tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post6071842871593205106..comments2024-03-22T05:55:48.117-04:00Comments on The Pervocracy: Stamina.Cliff Pervocracyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-59746327877656674622010-10-13T02:28:33.552-04:002010-10-13T02:28:33.552-04:00Just to sum it up:
If you make a generally wrong s...Just to sum it up:<br />If you make a generally wrong statement "guys out there aren't suited to polyamory... because they... hate the idea of those chicks having other guys," and have it questioned, then calling the questioner a bad name somehow justifies making a generally wrong statement?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-45414005848968993122010-10-12T20:09:24.810-04:002010-10-12T20:09:24.810-04:00Let's all just agree that Anon is a douchebag,...Let's all just agree that Anon is a douchebag, and go have a beer and talk about Mythbusters.elmo iscariothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14710846725911318970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-26149945804569902662010-10-12T20:04:17.013-04:002010-10-12T20:04:17.013-04:00@LabRat, yeaaaaah. I kinda didn't want to fee...@LabRat, yeaaaaah. I kinda didn't want to feed the troll so I didn't say anything but since we've already given him/her a nice meal anyway: there's nothing wrong with a relationship being as completely unequal as one wants provided all the partners are consenting. The issue is that the inequality shouldn't be based on the fact that one member of the relationship is a jealous, immature, squabbling, emotional "chick" and the other is a strong, mature, virile man.<br /><br />It seems incredibly obvious to me that that's what's off-putting about anonymous's statement. Let's not all pretend to be so dense as to not see that.<br /><br />--AndyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-81186937002265960882010-10-12T18:46:05.724-04:002010-10-12T18:46:05.724-04:00Given this branch of the comment thread started ov...Given this branch of the comment thread started over the statement "I can't even imagine why disapproval of chicks having other guys makes a man not suited for polyamory." after "The thing is, most men are just natural about juggling two or more chicks, the problem in such arrangements lies in how the ladies concerned manage to handle each other's presence.", I don't think it's that the objection is to "I don't want to see anyone but you, but I'm happy for you if you see others" can be a totally legitimate sentiment and a valid relationship choice if it's made freely." rather than the rancid double standard.LabRathttp://www.atomicnerds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-19834110723941859932010-10-12T16:44:48.860-04:002010-10-12T16:44:48.860-04:00I think that "I don't want to see anyone ...I think that "I don't want to see anyone but you, but I'm happy for you if you see others" can be a totally legitimate sentiment and a valid relationship choice if it's made freely.Cliff Pervocracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080142422250604406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-57424770954266367532010-10-12T10:21:20.508-04:002010-10-12T10:21:20.508-04:00Just to be clear, I don't care what two consen...Just to be clear, I don't care what two consenting adults choose to do, whether it seems fair to the rest of the world or not. I just wouldn't call a one-sided "open" relationship poly. <br /><br />The word "polyamory" means "many loves" - and doesn't specify that only one person in a relationship is allowed to have them. And all the websites and diatribes and how-tos I've read on opening up a relationship ask me to picture an idealized world where love is bountiful and nobody ever feels jealous. The idea of someone saying "I'm gonna fuck other people but if you do the same I'll freak out" doesn't seem to fit with this vibe. YMMV.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-79482389408544936162010-10-12T06:33:56.648-04:002010-10-12T06:33:56.648-04:00And the point I'm getting at is that polyamory...And the point I'm getting at is that <a href="http://tacit.livejournal.com/333842.html" rel="nofollow">polyamory is complicated</a>. I say there's plenty of room for a consensual polyamorous relationship in which partner A sleeps around but hates "sharing" partner B, as long as partner B is cool with it. <br /><br />Just like with kink, this may sometimes be and sometimes not be an arrangement both partners are equally gung-ho about; I'm not sure that's for us to judge.elmo iscariothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14710846725911318970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-57070315230916056902010-10-11T19:48:17.719-04:002010-10-11T19:48:17.719-04:00Elmo: you'll notice I put quotes around the wo...Elmo: you'll notice I put quotes around the word "agreement" and said that such an arrangement is <i>generally</i> thought of as abusive/controlling/etc. <br /><br />I've known one couple where one person wanted to fuck other people and the other was like "Oh, you go ahead. I don't feel like following suit, though." I've known far <i>more</i> couples, however, where one party basically said "Either you let me fuck other people or I leave you" and the other person grudgingly consented. I think the latter is a hell of a lot more common than the former.<br /><br />The point I was getting at is that if anyone in the arrangement hates "sharing" their partner, it can't rightfully be called polyamory - and therefore Anonymous' assertions are wrong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-2301094487875813452010-10-11T17:41:51.838-04:002010-10-11T17:41:51.838-04:00...and discussed the role of Jesuits in the Cathol...<i>...and discussed the role of Jesuits in the Catholic Church with two chicks, dudebro.</i> <br /><br />In fairness, that's pretty hot, too. <br /><br /><i>Having an "agreement" that <b>you'll</b> see other people while your partner is with you and you alone is generally called "being a controlling, abusive asshole". </i> <br /><br />Strongest possible disagree. It may be that <i>some</i>, or even <i>most</i> mono/poly relationships involve some amount of "you should deal with your insecurities about sharing but I won't deal with mine". But assuming that <i>all</i> of them are like that is wildly unfair. <br /><br />I can consent to be in a mono relationship with a poly person just as freely and adult-ly as I can consent to be a submissive in a relationship. Maybe being the one who can't sleep around isn't my greatest preference. But maybe being the one who gets fucked in the ass after cleaning the bathroom isn't, either. If either of those is part of a relationship I decide I want, there needn't be any judgment about my partner's controlling-abusive-assholeness.elmo iscariothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14710846725911318970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-71181831191818853052010-10-11T15:00:41.410-04:002010-10-11T15:00:41.410-04:00I would lay my bet that our nonymouse is not so mu...I would lay my bet that our nonymouse is not so much an advocate of polyamory as under the impression that humans are actually gorillas and "natural polyamory" means men control multiple women.LabRathttp://www.atomicnerds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-54312300440564379152010-10-11T13:00:09.788-04:002010-10-11T13:00:09.788-04:00Because being poly means having an agreement that ...Because being poly means having an agreement that <i>both</i> of you will see other people. Having an "agreement" that <i>you'll</i> see other people while your partner is with you and you alone is generally called "being a controlling, abusive asshole".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-64161916504812309712010-10-11T01:33:41.180-04:002010-10-11T01:33:41.180-04:00"I can't even imagine why disapproval of ..."I can't even imagine why disapproval of chicks having other guys makes a man not suited for polyamory."<br /><br />Hypocrisy?Flutterbynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-10774146622631856062010-10-10T22:37:55.423-04:002010-10-10T22:37:55.423-04:00I can't even imagine why disapproval of chicks...I can't even imagine why disapproval of chicks having other guys makes a man not suited for polyamory.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-12731661307666763972010-10-10T21:36:25.605-04:002010-10-10T21:36:25.605-04:00I would disagree with the idea that most men can &...I would disagree with the idea that most men can "just naturally balance two chicks". Plenty of guys out there aren't suited to polyamory, whether it's because they don't <i>want</i> two chicks at once, they like the idea of two chicks in theory but feel guilty or weird about it in practice, or they like the idea of two chicks but hate the idea of those chicks having other guys.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-27129371811480543222010-10-10T13:21:15.382-04:002010-10-10T13:21:15.382-04:00Also, in my experience, poly itself is a lot of wo...Also, in my experience, poly itself is a lot of work: for every partner you have, you ought to spend time getting to know them and learning to love them, and though SOME of this can be done with another partner present, there are other conversations that seem to demand face time. This effectively means that instead of dating two people simultaneously, you're dating two different people CONSECUTIVELY -- or maybe I'm just doing it wrong.<br /><br />I'm not knocking polyamory, it's wonderful and liberating -- but in my experience it comes with a price tag.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2770580070906411828.post-27764048878650514512010-10-09T23:30:22.990-04:002010-10-09T23:30:22.990-04:00I think that makes you both chicks true polies. Th...I think that makes you both chicks true polies. The thing is, most men are just natural about juggling two or more chicks, the problem in such arrangements lies in how the ladies concerned manage to handle each other's presence.<br />And again, he would be read a true poly should he manage to go on a like trip with you and some other of your special friends. That is hout it slices, dudebro.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com