Evil Stick.

Does everyone in Kinkland know about Evil Sticks? I'm not sure if they're a New England thing, because I don't recall seeing any in Seattle. But they're an amazing invention. An evil stick is a tiny innocent-looking little stick made of space-age miracle-composite materials-science *mumble mumble*, and you line it up with someone's skin, bend it all the way back, let it snap out, and... wow. Stings like a motherfucker, stings even more a second later as the welt raises, and the spot will be tender all night. If these are good things to you... Evil Sticks are good things.

And they have a better effort-to-marks ratio than even hickies. I love having marks left on me, but I have the twin curses of strong skin and finicky pain tolerance, so it can be hard for me to pick up major bruises or welts by traditional methods. Evil Sticks are pretty much guaranteed to leave huge beautiful welts every time.

Also, I have heard that if one were to have one's labia Evil Sticked into severe tenderness, and one were then to get fucked like that, and that was one's thing, it would be fucking amazing. I'm not sure why I put that in "one"-ese because I totally mean "me, a little while back", and it was.

And they're only $12.00! Available here! This isn't an ad or anything, I'm just totally enthused. The only payment I received is on my inner thighs right now, and I didn't get that directly from the manufacturers.


It's a little tough to put on jeans in the morning though.