Sign a first date is mediocre:
"So what do you do for a living? ...That's very interesting. What made you choose that career?"
Sign a first date is going either really well or really poorly:
"It's not my thing, but I think that as long as the animal is on top, bestiality porn is an ethical gray area."
I'm shocked that this has been up for half an hour without a screaming argument about animals and consent. I suggest a followup about abortion, circumcision, veganism, and declawing cats. ;)
ReplyDeleteSign a first date is going to be REALLY memorable: the date saying "It's not my thing, but I think that as long as the animal is on top, bestiality porn is an ethical gray area" is actually a horse.
ReplyDelete@ elmo: how about circumcising cats? I'd liketo see an opinion poll on that.
how about circumcising cats? I'd like to see an opinion poll on that.
ReplyDeleteBut a cat's penis is almost entirely inside its abdomen, most of the time. In order to approximate the amount of penis cut off in a human circumcision, you'd have to use a very small stick of dynamite to blow out a CRATER. Am I overthinking this? I have a feeling I'm overthinking this.
My own personal "mediocre date" signal would be "So why are you still single?" (seriously, what kind of stupid question is that? The moment a guy asks this, I know we're not on the same wavelength). My "awesome date" signal...I dunno, probably the guy saying "I want you inside me."
Elmo - My first thought was "hey, kiddy porn doesn't become okay if the kid is on top," but you know, I also don't eat kids.
ReplyDeleteI agree.
ReplyDeleteAlthough it probably says something about me that I'm more comfortable discussing bizarre sexual practices than the weather.
...I'm more comfortable discussing bizarre sexual practices than the weather.
ReplyDeleteI was planning a first date with an internet person once and he said he'd rather go for drinks than just coffee. His reasoning was that if he were tipsy, he'd be brave enough to ask me bolder, more sexual questions instead of the usual tame getting-to-know-you stuff.
For whatever reason, I've never needed alcohol's help to get past the "So, are you from around here, or...?" level of conversation with someone. If I want to know sexual things about a guy, I'll go ahead and ask them. This difference in conversational styles wasn't the main reason I ended up calling it off with that guy, but it was a factor.
Holly, FWIW, that's exactly my take on it. If I can morally justify killing and eating animals, it's pretty silly to take issue with "exploitation" that the critter seems pretty clearly to be enjoying, on the grounds that I can't be completely certain it's consenting.
ReplyDeleteCounterarguments have to boil down to some variation of "sex is _different_". I haven't personally found any particularly compelling, but there's quite a variety of takes on it out there.
aebhel said Although it probably says something about me that I'm more comfortable discussing bizarre sexual practices than the weather.
ReplyDeleteThat's probably just because the weather doesn't mean anything much to you. When it had a dramatic effect on whether you'd eat and what, you'd have all kinds of things to say about what it meant for the movement patterns of deer or how many acorns you'd be able to gather, or later in history, what it meant for the barley. Now it affects your electricity bill a bit.
EgregiousCharles:
ReplyDeleteI was really speaking in a more general sense. I'm socially awkward enough that I tend to take my cues from whoever I'm talking to unless it's someone I know very well, and I have a lot of trouble finding common ground with most people. Small talk makes me uncomfortable because I'm opinionated and reasonably intelligent, but I really can't pull off charming and witty. I don't know how to talk unless I have something to say.
My "awesome date" signal...I dunno, probably the guy saying "I want you inside me."
ReplyDeleteAwesome.
aehbel - Small talk makes me uncomfortable because I'm opinionated and reasonably intelligent, but I really can't pull off charming and witty. I don't know how to talk unless I have something to say.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like me. Something that was a big step for me was learning that everyone has something to teach me, even if I'm smarter than they are; people tend to love your idea of small talk if you mostly pay attention and ask questions about what they're saying. Much easier if you care more about learning something than having people think you're right.
That failed with my wife. I couldn't listen to her workday experiences year in and year out with the kind of interest I could bring to hearing her philosophy and favorite lifetime stories when they were new; my early listening and asking questions strategy fooled us both into thinking we'd be great conversational partners forever.
What about bizarre sexual preferences involving the weather?
ReplyDelete(... occasionally I wonder if I'm not kinky enough for conversations with kinky people, and then I come out with something like that.)
So, was the date in question really good or really bad?
ReplyDeleteNick - To be honest it ended up being less of a "date" and more of a "negotiation."
ReplyDelete...so really good.