. If you can feel safe being tied up & blindfolded with someone you trust, that might possibly be an amazing experience. I find it very hard for my mind to wander or start chattering at me about something unrelated, at least not for more than a second or so, during BDSM. Explore safely!<br /><br />best,<br />flightlessflightlesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08025242932831691518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-2853540440965131792012-10-11T06:54:40.956-04:002012-10-11T06:54:40.956-04:00I just had a funny thought -- occasionally it'...I just had a funny thought -- occasionally it's the opposite, you know? It's like, I want to do something else but my body gets really turned on and just really wants sex. So you wind up pushing away all the other things you were thinking about or enjoying, to go and deal with your horny body, lol. It's a different sort of disconnect...where I am enjoying the sensations on one level, while on another I'm still thinking about those other things I want/have to do. Does anyone else do this??Lainnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-14569313369351978242012-10-11T06:38:20.205-04:002012-10-11T06:38:20.205-04:00I don't think anyone ever "really wants&q...I don't think anyone ever "really wants" to have unpleasurable sex, it would still be something you endure for your partner's sake. I think the distinctions to be made are 1. do you endure it out of love or a sense of compulsion? and 2. Is your partner trying to make it pleasurable for you and it just isn't working or do they not care at all?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-64238584610691671602012-10-11T06:36:54.303-04:002012-10-11T06:36:54.303-04:00I do this all the time...and I wouldn't call i...I do this all the time...and I wouldn't call it "pleasureless." It's not entirely pleasureless. It's not mindblowingly awesome, but I still enjoy pleasing my partner. But everyone, myself included, has their limits. Some days I'm just not up for going there. I think it's very important that you and your partner can be in a place where you can say "this just isn't working for me" without fear of negative consequences, other than "Let's try something else" or "Let's just watch a movie instead?" I don't think it should be a matter of conflict vs. comfort....because if you're worried about causing conflict because you're in pain...there is a whooooole other issue going on there.Lainnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-85932943878938814762012-10-11T02:22:59.628-04:002012-10-11T02:22:59.628-04:00Okay, this is going to make feeding our cat a hell...Okay, this is going to make feeding our cat a hell of a lot more amusing from now on.Celestehttp://www.runningnekkid.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-53192576144939327542012-10-11T01:23:30.932-04:002012-10-11T01:23:30.932-04:00Pretty much what blowjobs are to me. I don't p...Pretty much what blowjobs are to me. I don't personally like it; I find it uncomfortable, but I give them freely nonetheless because my partner likes them, and I like to please him.Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12841071061212052350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-12965727751693134522012-10-10T01:10:53.865-04:002012-10-10T01:10:53.865-04:00Well, that might just be the whole dialectic proce...Well, that might just be the whole dialectic process -- thesis, antithesis, synthesis. But damn, for something so simple it's almost impossible to catch yourself before you engage in it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-5336273571171542872012-10-09T20:23:22.520-04:002012-10-09T20:23:22.520-04:00What is the number of that IC there? Are those tra...What is the number of that IC there? Are those transistors BJTs or MOSFETs? Or are they some other 3-pin semiconductor device entirely?<br /><br />First rule of breadboarding is to use multi-colored wire and to cut them as short as possible. Monochrome spaghetti loops are pure evil, and are the nastiest things to debug even on a small circuit like this. It becomes an abomination straight from hell when you start adding more components.<br /><br />I want to know more. You can't just post a hacky DIY vibe project like this and then hide the juiciest details. Mostly because now I'm curious about why it doesn't work and I want to try and fix it. :DJiggy-Ninjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13151378267155458664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-20999603632350003792012-10-09T14:10:10.233-04:002012-10-09T14:10:10.233-04:00This is the part where I blush and admit it curren...This is the part where I blush and admit it currently doesn't do what I want, so... no details until it works.<br /><br />It's <i>supposed</i> to run the vibrator but shut off if the volume in the microphone goes above a certain threshhold. But it doesn't do that very well right now. :(Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-26331117633948664372012-10-09T03:19:00.228-04:002012-10-09T03:19:00.228-04:00Liking to see a partner orgasm, choosing to contin...Liking to see a partner orgasm, choosing to continue as part of D/s dynamic, getting something emotional out of the act, I get those reasons for having "bad" sex in an otherwise good/healthy/non-abusive relationship, but that sentence about "avoiding conflict but enduring discomfort" (what kind of "conflict" are we talking about here?) has seriously pushed my trigger buttons and made me want to cry. Need to close the window now...Kaynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-70912387408443290762012-10-08T23:59:21.755-04:002012-10-08T23:59:21.755-04:00Dissociation is kind of a double-edged sword. I u...Dissociation is kind of a double-edged sword. I used it for years to get through painful medical crap and similar, and unfortunately, the trauma WILL come back up to bite you. It just comes up months or years later over something innocuous and then you don't know WHY you're suddenly freaking out about brushing your teeth or whatever.<br /><br />My advice would be on stuff like those pelvic exams would be NOT to rely on dissociation. It's just a delay, not a solution.<br /><br />--RoganLBThttp://lb-lee.deviantart.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-56660151480015279762012-10-08T22:54:17.338-04:002012-10-08T22:54:17.338-04:00This resonated with me in similar ways to what Lar...This resonated with me in similar ways to what Larabee discussed above. I have an extremely difficult time (read: can almost never achieve) orgasming with partners, and I think this issue of mind-vagina/mind-body disconnect is a huge part of it. I formed habits of disconnecting as a kid when dealing with a lot of somewhat traumatic medical stuff, and I've never found a way to reliably or consistently reconnect during sex. I can orgasm through masturbation, sometimes, but it's not through a mind-vagina connection as much as even more of a disconnect, in which both are doing sort of unrelated pleasurable things.<br /><br />With partners, it's a dilema because it's not always an issue of my mind disconnecting from the sex, which I still find engaging and fulfilling on the level of enjoying pleasing a partner, and a way of being close to a partner. But I think I disconnect my mind's participation in the interaction from my body's participation, if that makes sense? And it can sometimes be really hard to keep my mind participating in the interaction past the mind-vagina disconnect.<br /><br />It's actually been a very difficult thing for me in relating to the pro-erotic discourse, because there are a lot of things that sex does in my life, but almost none of it is 'the causing of physical pleasure to my body for the purpose of achieving orgasm', even when that is how a partner would like to focus our sex. It's been extremely difficult for me to figure out the balance and the communication of 'I enjoy sex, but not in the way most people do', or to figure out when it is healthy to try to overcome that disconnect and when it turns into self-shaming and only adds stress to my relationships.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com