tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post5279716276576985285..comments2024-03-22T05:55:48.117-04:00Comments on The Pervocracy: Hitting.Cliff Pervocracyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-65757608422123116142009-07-08T14:52:22.493-04:002009-07-08T14:52:22.493-04:00Holly-
I do agree with you for the most part (God...Holly-<br /><br />I do agree with you for the most part (God knows how many women I've met who have the 'Lara Croft did it and I took a five hour self-defense class so I can TOTALLY KICK ASS' attitude) but I do think a lot of it is socialization. A lot of girls are never trained out of hitting guys (because it's 'cute'), while most guys are trained not to hit girls. Add that to a size difference, and most men won't physically defend themselves against a woman, which leaves some women with a very unrealistic notion of how a real fight might play out. Not that the size difference has anything to do with whether or not you should smack someone in anger, because, dude, <i>grownups don't hit.</i> Didn't we learn this one in pre-school?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-45112436646163029432009-07-08T11:54:19.116-04:002009-07-08T11:54:19.116-04:00DG - I love that link! Although it is a little su...DG - I love that link! Although it is a little suffused with tough guys going "this guy is so wrong... I know the <i>real</i> way you kill someone with your little finger."<br /><br />Keith - I'm talking about hitting in anger--maybe silly play-anger rather than fury, but anger nonetheless. That's different from hitting in flirtation. I don't think it's necessary in every situation to get explicit verbal permission for every step you take, not if you're a reasonable judge of body language and context. But hitting in even faux anger is hitting when you <i>know</i> they don't want it, which is very different from merely having shitty intuition.<br /><br />William - I've never seen poor physical impulse control with female tops (then again I've never really played with any), but I have met quite a few who forgot that they weren't <i>everybody's</i> top and were socially insufferable as a result. Maybe you're Godly Queen Mistress to wormboy over there, but to me you're just some person and I'm not amused by your "I have descended from on high to grace the mortals" attitude, lady.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-26539488298599732052009-07-08T09:44:34.390-04:002009-07-08T09:44:34.390-04:00I'm a big guy. I'm over six feet, and urh...I'm a big guy. I'm over six feet, and urhm, urhm pounds. I learned long ago that I needed to control my anger and temper, and that raising a hand in anger would get me into trouble. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" <br /><br />And I really have very little patience for people who strike in anger. We have big frontal lobes for a reason, and as an adult if you cannot outwit your child or pet, you gotta problem. If you start slapping your partner (without their consent) you gotta bigger problem.<br /><br />That's one of the problems I have run into with women who identify as tops. They have never been socialized in the use of assertive/aggressive behaviour, and it seems to me have a problem with turning it off when it is inappropriate. Perhaps the influence of team sports on female socialization will make a difference. I don't know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-84855903712448403902009-07-07T23:38:23.023-04:002009-07-07T23:38:23.023-04:00I do think things can get a bit fuzzy around the c...I do think things can get a bit fuzzy around the concept of "Implied Consent". For example I once slapped a girl on the ass as part the flirtation ritual. She never actually told me "It's OK to slap my ass" but given that A)We had been routinely engaged in tickle fights at this point B)It was Halloween and she was dressed in a school girl outfit that she had asked for my help with I figured it would be ok. <br /><br />Since we later ended up naked in bed together I think the ass slapping was OK. However had she gotten upset and yelled at me I would have felt really bad and apologized.Keithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11986848693736290505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-91378116918281526042009-07-07T14:12:12.026-04:002009-07-07T14:12:12.026-04:00This reminds me of what my mum told me as child &q...This reminds me of what my mum told me as child "Keep your hands to yourself." <br /><br />Sadly enough , like Holly pointed out there are many adults who need to learn this.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-79202476300356124822009-07-07T13:45:26.487-04:002009-07-07T13:45:26.487-04:00Also see Meditations on Violence by Rory Miller fo...Also see <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Violence-Comparison-Martial-Training/dp/1594391181/" rel="nofollow">Meditations on Violence</a> by Rory Miller for a wake up call on how real fights are different than everything you've every told yourself. It was an uncomfortable eye opener for me.<br /><br />He also has a <a href="http://chirontraining.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">blog.</a>aczarnowskinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-69045084866261974922009-07-07T13:35:36.721-04:002009-07-07T13:35:36.721-04:00See Bullshido for a million and one examples of sm...See <a href="http://www.bullshido.net" rel="nofollow">Bullshido</a> for a million and one examples of smarmy guys who make a lot of money teaching children and small women that they can destroy the average adult male attacker, and they never have to get hit or kicked or cranked while they learn to do it.Donhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15824445546892392815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-46102655991531922662009-07-07T13:13:50.714-04:002009-07-07T13:13:50.714-04:00I once seriously saw it suggested in some guy'...I once seriously saw it suggested in some guy's article on "how to deal with women" (not even PUA stuff, more "how not to be drug around by the nose by hot chicks") that the guy spank a girl when she did something he didn't like. Much like your dom-hit example.<br /><br />Yeah. I was creeped. Moreso by the knowledge that he wouldn't be giving the advice if it hadn't *worked for him* and more than once.<br /><br />As to the girl-hitty thing- I don't regard myself as harmless, therefore it's never even occurred to me to strike out during an argument. In my head force means business means any disagreement turned physical may lead to weapons, which means I never take it to that place.LabRathttp://www.atomicnerds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-68056176579706064712009-07-07T11:45:19.080-04:002009-07-07T11:45:19.080-04:00Aebhel - I dunno. I certainly have met girls with...Aebhel - I dunno. I certainly have met girls with that attitude (and been one of them myself--something BDSM has actually cured me of, because that's how I found out that when a 220-pound man wants to hold me down, he's going to hold me down), but I don't think they get it from thwacking their boyfriends.<br /><br />I think they get it from self-defense classes, unfortunately, and from movies. I've taken self-defense classes and they certainly teach important skills but they can also create a sort of false confidence where you think "hey, no problem, elbow strike, knee strike, fist to the face and I can beat anyone," not fully realizing just how hard and fast someone in a real fight will be beating back. You practice escapes from someone who holds you loosely and lets go when they're supposed to, and you don't understand how utterly fucked you can feel when someone doesn't want to let you go.<br /><br />And in movies, of course, there are a ton of hand-to-hand fights where bad guys go down at a tap. There are a <i>lot</i> of scenes where, if you pay attention, the stuntmen are taking huge falls after getting barely brushed by the tip of a 100-pound heroine's toe. And then they're totally unconscious and stay down.<br /><br />Real fights are <i>hard</i>, they hurt, and reality doesn't know that you're supposed to be the good guy. I wish self-defense teachers, at least, communicated this better.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-84227258502260193202009-07-07T07:37:46.651-04:002009-07-07T07:37:46.651-04:00Oh, God, that first one bugs me so bad. Both for t...Oh, God, that first one bugs me so bad. Both for the reasons you mentioned, and also for another one--a lot of guys will let a girl get away with that, and a lot of small, untrained girls end up with the notion that they could look after themselves in a fistfight when they <i>really couldn't.</i><br /><br />I've got two (large) younger brothers with martial arts training who never learned to play nice. Which means that whenever we spar, I end up pretty bruised, but I've also got a fairly good notion of where I stand in terms of defending myself. I've met girls who are 5'5" and skinnier than me who think they could take down the average guy just because no guy has ever actually defended himself against them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-58199011395897229632009-07-07T05:08:31.129-04:002009-07-07T05:08:31.129-04:00Being smacked on the ass during sex-play excites m...Being smacked on the ass during sex-play excites me to no end but when it happens out of context of that it hurts. <br />I guess it can be hard to understand how someone can beg for it in one situation and get really pissed and grumpy the next but it's a matter of state of mind. <br />At least for me.Rockteanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-30185899547056378452009-07-07T03:32:47.860-04:002009-07-07T03:32:47.860-04:00Well I can't get away for a couple of weeks bu...Well I can't get away for a couple of weeks but it sounds like fun!<br /><br /> What I am saying is that a FIRM pat on the ass is NOT violence. A spanking is not violence if it is consensual or your juvenile offspring. Hitting me because your pissed is a violent act. No matter how hard or where. I learned that violence begets violence. It does with me. Every time. Violence is non-consensual, Its done to you not with you.Vinniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07690640519341004501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-37692939296680241472009-07-07T02:57:57.522-04:002009-07-07T02:57:57.522-04:00Vinnie - Of course! Hell, I would (and have) go a...Vinnie - Of course! Hell, I would (and have) go a lot farther than that with permission--with permission you can cut me with knives and piss on my face.<br /><br />Without permission, you've got no business touching me at all.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-71207677447248775532009-07-07T02:51:28.610-04:002009-07-07T02:51:28.610-04:00Ok, I agree...except:smack on the butt(light..no ...Ok, I agree...except:smack on the butt(light..no pain, no discomfort) with a lingering grope because, well its just a nice ass.(WITH PERMISSION) <br />Hitting someone in anger or frustration is never a good thing regardless of age or gender.Vinniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07690640519341004501noreply@blogger.com