tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post2851861219050562455..comments2024-03-22T05:55:48.117-04:00Comments on The Pervocracy: Hard to get.Cliff Pervocracyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-2432911243805480302010-11-12T01:26:36.086-05:002010-11-12T01:26:36.086-05:00Holly, I totally feel you on the distinction betwe...Holly, I totally feel you on the distinction between courtship and pursuit. But I would argue that pursuit has it's place -- and it's place is not in the courtship phase. Pursuit/playing hard-to-get tends to be better later on in a relationship and it's best initiated in a knowing, nudge-nudge-wink-wink kind of way to inject a bit of intrigue into the relationship. <br /><br />Other than that, I really don't see the point in setting myself up as a passive object to be pursued and obtained. I have been put in this position though. Not because I was being hard to get, but because I'm independent and don't like having people keep tabs on me. Unfortunately, some guys/girls (I'm bi) take this as "hard to get" on my part and either a) prematurely assume that this means I'm into them or b) call me a cocktease/clittease.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-11690372249088971712009-08-18T14:33:30.134-04:002009-08-18T14:33:30.134-04:00As a straight guy, my default role is as pursuer/i...As a straight guy, my default role is as pursuer/initiator, and although I've become better at it, I doubt I'll ever enjoy it. (Sexually aggressive women FTW.)<br /><br />This post brought up two thoughts: <br />* Because my default position is pursuer, it can be a pain to convince a woman that I'm not pursuing her (e.g., I'm just being friendly). This can put me in the ookie position of being rejected when I didn't want anything.<br />* Once I've pursued someone and been rejected, does that mean I should never try again (i.e., after a suitable amount of time and under different circumstances)? Being perceived as clueless, insensitive, or threatening sucks, especially when we might otherwise have been friends -- but missing out on a potential relationship might be worse.Brunohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11545875839887483257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-51699125685147510872009-08-17T21:38:31.787-04:002009-08-17T21:38:31.787-04:00LabRat - About fear of rejection: rejection is ind...LabRat - About fear of rejection: rejection is indeed a pretty shitty feeling, and it seems shitty to deliberately inflict it on someone you like. I feel kinda bad turning down guys I <i>don't</i> like, I don't think I'd want to inflict it on someone I was starting to care about.<br /><br />Black Pearl - Ideally I don't want anyone to pursue anyone. It's possibly easier for a woman to <i>initiate</i> a relationship with a man, but pursue, I dunno.<br /><br />I was thinking today about what would happen if I wanted to date a man and he told me no, even in a playful/teasing way--I'd almost certainly take him at his word and never try again.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-35049170196443427512009-08-17T21:18:23.715-04:002009-08-17T21:18:23.715-04:00What a touchy topic. Once upon a time I loved bei...What a touchy topic. Once upon a time I loved being the pursuer (technically I still am - always chasing hubby for some), I got quite a thrill out of being a woman who went after what she wanted. When I am being pursued, part of my is so complimented and tickled by the idea of being pursued it usually takes a minute before I realize it's not what I want. I do, however, think it is a thousand times easier for a woman to pursue than it is a man.Black Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15275143196886402451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-83544798820655874362009-08-17T19:42:28.607-04:002009-08-17T19:42:28.607-04:00I've been that guy.
I finally asked if she ...I've been that guy. <br /><br />I finally asked if she was manipulating me on purpose. She at least had the decency to answer that she was.<br /><br />Then she got really bent out of shape when I pointed out that her ex-boyfriend's ex-wife (who she despised, and I also knew) did exactly the same thing to me.<br /><br />She didn't find it at all amusing when I kept pointing out "Oh yeah, that's exactly what $other_girl does, too."<br /><br />I found this suitable revenge. :Dperlhaqrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01920117742664645165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-27250796559448279302009-08-17T15:18:59.236-04:002009-08-17T15:18:59.236-04:00I've always found the pursuit paradigm PROFOUN...I've always found the pursuit paradigm PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable. I am not prey and I don't like to be chased. I don't necessarily have the guts to be completely straightforward all the time, but that's basic human fear of rejection- I don't get off on the uncertainty, it makes me sick.LabRathttp://www.atomicnerds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-12122986315413090392009-08-17T15:09:22.890-04:002009-08-17T15:09:22.890-04:00Amen, Sister!Amen, Sister!Lawrencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11118782909100245547noreply@blogger.com