Dear Sweet Little Innocent.

My beloved but very conventional friend Julie: "So why did you and Alan break up, anyway?"

Me (after some hemming, hawwing, ineffectual "it's personal"-ing, and heavy sighing): "Well, Alan's very vanilla, and I'm not, and when he found out about just how unvanilla I was, he decided it wasn't going to work out."

Julie: "Ohhh, I know what you mean."

She does?

Julie: "You're not vanilla at all! You're like totally wacky! You're my wild and crazy silly friend, and that's not vanilla!"

Oh.