Chef.

The last time I had sex it was a one-night stand with a chef with pierced nipples and a charming resemblance to a younger Anthony Bourdain. He fucked me in installments; sixty seconds missionary, sixty seconds doggy, sixty seconds cowgirl, sixty seconds sideways, and by this method managed to last a heroically long time while making me feel very thoroughly fucked. Finally he made me kneel, stood over me, and made me jerk him off all over my face. He moaned louder when he was coming than any guy I've ever heard. (Well, than any guy I've heard coming from his cock. Guys who enjoy getting fucked up the ass make amazing noises.)

Then he bent down and slurped it all up. He licked my face clean and then he licked his lips.

Then, like a true gentleman, he handed me a towel.