tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post5780520557313676620..comments2024-02-23T03:38:53.049-05:00Comments on The Pervocracy: From slutty to horny.Cliff Pervocracyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-72179861972668108062012-02-15T06:52:34.020-05:002012-02-15T06:52:34.020-05:00I'd try talking to her about it first. It sou...I'd try talking to her about it first. It sounds like you don't have a good level of communication set up, and that's a must. Unfortunately it also sounds like she wants you to "read her mind" (but I could be wrong.)<br /><br />There's no way of knowing if your wife is afraid to say something, ashamed, or aloof, or any number of other possibilities, without you talking with her first.<br /><br />Good communication is a must for any relationship, but especially a marriage/long-time partner. I wish you good luck and truly hope that things work out for you in that department. Once you get good communication going, many things in the relationship, not just sex, should hopefully become more clear and easier to handle. :-)<br /><br />---UkkyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-18822757858593608582012-01-21T03:57:08.613-05:002012-01-21T03:57:08.613-05:00When I have sex with my wife, I sometimes feel lik...When I have sex with my wife, I sometimes feel like she's just not that into it, which is a real buzz-kill for me. I need to know she really "wants" sex before I can have any pleasure myself. I love romance, oral, helping around the house, praising and worshiping her, so I hope that's a good start. What should I do if her words say one thing but her efforts say something slightly less sometimes?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-53650174123432720632012-01-17T02:12:53.705-05:002012-01-17T02:12:53.705-05:00Thank you everyone for your comments they have sto...Thank you everyone for your comments they have stopped me worrying. I have been feeling really horny for a while now, in fact it's all I can think about and I was starting to think there was something wrong with me. So thanks for putting my mind at ease xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-45362070911776947222012-01-14T08:12:55.278-05:002012-01-14T08:12:55.278-05:00Thank you so much for posting this, and I hope exa...Thank you so much for posting this, and I hope exams went well.<br /><br />I'm a 19 year old girl who over the years has been through all the stages- innocent, learning, slutty, everything. I've been there, done that and lost the t-shirt, and it never made sense to me why it was such a BAD thing that I was sleeping with someone I wasn't dating.<br /><br />I never got pregnant that way or an STD or bitten by a rabid duck or anything for what I've done. Nature gave women nerve endings down there and an ability to feel desire. It shouldn't be the shameful thing that it's portrayed as.Thraehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16614753327911798482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-4688948607970824442012-01-02T08:05:41.197-05:002012-01-02T08:05:41.197-05:00Another informative blog… Thank you for sharing it...Another informative blog… Thank you for sharing it… Best of luck for further endeavor too.Kamagra UKhttp://www.eusuperpharmacy.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-71603834018028336592012-01-01T13:14:52.147-05:002012-01-01T13:14:52.147-05:00An excellent post, although I do disagree with som...An excellent post, although I do disagree with some of the phrasing you used. You said: "if you've ever had that warm tickly feeling in your pants, you know exactly where a horny woman is coming from." This implies sexual arousal and horniness are the same thing, and in my experience they aren't. I know what sexual arousal feels like, but I also know I have never felt horny. They may occur at the same time for a lot of people but that doesn't mean they are the same thing.<br />Other than that little niggle, I thought it was a very well written post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-83701671595073287112012-01-01T13:13:42.572-05:002012-01-01T13:13:42.572-05:00An excellent post, although I do disagree with som...An excellent post, although I do disagree with some of the phrasing you used. You said: "if you've ever had that warm tickly feeling in your pants, you know exactly where a horny woman is coming from." This implies sexual arousal and horniness are the same thing, and in my experience they aren't. I know what sexual arousal feels like, but I also know I have never felt horny. They may occur at the same time for a lot of people but that doesn't mean they are the same thing.<br />Other than that little niggle, I thought it was a very well written post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-55442593304462294952011-12-23T14:24:45.974-05:002011-12-23T14:24:45.974-05:00i seriously love your blog. thank you thank you th...i seriously love your blog. thank you thank you thank you for sharing and speaking truth.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-40755345104387059382011-12-19T14:09:11.621-05:002011-12-19T14:09:11.621-05:00I guess in short, my point is that there's a v...I guess in short, my point is that there's a very sharp distinction between persuading someone to have sex and rape.Bennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-77965084432423854602011-12-19T07:14:09.556-05:002011-12-19T07:14:09.556-05:00"And now I see that when she really didn'..."And now I see that when she really didn't want it and said something like "not today" and so forth, I acted as "well she never really wants it, so today she just doesn't want it a little more, big deal, I already feel selfish, might as well have some sex with it" and pressed on (i didn't physically force her, just kept on with my advances, like caressing her) and usually I had my way and we had sex. <br />I hate to break this to you, but if she said no and you just kept going until you had your way... that's not something that could have been rape. That's straight-up rape. It's not violent rape, but when someone says "no" and you say by your actions "your refusal meant nothing to me" and then you have sex--that's rape.<br /><br />I don't mean this in the sense of "so you're a horrible person and should go to jail" because all I know is that you were a horrible person and you're not going to jail so that's a couple of moot points there. I mean that in the sense of take this stuff seriously in the future. Just because you didn't use force or threats doesn't mean this was a just-silly-ol-me, fuzzy-relationship-problems thing. It's a big deal--like, a woman who feels differently could call the cops over it big deal. Keep that in mind the next time you're having sex and just go to sleep unless you get a "yes please.""<br /><br />I'm not sure I see it this way. I realize that there are a lot of emotions and stigmas that come with sex, and making analogies to other things can often upset people, but I think that here it's necessary in order to take the shock out of the discussion process. For instance, if someone invites you out to the park and you say "no", but they say "But there will be ice cream" and you say "no", they continue "and we could play catch", and you say "no", and they continue "and you can play with the puppies" and so forth until you want to go, are they forcing you? <br /><br />Now, if someone says no to sex and one starts rubbing their crotch, that's of course an entirely different circumstance. But if they say "no" and the other party continues holding hands or caressing their palm until they turn to start making out, I don't think it's much different than the park example. Of course with the requirement that no desire for the hand holding to stop is expressed, implied, or felt.Bennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-41112983724984315742011-12-17T19:20:32.907-05:002011-12-17T19:20:32.907-05:00Okay, commenters who can't tell the difference...Okay, commenters who can't tell the difference between "I want to decide who I sleep with" and "I want to rape men" are officially not invited to play in this post any more.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-30850773254403867542011-12-17T15:32:03.221-05:002011-12-17T15:32:03.221-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Tamennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-45253067214972613072011-12-14T00:33:01.092-05:002011-12-14T00:33:01.092-05:00This is getting better over the years. Slowly.
I...<em>This is getting better over the years. Slowly.</em><br /><br />I've been thinking about this some more, and I'm convinced it's gotten much worse in the U.S. just recently. Maybe we've turned a corner and it's gotten better again, but from what I've been hearing recently from women in their twenties, their upbringing was in some crucial respects much <em>less</em> sex-positive than mine in the 1970s (with all the myriad faults that the 1970s undoubtedly had).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-39924998230280546292011-12-13T21:29:03.825-05:002011-12-13T21:29:03.825-05:00"...you can only choose from among those who ..."...you can only choose from among those who volunteer..."<br /><br />Er, no. She can also choose to ask someone who hasn't volunteered and see if they're willing. Somehow I don't think Holly would have a lot of trouble with that concept.<br /><br />(different anonymous, obvs)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-22635296736200569372011-12-13T15:25:18.905-05:002011-12-13T15:25:18.905-05:00Oh, and the thing in the photo is a particularly.....Oh, and the thing in the photo is a particularly... yonic... winter squash.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-69110339837693847922011-12-13T15:23:26.632-05:002011-12-13T15:23:26.632-05:00Usually I just delete this kind of troll comments,...Usually I just delete this kind of troll comments, but this one is kind of hilarious.<br /><br />Are you seriously suggesting I want to rape people, or are you saying that it's unfair I don't let men rape people? Or some muddled combination?Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-84556295171062063322011-12-13T14:34:15.393-05:002011-12-13T14:34:15.393-05:00"...I want to choose who does it, and how......."...I want to choose who does it, and how...."<br /><br />Sorry, you can only choose from among those who volunteer. Or are you that entitled?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-27743461097984812402011-12-11T05:25:56.074-05:002011-12-11T05:25:56.074-05:00Good luck with the exams and what the hell is that...Good luck with the exams and what the hell is that in the photo?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-58612264179238394732011-12-11T01:51:12.142-05:002011-12-11T01:51:12.142-05:00Macha: You're close. I find it very telling ...Macha: You're close. I find it very telling that while men may not want to sleep with "slutty" girls, it's usually other women who get most vicious about it. The same as feminism's history of problems with sex workers and male-targeted sex toys.<br /><br />Sometimes the commodity model of sex benefits women (e.g: women who expect a man to "earn it", or who use a supposed scarcity of pussy as a bargaining chip). In these cases, you have people who lash out at those who flood the market. Sometimes - and I don't think I need to give any examples for regular readers - it hurts them. I guess my issue is how often the focus is on symptoms, with too few people looking at the built-in tradeoffs and underlying mechanics.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-33080596005247416652011-12-11T00:43:27.067-05:002011-12-11T00:43:27.067-05:00Third possibility: I have rare but consensual sex ...Third possibility: I have rare but consensual sex with sexist women who do not label their desire "horniness" or communicate it verbally because such labelling and communication are intrinsically male, or at least masculine, in their estimation. They communicate consent just fine, however.Eurosabranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-15715468400240459112011-12-11T00:35:02.147-05:002011-12-11T00:35:02.147-05:00I feel like the whole concept of "slut" ...I feel like the whole concept of "slut" comes from the commoditization of female sexuality, that it's a product, which a woman gives away, trades for love and/or security, or sells for money. Also intrinsic to the concept of a slut is the idea that this commodity (her sexuality) has a rightful owner, whether it's her hypothetical future husband or just the people she truly loves, or with whom she is at least interested in having a long-term relationship (a more liberal idea, though still restrictive and implying ownership). Under this worldview, a woman is a slut if she "gives" her sexuality to someone other than the rightful owner, even if she only does it once or twice, but especially if she does it a lot.Carla Schmidt Hollowayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12947846629735463824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-79385526342709574632011-12-10T09:54:34.452-05:002011-12-10T09:54:34.452-05:00@Bethany The Martian
Couple of problems with that...@Bethany The Martian<br /><br />Couple of problems with that. Sure, Bella wants Wardo's disco stick, but they don't actively discuss sex, in Eclipse she just goes for it. And then he has to stop her to protect her 'virtue'. All of their interaction in this scene comes across as imminent rape (Bella's end, trying to get Wardo to have sex against his will) or various types of abuse (Wardo's end, trying to force her into marriage, telling her she has to accept his monetary gifts, shutting down all avenues of discussion involving sex and only allowing what he wants). <br />End result? A clustermuck of Cosmo's 'don't communicate, just take' attitude, and the idea that female desire should be controlled by men so the wimmins retain their virtue and therefore their 'worth'. <br />I would rather have better, more equal displays of female horniness than this. <br /><br />Sorry if this is a slightly delayed reaction to the original comment; I was having a hard time getting beyond "what? no, terrible example."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-47741163352802165412011-12-10T09:51:27.057-05:002011-12-10T09:51:27.057-05:00Eurosabra - If you think a woman who wants to have...Eurosabra - If you think a woman who wants to have sex is a "unicorn," then it follows that either celibacy or rape are your only options.<br /><br />So I'm really disturbed that you aren't voluntarily celibate.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-817356370442896902011-12-10T09:33:51.891-05:002011-12-10T09:33:51.891-05:00@Anon 12:57: Both C.S. Lewis AND Holly are saying...@Anon 12:57: Both C.S. Lewis AND Holly are saying, "A lot of people judge women based on their outer appearance more than on their actual personalities and desires, now cut that out." I don't see how you're missing that point.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15116805850923318070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-38074217515279050612011-12-10T04:17:28.006-05:002011-12-10T04:17:28.006-05:00Since I am apparently searching out unicorns, it i...Since I am apparently searching out unicorns, it is nice that someone who appears to know assures me that unicorns exist. Did you have a falling out with Bruno?Eurosabranoreply@blogger.com