tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post1349627330252733566..comments2024-03-22T05:55:48.117-04:00Comments on The Pervocracy: Anatomy of a Scene.Cliff Pervocracyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-87471112145870692022011-10-02T01:15:23.581-04:002011-10-02T01:15:23.581-04:00What an awesome description of that head space... ...What an awesome description of that head space... wonderful!Momma Jorjehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17736034293320117257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-84884157061774142952011-05-19T17:37:14.002-04:002011-05-19T17:37:14.002-04:00Holly, there's a lot of very sad journalism in...Holly, there's a lot of very sad journalism in the UK regarding superinjunctions and kinky people in the public eye. Lots of celebs outed as 'perverts' online. Also, this week, the father of a murdered girl who was declared by the press as someone who collects kinky porn and how this lead to the police to hold him as a suspect. Disheartening since they already caught the killer.<br /><br />Oh and by the way, wow, it gets way worse on that site: http://www.xojane.com/sports/real-sports-fans-dont-wear-pink <br /><br />Real women don't blame rape on clothing. no?<br /><br />Right, I *am* going to stop reading that now.....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-22487328883760067942011-05-17T01:54:17.450-04:002011-05-17T01:54:17.450-04:00Holly: My first, long, well-thought-out comment go...Holly: My first, long, well-thought-out comment got eaten by blogger. Grr.<br /><br />Re: porn, I don't know, I mean--I don't want to hold written porn to different standards than filmed porn, you know? There's a lot of "BDSM porn" out there which is a dramatization of fantasy, in which we know all the actors have consented to what they're doing, but the characters in the video are not consenting.<br /><br />I personally don't tag my stuff "BDSM" if there isn't an actual BDSM relationship involved (though I also write about people who are bad at communication and trust--I have a "Bad BDSM Etiquette" tag I reflexively put on anything involving Dr. House, for example) but I don't mind people writing BDSM fantasies and tagging them as such. What I <em>do</em> mind is people writing as though they're talking about real BDSM relationships and then having their characters say things like, "I think it's good you're training your submissive to not use safewords!" AUGHARGHLBLARGHLAUUUUUGH!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-71051750181502567992011-05-16T11:49:03.604-04:002011-05-16T11:49:03.604-04:00". I have a great back for punching, broad an...". I have a great back for punching, broad and strong, with big meaty muscles over my shoulderblades."<br /><br />Love it, you don't get this kind of sexiness appreciated in Cosmo. <br /><br />Thanks for the feedback on the article. There's a lot of other stuff on that site that I could talk abou but it's quicker to spang myself in the face with a shovel.<br /><br />Must learn to avoid things I know will irritate....hm.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-34146971147876080232011-05-16T11:33:02.869-04:002011-05-16T11:33:02.869-04:00On the fanfiction stuff - I wouldn't put a sta...On the fanfiction stuff - I wouldn't put a stamp on a particular physical activity as "BDSM" or "not BDSM"--what I would say is that I don't want to read it and don't want to have it lumped in my lifestyle unless:<br /><br />A) All participants enjoyed it (on some level if not in the immediate physical way)<br /><br />and <br /><br />B) All participants consented to it, in an objectively visible way. "This was what Jack Sparrow had always wanted" isn't consent, because his partner can't see that; "'This is what I always wanted, Will,' Jack said," is actual visible consent.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-41566475356574429972011-05-16T11:23:30.739-04:002011-05-16T11:23:30.739-04:00Anon - I think joking about and trivializing one&#...Anon - I think joking about and trivializing one's own sexual assault can be the prerogative of the survivor, but it doesn't give you licence to be Rape Jokes Ahoy in general. Especially since the punchline of most rape jokes isn't "rape! so stupid and pointless!" but "rape! that's a jolly good prank to play on a lady!"<br /><br />So, I think she has a point in terms of survivors coping, but I don't think transferring that attitude to society at large is a good idea at all.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-16330592624677860812011-05-16T11:08:01.511-04:002011-05-16T11:08:01.511-04:00I love this and I'm very jealous since my orga...I love this and I'm very jealous since my orgasms are always 'rather nice'.<br /><br />Holly, have you read this article? I would love to know what you make of it. It left a very bad taste in my mouth, especially the argument about The Ultimate Bad Thing<br />http://www.xojane.com/ihtm/i-was-raped-and-i-joke-about-itAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-70558989720886173962011-05-16T02:16:24.864-04:002011-05-16T02:16:24.864-04:00Ice: Have you seen Kink Bingo? Sure, many people w...Ice: Have you seen <a href="http://kink-bingo.dreamwidth.org/" rel="nofollow">Kink Bingo?</a> Sure, many people write non-con fantasy porn, but there are also lots and lots of explorations of BDSM relationships and kinks.<br /><br />And I honestly do hold porn to a different standard than real-life play. In porn, we can have 100% pure knowledge of consent and intention and how people feel about things. We can have terrible things happen to people and it doesn't matter because they're fictional. I do like reading about people in realistic BDSM relationships, but sometimes I also want to read gratuitous slavefic, y'know?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-50767453996534860842011-05-15T20:32:16.341-04:002011-05-15T20:32:16.341-04:00Re: Ice
Might I offer hobbitdragon's work? H...Re: Ice<br /><br />Might I offer <a href="http://hobbitdragon.livejournal.com/" rel="nofollow">hobbitdragon's</a> work? He is very much into writing consensual BDSM, and though not much is fanfiction (and he clearly labels when the consent is less than utterly completely clear)<br /><br />Because yes. I have a massive rape/noncon/dubcon DO NOT WANT response, and I do NOT want it in my fic if it's labeled something else.<br /><br />--RoganLBThttp://baaingtree.deviantart.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-1387097891828609192011-05-15T19:02:47.017-04:002011-05-15T19:02:47.017-04:00And blergh, should've just written this the fi...And blergh, should've just written this the first time. So there, short version is short:<br /><br /><b>IF IT HAS RAPE IT IS NOT BDSM IS THAT SO HARD OH MY GOD?!</b><br /><br />Or should I add blingy red text next time? With sparklies?<br /><br />...I can't believe I actually had to say that in a comment of Holly's blog. I... feel violated. *sigh*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-16976724550997883992011-05-15T18:50:46.038-04:002011-05-15T18:50:46.038-04:00FFF (heh), I don't want to pull out the my dad...FFF (heh), I don't want to pull out the my dad is stronger than your dad card (nor take over such a beautiful post with a fanfic rant), but seriously? The number of years I've been in fandom (yes, ff.net, AFF, dA, LJ, Y!gallery, recently AO3; which is a ray of hope in the abyss; and so on...), and I've yet to run into a BDSM story done right. Okay, I'm lying. I have... like... twice (and one had Garak, so... yeah). It ain't dubcon if the consent is missing completely or, god forbid, is explained by, "oh, but you see, he was enjoying it! He had an orgasm, didn't he?" And if you need an A/N to explain why exactly this was so totals consensual, while a 5k word body of your fic failed to to that... well, that ain't BDSM done right, now is it?<br /><br />If you want examples, oh I can provide examples. There's a good reason why I've yet to finish off a story in the past 2 years. It all boils down to pretty much being crept up 20% in.<br /><br />And this is where I'm gonna give my way overdue thanks to Holly for her BDSM primer series. I've been told so many times by these shining examples of BDSM writers how there's something wrong with me for telling them what they're writing is a fucking rape, because they live in their 24/7 relationships, and they're so totally like that exactly, and where's my experience? For, well, teaching me why exactly people enjoy it and why it's fun. And why people trying to turn the BDSM crowd into the... other are so fucking wrong.<br /><br />There. :PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-66493226390827962692011-05-15T14:33:41.862-04:002011-05-15T14:33:41.862-04:00"It feels like my back is coming."
Wow,..."It feels like my back is coming."<br /><br /><i>Wow, I know <b>exactly</b> what you're saying!</i>Carla Schmidt Hollowayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12947846629735463824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-2835140688955858572011-05-15T12:03:54.202-04:002011-05-15T12:03:54.202-04:00in defense of the fandom writers, the specific wor...in defense of the fandom writers, the specific words that MAKE UP the acronym BDSM are a pretty good description of what goes on in their fanfiction. <br /><br />The only difference is whether or not it's consensual, but OFTEN, if it's not, it's TAGGED as such. Look for tags like Dubcon or Noncon. The authors KNOW they're writing rape and abuse, and they're often writing it for people who WANT to read about rape and abuse.<br /><br />I guess in a perfect world there would be tags like BDSM Consent in addition to BDSM Dubcon, but most of the fanfiction sites I've been on (mostly fanfiction, livejournal, and deviantart) are USUALLY operating under a consensual unless stated otherwise paradigm. <br /><br />That's just my own personal experience with it.FanFictionFannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-48196995440072349112011-05-15T05:15:08.359-04:002011-05-15T05:15:08.359-04:00I want to print this out and stamp it to the foreh...I want to print this out and stamp it to the foreheads of every. batshit. stupid. fandom. writer. who just lazily puts BDSM tag on everything and their dogs, thinking it's the ultimate scapegoat for rape and abuse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-54174319758103898152011-05-15T01:08:43.189-04:002011-05-15T01:08:43.189-04:00Wow. Awesome. Wow.Wow. Awesome. Wow.Niohttp://niofaps.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-76917114747328661092011-05-14T20:34:40.684-04:002011-05-14T20:34:40.684-04:00After reading this I realized that if anyone can r...After reading this I realized that if anyone can relate to it then they should completely understand the fight game.............Respectful violence.Tit for Tathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09454132514796693591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-29548694841072742672011-05-14T15:29:38.554-04:002011-05-14T15:29:38.554-04:00You're doing a wonderful job fighting some pre...You're doing a wonderful job fighting some pretty damaging expectations, too. I mean, this is obviously an important text for people, who think BDSM is a disease, to prove, how it's all planned and consensual and sane, but it's also important for us newbies to see how waiting, getting tired or distracted and other possibly ambigous feelings can all be entwined even in an excellent scene/play. And it sounds wonderful. You guys are so lucky.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-26780131114702752842011-05-14T15:06:08.726-04:002011-05-14T15:06:08.726-04:00I love your description of subspace and it really ...I love your description of subspace and it really makes me long to feel it. Pain makes me all happy and giggly, but it doesn't cause that same change that you describe. I wonder if it'll happen more as I explore BDSM more.Ozymandiashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08410555827569922830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-47589338326689313042011-05-14T12:31:10.711-04:002011-05-14T12:31:10.711-04:00This is sweet and adorable and it made me very hap...This is sweet and adorable and it made me very happy to read it. :)Aaronnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-46946176018455010762011-05-14T10:44:31.134-04:002011-05-14T10:44:31.134-04:00That was so sweet. :)
Still more proof that ever...That was so sweet. :)<br /><br />Still more proof that everyone is different. I can take heavy pain, in the very few instances where I want to be flogged, but biting sends me over the edge with rage. (Got bit pretty bad in a fight as a kid, inspires "gouge out eyes to make it stop" instincts now.) Punching is good, though. :)perlhaqrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01920117742664645165noreply@blogger.com