thats ok....my oldest kid keeps finding nice women for me to date.... . one side effect of honestly not caring who your kids were with as long as it was consenting
When I was younger, evidently, some of my mom's friends insinuated that they thougth I was gay. Mom bringing it up, I think, was just her way of asking me if I was or wasn't. The evidence was there. I never brought home a guy or ever really talked about any. I spent all my time with my "BFF". I didn't do "girly" things. I'm sure they did think I was gay.
The fact is 1) My "BFF" wasn't my girlfriend. She was my "wingman". 2) We spent so much time together because we were A) drinking or planning that weekends binge B) Planning binges of less legal substances or C) picking up Dudes. and 3) I didn't bring any of the guys home because...well...our "relationships" never tended to last more than a few hours. Given all that, had my mom known the truth, I'm sure she would have said "Couldn't you just be gay" LOL
Seriously, I'm a pretty open minded person. I have very liberal beliefs when it comes to someone's personal life. When it comes to my kids, I really don't care if they are gay or straight or date someone of a different race or make any number of decisions that may go against the societal "norm". If one of my kids comes to me and says "Mom, I'm gay", it's not a big deal. If everyone's happy and treating each other right, good for you.
Personally, I don't have a problem if they tell me their gay but, in reality, I hope their not. That has nothing to do with my beliefs or what I hope their future is. The only reason I say that is because a lot of people have very bigoted, closed-minded ideas about gay people and no parent wants their child to face those struggles. I want them to grow up to be who they are and love who they love and not be ridiculed or bashed or assaulted for their "choice". Hopefully, by the time my kids are old enough to start choosing partners, if they choose to have a same sex partner, they won't have to fear "coming out" to anyone and it'll just be accepted as who they are.
While I can accept it if one of my kids tells me they're gay, I still know what obstacles it could creat for them and no parent wants to see their child struggle more than is necessary. Maybe that's what your mom meant by "No parent wants that".
This post could be about me. My mom had asked me since middle school if I was a lesbian (I also had short hair and less-than-girly tastes), even though I dated guys (sometimes for a few months, even!) and she met all of them. Every time I would say no... because technically being bisexual isn't being a lesbian. Turns out she doesn't/didn't believe that bisexuals exist.
My cousin came out as bi on Facebook last summer. My mom just went on this tirade about how she must be a sex addict with really low standards (she'll sleep with anyone!) or some sort of pathetic attention whore because she's bi. Naturally, I defended my cousin and tried to explain what bisexuality really is about.
A week later, mom asks me out of the blue, "Are you bisexual?" Couldn't really get out of that one with half-truths since it was a direct question, so I said yes. Her reaction? She yelled at me for a) "lying to her for all these years" and b) causing drama when she was having a stressful month. Yeah, mom, I'm bad for lying and for telling the truth. I guess she wanted me to tell her sooner but that's really her own fault for not creating a supportive environment where I felt like I could.
Now I'm engaged to a man and she just pretends like nothing ever happened.
thats ok....my oldest kid keeps finding nice women for me to date....
ReplyDelete.
one side effect of honestly not caring who your kids were with as long as it was consenting
And here I thought you were gay. Huh. Must be the short forearms.
ReplyDeleteAnon - I'm assuming you're a woman? In which case that's completely adorable. (Actually, it kind of is in any case.)
ReplyDeleteJack - So mean. All the time. No reason. :(
Also, I think my long ring fingers are the culprits.
Would it be too passive-aggressive to admit your gayness, have a long talk about it, and then bring a guy to her house for dinner the next week?
ReplyDeleteLOVE Don's suggestion.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger, evidently, some of my mom's friends insinuated that they thougth I was gay. Mom bringing it up, I think, was just her way of asking me if I was or wasn't. The evidence was there. I never brought home a guy or ever really talked about any. I spent all my time with my "BFF". I didn't do "girly" things. I'm sure they did think I was gay.
The fact is 1) My "BFF" wasn't my girlfriend. She was my "wingman". 2) We spent so much time together because we were A) drinking or planning that weekends binge B) Planning binges of less legal substances or C) picking up Dudes. and 3) I didn't bring any of the guys home because...well...our "relationships" never tended to last more than a few hours. Given all that, had my mom known the truth, I'm sure she would have said "Couldn't you just be gay" LOL
Seriously, I'm a pretty open minded person. I have very liberal beliefs when it comes to someone's personal life. When it comes to my kids, I really don't care if they are gay or straight or date someone of a different race or make any number of decisions that may go against the societal "norm". If one of my kids comes to me and says "Mom, I'm gay", it's not a big deal. If everyone's happy and treating each other right, good for you.
Personally, I don't have a problem if they tell me their gay but, in reality, I hope their not. That has nothing to do with my beliefs or what I hope their future is. The only reason I say that is because a lot of people have very bigoted, closed-minded ideas about gay people and no parent wants their child to face those struggles. I want them to grow up to be who they are and love who they love and not be ridiculed or bashed or assaulted for their "choice". Hopefully, by the time my kids are old enough to start choosing partners, if they choose to have a same sex partner, they won't have to fear "coming out" to anyone and it'll just be accepted as who they are.
While I can accept it if one of my kids tells me they're gay, I still know what obstacles it could creat for them and no parent wants to see their child struggle more than is necessary. Maybe that's what your mom meant by "No parent wants that".
This post could be about me. My mom had asked me since middle school if I was a lesbian (I also had short hair and less-than-girly tastes), even though I dated guys (sometimes for a few months, even!) and she met all of them. Every time I would say no... because technically being bisexual isn't being a lesbian. Turns out she doesn't/didn't believe that bisexuals exist.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin came out as bi on Facebook last summer. My mom just went on this tirade about how she must be a sex addict with really low standards (she'll sleep with anyone!) or some sort of pathetic attention whore because she's bi. Naturally, I defended my cousin and tried to explain what bisexuality really is about.
A week later, mom asks me out of the blue, "Are you bisexual?" Couldn't really get out of that one with half-truths since it was a direct question, so I said yes. Her reaction? She yelled at me for a) "lying to her for all these years" and b) causing drama when she was having a stressful month. Yeah, mom, I'm bad for lying and for telling the truth. I guess she wanted me to tell her sooner but that's really her own fault for not creating a supportive environment where I felt like I could.
Now I'm engaged to a man and she just pretends like nothing ever happened.
Holly, that's fucked up! And funny.
ReplyDelete