The worst part of being single right now, the one thing that cannot be replaced by any combination of emotionally intimate friends and physically intimate pick-ups:
Backrubs.
Not light little playful/seductive backrubs, either. Backrubs that dig in and knead and work rock-hard muscles into putty. Backrubs that hurt they're so badly needed. Backrubs that involve fists and elbows. Backrubs that last as long as they need to. (I think maybe some people can get these from their friends? I dunno, I really don't touch my friends much. I wasn't hugged enough as a child.)
Fortunately, unlike most boyfriend services, this can be purchased. I've many times felt waffly about buying a massage and never actually done it, because I get all weird about buying a luxury, I guess. But it's not that expensive, and I can certainly afford just one, and I think it would do absolute wonders for my back and my brain.
Backrubs are something I deeply cherish, and something I sorely miss when away from partner/between partners, and getting someone to do it HARD is difficult. I've actually had the "Hurt Me!" "No, that's KINK, I can't do THAT" dialogue. American women can't touch their male friends because women can't initiate touch, and can't get back rubs because of trust issues in a rape culture, because we only use sensual touch (as opposed to meet&greet hugs) with people we're gonna bang. Backrub = bang, so no backrub, and this gets set as a meme in college because people really DO use backrubs as an easy, pre-sex "in". (Ask straight-out for sex and get turned down enough and you see the appeal, especially in a culture/age group where men almost always HAVE to initiate.)
ReplyDeleteHard to get laid? It's even harder to find someone who'll let me put my hand at the small of her back and rub. (Because then she HAS to fick me or I might rape her.)
Arrgh. Die amerikanische Kultur. (Not in the "die, Bart die!" sense.
I used to be the Backrub king. Until a bunch of asshole women claimed I was forcefully, assertively, coming on to them. Actually I am capable of, and sometimes inclined toward, that behavior. In their case though, It were just a reward for extreme exertions, (not sexual) in a good cause.
ReplyDeleteI think it was because I didn't come on to them.
Any Time you find your self in Spokane... Holly, I'll cheerfully render you immobile for two hours with one of my backrubs......
Eurosabra: You are right, In college and High School, it were easier to find a crisco party than a backrub...
John B - Gosh, Spokane's not even far away from here... gosh...
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