Going to work without makeup: 49% say it's a DO, 51% say it's a DON'T.
Where do these people work? Because if you're a face-to-face sales rep or something, then maybe you have to. But I'd guess more than 49% of people work in jobs that don't require the "businessy" look--either no one cares what you look like (IT tech, maintenance worker) or the professional standard isn't heels-and-hose based (nurse, police officer). And then, well, what the heck? Wear makeup if it makes you happy for some perverse reason, and if it doesn't... don't. You don't owe it to the world to emphasize your sexual characteristics when you're just at fuckin' work.
Makeup is a nice little option to add to your appearance if you wish. But women who feel "naked without it" give me the heebie jeebies. Do you really look that bad?
(Side note: these women's magazines always seem to assume all their readers have a particular kind of job. Something office-based, upper-middle-class, business-casual, not heavily dependent on a technical skill, nine to five, and heavy on the office politics. It's almost like they think we're all... hmm... magazine editors.)
How to tell him to get better clothes: ...You lie next to your peacefully sleeping boyfriend. After making sure he's down for the count, you sneak over to his dresser, shove a couple of particularly awful items in a bag and hurry out the door.
NO. Do not do this. Do not fucking destroy someone else's property because it offends your aesthetics. It's not cute, it's not mischievous, it's not funny, and it's not something you fucking do. Maybe he hates some of the things you own, you know that? Would you like your stuff to just disappear with a tee-hee and a "now we can get you things I like"? I don't fucking think so.
How to talk to the sexiest guy at the party: ..."Are you a model? Or did I have sex with you in college?"
How to make the sexiest guy at the party awkwardly mutter "uh, nope, uh, don't think so" while backing away so fast he may trip over something.
Don't show [a date] photos featuring your most attractive friends.
I agree that subjecting a date to a wacky cameraphone slideshow of people he doesn't know isn't a great move. But the "most attractive" part is creepy. Am I really supposed to be so damn insecure that I need to shield him from the sight of women prettier than me? Shit, he's going to leave your control in a couple hours, and then he might look at ANYONE! OH NOES! BLIND HIM!
Hey, it's OK! ...to think the fireworks were a wee bit excessive. Ooh, aah, how many small countries could that have fed?
Well aren't you just a bundle of fun.
(And this in a magazine promoting $172 jean shorts and a $268 skirt.)
Yes, This Woman is a "Mail-Order Bride"
So wow. Wow. There's a whole article on a woman from the Ukraine who met a much older and richer man on a marriage brokerage website and moved to the US to marry him, and he spent about $20,000 on "the process" and "expenses." But they really love each other and she's very independent and very happy, it was just an unconventional way to meet.
Which may be true. But nonetheless the article is kind of unsettling. She talks about going to the US and getting citizenship in a lot more detail than actually liking or having a relationship with the guy; her opinion of him seems more like "well, given the choices, not unacceptable" than "my love." And the "his story" sidebar reads as seriously evasive--he had a couple bad dates and then he just spontaneously decided to fly in a Ukranian lady on a whim, you know, like anyone might. What a wacky lark that worked out so well!
Hell, I believe them when they say their relationship isn't domineering and they're both happy. But it's still creepy.
Maybe it's just the photo. The photo is priceless. (And not just because of Evil Pop Art Mickey.)
CC put it best: "Oh, I've seen this photo before. In nursing home ads."
Yeah.
(I'm not talking about age so much as the intersection of the worshipful/befuddled upward gaze and the "isn't he cute? almost like a person!" downward gaze. Although at least the nurse is actually looking at her elderly client.)
Put on a 2 percent salicylic acid lotion from the drugstore. ...Or dissolve an aspirin tablet (salicylic acid in solid form) in a bit of water to form a paste, apply to the breakout and rinse after three minutes.
CHEMISTRY FAIL.
This is how the orgasm fairy tale goes: you meet Prince Charming, and the very first time, he knows exactly how your body works. There's some kissing, some foreplay, some moaning and, after maybe 10 minutes of intercourse, bam--a shattering climax for two. Angels may even sing. If your sex life fits this description, kudos. If not, this story is for you.
Welp, guess this story isn't for me then! Ciao!
But women who feel "naked without it" give me the heebie jeebies. Do you really look that bad?
ReplyDeleteWell, according to my mother (Who can't stand that I'm not a fan of makeup) more than 1/2 the women are uglier than average.
Seriously. "Most women look worse than average." Me, still in my teens, "Uh, that's really not probable..." "No, really!" "So... Most women look bad without makeup. More than 1/2 of the population." "Yes!"
UJ - Then what difference is makeup going to make, really? It's not a mask. If 50%+ of women are woofers (not remotely true!) then is a woofer with slightly redder lips and darker eyes that much of an improvement?
ReplyDeleteI refuse to wear makeup because I don't like feeling disappointed when I look in the mirror and see my bare face. I guess for some women makeup is a confidence boost; it just makes me hyper-aware of my own flaws. Same with girly clothes. I can go around for days in carpenter jeans and baggy t-shirts without thinking a single bad thing about my looks, but stick me in pretty clothes and I feel like a troll. Girl stuff makes me self-conscious.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, re: the fireworks versus jeans thing, if I'm spending $250 for something I don't need, it had damn well better contain explosives.
Aebhel - Srsly. I always feel like I'm in drag when I wear girly stuff.
ReplyDeletePartly it's lack of practice; I probably look like inept drag when I have smeary asymmetrical makeup and I'm staggering in heels. But partly it's also because girly stuff, at least to my mind, highlights every way in which my body differs from The Ideal Woman.
In carpenter pants I can just be a person and there's a lot of flexibility in the expectations there; in a fancy dress I must be a Woman and there are rules about that sort of thing.
This magazine sounds even weirder than the usual Cosmo.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't know, maybe I'm weird, but I can't stand wearing pants. Skirts are so much more freeing.
I like make up, but I can live without it.
However, I also do a fair share of heavy duty work. I just prefer it in long, loose skirts with a T-shirt.
In carpenter pants I can just be a person and there's a lot of flexibility in the expectations there; in a fancy dress I must be a Woman and there are rules about that sort of thing.
It doesn't make me feel that I have to succumb to a set of rules, and it doesn't make me feel I have to prove myself to the men that I associate with. I just enjoy dressing girly.
I can't wear the usual makeup to work because of flamability questions (some cosmetics don't react well to pure oxygen and 25,000 feet up during an emergency ain't the place to find out!). So I gave it up. At 0200, the patients don't really care how well my eyeliner matches my uniform anyway, they want to know if I can get them and the plane to Big City Airport fast and in one piece.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't make me feel that I have to succumb to a set of rules, and it doesn't make me feel I have to prove myself to the men that I associate with. I just enjoy dressing girly.
ReplyDeleteI actually identify with Holly on this one, as I feel the same way. It's not so much that dressing and acting feminine are really that restrictive as it is that it just doesn't come that naturally to some of us; it's like entering a new culture where we don't understand the rules and don't know any of the unspoken little details. I know I always feel like a pit bull in a room of poodles when in a traditionally feminine setting- not so much because of anything about the setting or the other woman as that we are just "culturally" different and it shows in infinite small ways.
Anon 1 - Hey, nothing against you if you like it, but it makes me uncomfy.
ReplyDeleteAnon 2 - Ohmigosh are you a flight nurse/medic? YOU HAVE THE COOLEST JOB IN THE WORLD! Also your jumpsuits are freakin' sexy.
Labrat - I kinda know what you mean. I'm fine with boys, men and women, but I never quite learned the world of girls.
In my opinion, most women look better *without* makeup. Since I doubt I'm alone in this, makeup isn't nearly as much of an attractiveness advantage as some people seem to think.
ReplyDeletePeople PAY for these magazines???????
ReplyDelete{{shakes head}}
(Shouldn't that be "Glamor" in the US?)
ReplyDeleteApparently not. I've seen Americans spell it "glamour" a lot and it made me curious. According to the most authoritative wikipedia, it's a Scots loanword so it doesn't have an "-or" ending like French/Latin loanwords. I still prefer "glamor" (which is apparently less common, but I don't believe that, since everyone loves regularity) myself though. The More You Know.
"Wear makeup if it makes you happy for some perverse reason, and if it doesn't... don't. You don't owe it to the world to emphasize your sexual characteristics when you're just at fuckin' work."
ReplyDeleteI feel really out of place here, but I strongly disagree with this attitude. I don't wear makeup to emphasize my "sexual characteristics," and I don't dress the way I do because I think my body is the most important thing in the world. I dress the way I do and wear the makeup I wear because that is just one of the many ways that I express myself.
I can understand the sentiment of "why must we conform to girlishness," but I don't think we need to completely turn the opposite direction and "only wear cargo pants because I'm not girly." I think women should be able to be in touch with all the wonderful possibilities and beauties of our bodies, as much as we should with our minds. This means anything from finding out that your boyfriend actually thinks you looks sweet in sweats or that your friends won't call you a slut for wearing heavier makeup, to finally being able to lift a certain weight or put your foot behind your head.
Whatever makes you happy, makes you happy. There's no need to classify women who like to wear flattering clothes or makeup as vapid or perverse. It's important to keep in mind that women in makeup are still people, with brains and emotions, and we can be just as incredibly intelligent as the next female engineer wearing cargo pants and a three-day-old t-shirt.
I apologize for writing such a long-winded comment, but this is something I feel very strongly about. The saying "don't judge a book by it's cover" goes both ways.