Buying deodorant; or, how to drive yourself completely insane via the most trivial interactions of popular culture and feminist thought.
I am stinky! My hippie all-natural deodorant without those chemicals that my dad says cause Alzheimer's (scientific evidence is inconclusive) does not effectively unstinkify and I think people are noticing! As a girl I get treated bad if I'm not pretty and this smell is very not pretty! This is worth risking my health over! Time to buy some Alzheimer's deodorant!
Okay, I'm in the drugstore, I'm at the deodorant aisle, and... it's cut in half. Everything on the left is black and red and dark blue, and everything on the right is pink and purple and pale blue. I don't have to be told which one is for me, or why they've been divided visually this way and not by brand or antiperspirant/deodorant-only or gel/stick/spray.
I pick up some bottles and sniff them, and I can tell with my eyes closed, too. The left-side deodorants are all citrusy or spicy; the right-side ones are all flowery or powdery. (A couple of the left-side ones give me unexpected sense memories. Old Spice was like a goddamn cascade of ex-boyfriends in a bottle.) Maybe this makes some sense, because males and females do smell a little different, so maybe these are more complementary scents to our natural odors? Yeah, that's a stretch.
So the extremely First World Problem that faces me: if I buy a men's deodorant, will people notice that I smell like a man and think I'm weird? Can you get in trouble for being cross-deodorized? But if I buy a women's deodorant, aren't I just buying into the system? I think I like the men's deodorants more, but is it really the smells I like or is it the association with masculinity which is in turn associated with superiority? Oh fuck it, are there any neutral deodorants here?
There aren't.
In the end, I get Arm & Hammer deodorant, which I think is a men's brand--it's on the left--but is sort of middley, with an orange bottle and an air-freshener-y smell. (Also I have this vague idea that anything with Arm & Hammer in it must work extra well because baking soda is magical or something.) I think I can live with this.
Oh fuck, I just went to the website and the slogan on it is "All The Muscle A Man Needs." There's a picture of a veiny man's bicep too. It fooled me in the store, but no, I am definitely not invited to use this deodorant.
All I want to do is make my armpits less stinky, and I can't do it without negotiating gender in a million ridiculous ways.
My mom, because she's awesome, wore guys' cologne as perfume all throughout high school and college. She picked a somewhat fruitier scent, though still definitely for men, and it did in fact combine with her natural womanly pheremones/whatever it is that makes girls smell the way they do to make it smell a lot girlier on her than on her male best friend, who also wore it. That's always an option for you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this post is BRILLIANT. Every time I think I've read every possible way gender influences our world, you notice another. I don't know how you do it but I'm in awe.
When in doubt, deodorant stones (http://www.deodorantstones.com/) or Thai Crystals work amazingly well! Just rub on when you get out of the shower, or just wet the stone, swipe, and go. They're also some of the only products that can stifle my smelly summer feet <_<
ReplyDelete^ LUSH makes a deodorant powder that's pretty good, too. (http://www.lush.com) And it's pretty gender-neutral.
ReplyDeleteOh, gender-neutral deodorants exist. But they're over on the separate hippie-products aisle or the Internet or some special store. (They're also generally more expensive.) If you're not trying to perform gender, but not thinking particularly about how not to, just trying to get some normal deodorant at the normal place in your normal store--you have to pick pink or blue.
ReplyDeleteBah. Pretty sure I used to buy a "female" brand of deodorant for the longest time. It wasn't until the roll on started causing a rash that I switched to something different. I ended up going with a boy brand antiperspirant, for two reasons.
ReplyDelete1. It was a gel, which means less pain.
2. It was an antiperspirant, and not just a deodorant, because I sweat like a stereotypical fat man working out in 303 K weather.
But yeah, even as someone who generally doesn't think a lot (or at all) about gender issues, I do find it bothersome the way they divide everything. My deodorant is the only "boy" brand I use, and my face cleaner is the only "neutral" brand I use. Everything else is girly, because I like to smell and look decent. Well, more like my fiancee wants me to.
tl;dr Just make stuff that smells decent.
i just get the unscented stuff. The brand I use now happens to be Dove, which is on the girly side of the wall, but my man uses it too, so.
ReplyDeleteI should point out, as long as I'm pontificating in comments, that this also isn't about deodorant. I could go to the soap aisle, or the hair care aisle, and have the same experience. (Toothpaste hasn't been gendered yet! Is someone getting on this?)
ReplyDeleteI could also turn on the TV, or read an op-ed page, or talk to most people I know, and have very nearly the same experience.
I am unbelievably smelly. Tried all kinds of deodorants, for both genders, scented, unscented, nothing worked. Even the strongest-smelling deodorants just ended up making me smell like gross deodorant AND b.o. Not fair. Then I tried deodorant crystals. I kind of pushed them away before, since "crystal" makes me immediately think "hippie" and "it probably doesn't work". But wow - it works! Unless I don't shower for days, or if I am particularly hormonal, but the rest of the time, I am a normal person and can lift my arms above my head without turning everyone in the room off!
ReplyDeleteI don't use deodorant. If I'm horrifically smelly, no one has yet to tell me, except for occasional boyfriends who compliment my smell.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm just awesome like that.
I've noticed the same issue with razors. I usually buy "men's" razors, because there isn't a scent issue and I feel irritated at the assumption that because I'm a woman all my hygiene products must be pastel, voluptuous, and branded with words like "princess" and "goddess." (Meanwhile, the men's razors are engaged in a ridiculous bigger-is-better display of "how many blades can we fit onto one head"... but you take what you can get.)
ReplyDeleteFWIW, crystal deodorants work great for me, too. And there's no residue to clog up the aforementioned razors.
i have been wearing women-deodorant for years now and i couldn't care less about what people think :)
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the gendered grooming debacle. I ran an experiment on this, about mer.. two years ago now? If I haven't written a post about it, I should definitely get to that.
ReplyDeleteSo yes, wtf is up with the gendering of SOAP, DEODORANT, RAZORS and SHAMPOO! This is RETARDED, and I totally feel you, Holly. When I was experimenting, I went with Axe deodorants cause I kinda like their smells, but their advertising is ridiculously sexist. What's amusing (maybe just to me) is that even the "natural" hippy brands, have some "specifically for men" products, which says clearly that heteronormative mainstream masculinity is extremely anxious about risking the possibility of ever being mistaken for being girly. ...By smell.
Also I think that Dove is a good neutral choice, even though they advertise for womenz, because I do think it's actually gentler on the skin from what I remember, and also they have unscented.
ReplyDeleteOn that note, "Secret" brand is kind of an amusing anomoly in that their advertising, while appealing to stereotypes about how men are more smelly and also women's bodies are just mysteriously and even "chemically" different somehow, also managed to suggest in the tag-line that they've been using for years, that their product COULD be used by both sexes.
I tend to wear gender neutral or men's deodorants because I can't stand the scent of most aimed at women. Powder scents combine with my natural body chemistry to create something pretty horrifying and, but I find that anything labeled "fresh" scent works pretty well. I also tend to use men's razors. They're basically the same and often cheaper.
ReplyDeleteI'll admit, though, that I also have a lot of scent memory attached to Old Spice and the like. I actually can find them to be a huge turn on.
My father totally took me to task for picking up a package of blue disposable razors when we were at the store and he asked me to grab anything I needed. "I'll get you some women's razors," he said, as if I were being deliberately stubborn, and might possibly be a dyke or something. "These are exactly the same product, and cheaper," I responded, actually kind of taken aback that he couldn't see this for himself. I asked him what was different about the women's razors (I think he said something about how they were better at shaving "women's skin"), but I was unconvinced, and he finally relented.
ReplyDeleteI'm a girl (a little androgynous, but I do wear lots of skirts and bracelets if that means anything), and I wear Old Spice deodorant and body wash. I too had memory of a boyfriend who wore it - the boyfriend was eh, but the smell was wonderful. So I decided to use it for myself!
ReplyDeleteOh, forgot to mention in the comment above that the "women's" deodorant I used would always ALWAYS start failing by nightfall. Is this because there's some kind of presumption that women "powder up" 5 times a day and can reapply? I don't know. Or maybe I'm just too smelly for a girl, whatever. The Old Spice works for me all day.
ReplyDeleteWell, I wear men's role on, which doesn't smell that much.
ReplyDeleteMen's spray on will make you smell like boy, but I like smelling like a man and no one has ever said anything about it yet...
"I should point out, as long as I'm pontificating in comments, that this also isn't *about* deodorant."
ReplyDeleteI'm never going to be able to buy deodorant without being annoyed ever again. :P
Suddenly I'm wondering if someone at the Gender Marketplace should look into selling all-natural, gender neutral toiletries...
Another issue in the whole men's/women's deodorant debacle is price (also with razors, as somebody mentioned above). I used to wear women's deodorant, until I realized that the same price that got me 48g of lavender and kittens got me 85g of "extreme" deodorant. Why would I pay twice as much for a product that doesn't work any better?
ReplyDeleteWell, I use Ivory or Pure & Natural soap, and Mitchum unscented roll-on deodorant. I don't want my soap/deo to leave me smelling like anything. I'm highly allergic to most scents used in those products, and if I use a scented product, I have a migraine by 10 a.m. I do use a cologne if I'm doing something social, but when doing work or related stuff, I always thought it was inappropriate anyway.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, it is intriguing how the marketing geniuses never seem to get that implements don't have gender (but they try to make is be so anyway - e.g. pink razors, guns, etc), and I have yet to understand what they are thinking (presuming that the are actually doing so).
But setting that all aside
I'm sure a dozen people have said this already, but I'm a woman (both biologically and in terms of gender performance) who uses Right Guard. No one notices. I have worn it to interviews, jobs, and martial arts classes.
ReplyDeleteno one notices.
Also, my ex-girlfriend used to use Old Spice, so all my memories connected to that smell involve boobs.
Quite frankly, I think there should be a boycott on women's deodorant because it doesn't work. Everyone I know who uses "male" deodorant applies once a day. People who use "female" deodorant have to re-apply several times a day. So, yeah, boycott.
I just ignore the fact that the products I buy are gendered, and go for the ones that give me the best experience.
ReplyDeleteI usually end up buying men's products for their smell (products targeted specifically for women smell AWFUL), and women's products because they tend to be better. For instance, men's soap will usually dry your skin.
Besides, I feel sexier when I smell like a man.
I dunno about the Alzheimer's connection either, but I hate antiperspirants because that's the stuff that stains shirts. It's not the sweat, it's that aluminum compound! It also feels gross when it inevitably fails.
ReplyDeleteAs for deodorants, I do use a manly scent befitting my rippling manly nature... But eh, I'm not super-smelly. I don't actually need much deodorant and don't think I project much of a scent. I could probably use a female type, but cross-deodorizing would smell weird for me if not the people around me.
Speaking of soaps, is it just me or are all facial soaps female? I guess guys are supposed to go around with dirty faces, like auto mechanics and woodsmen.
I don't like the smell of most women's deodorants - spicy/citrus scents go way better with my body chemistry. Having said that, I use Secret in some kind of subtle cocoa butter scent because it seems to work best.
ReplyDeleteATTN SUPER-SMELLY PEOPLE: Food insensitivities can increase your stank. I used to smell of BO even after I'd just showered (and scrubbed my armpits with, like, lye and a sandblaster). Years later I worked out that my body doesn't like soy - and once I stopped eating it, the armpit situation improved exponentially.
Damn near any mysterious bodily ailment can be solved through food, I'm convinced.
Oh, also: I use a guys' razor because I think it's asinine that razors for women are always pink.
ReplyDeleteMind you, I also think it's asinine how most commercials for men's razors feature rocketship or racecar imagery. Seriously, WTF? Are they marketing to twelve year olds? "I'm shaving! Vrrrrroooooooom vrooooom! Yay!"
Oh, and the razor thing reminds me of something I read in the book Backlash: a bunch of decades ago, girls complained that model trains always had boys on the packaging. Girls wanted to feel included in the whole "model train" thing. One train company actually listened...and made a train just for girls. It was pink. It didn't sell, and I'm sure the company took this to mean "girls don't like trains" rather than "girls don't like to be fucking condescended to."
My mom and I use A$H and we're both female!
ReplyDeletemy husband and i use the same deodorant, razor blades, shampoo, and soap...it seems complicated and expensive to buy male and female versions of everything when we live in the same household! things we buy separately: hair products (he uses them, i don't) and face moisturizer (i use it, he doesn't). but we borrow these items from each other on the rare occasions we need them. i agree, i would love more lines of products that are unisex, especially unisex with nice packaging (i am totally a product design whore).
ReplyDeleteROTFL. I totally just went through this exact same thing about a month ago. It's like you crawled into my head.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was sort of funny to complain about having to not stink. Pretty much everyone, female, male or otherwise, is encouraged not to stink in our society and is generally avoided if s/he does.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of not particularly gendery deodorants, you might try Sure, which comes in a non-flavored rendition and is also plain green or blue colored. It's in there with all the rest of the sparkly crap, usually.
Actually, I think my deodorant is gender neutral -- it comes in a green bottle, I pick the unscented one, and I only get it because it's the only roll-on one in the aisle, and those stick ones always get all over my clothes.
ReplyDeleteI just decided to stop using soap/shampoo/deodorant, mostly because I had too many situations like the one you describe EXACTLY in this post. It's interesting - I worry now about being smelly, but it's definitely not as bad as I thought it would be. I shower regularly, just don't use any products, and it's sort of neat not to have to apply that shit!
ReplyDeleteBut when I WAS using deodorant, I was all over Tom's of Maine, and then the crystal. Nothing really worked to stop me sweating, but I did get some deodorant effect...
Dry Idea is available at most drug stores (at least in Canada) and is gender neutral as far as I can tell.
ReplyDeleteI always buy men's deodorant myself, 'cause I've never found a ladies' version what stops me from stinking. I just find a milder/less overtly masculine scent (anything along the lines of "Shower Clean" just smells like soap, and unscented is always an option)
Any time I decide to give some new women's brand a try, I end up swapping with my husband (he really doesn't need deodorant but usually wears it "just in case" and since I don't buy anything flowery, he never cares)
Generally I agree with you, but in this case I think you might be reading a bit too much into the deodorant.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it's just a product.
@seitzk: Personally I've found that the people I know who don't use deodorant DO smell. They don't notice it because they're used to it, and they are all people who shower regularly. I have a great sense of smell and maybe that's why I seem to always notice it, but no thanks!
ReplyDelete@perversecowgirl: "I'm shaving! Vrrrrroooooooom vrooooom! Yay!"
lmfao. For realz.
I've always hated the distinction between types of deodorant too and have gone all over the board. In my teen years I felt like I was always sweating through it whether I was wearing men's or women's. I can't stand the sticky feeling of gel, so I stick with whatever smell's not too offensive.
P.S. @ anon 2:22 - Your comment is part of the reason stuff like this gets so perpetuated and normalized.
ReplyDeleteI was half-way through what you wrote and I was thinking "unscented Arm and Hammer, it's orange not pink or black"
ReplyDeletePersonally, stinky pits=SEXXXY
Man. People are really eager to talk about deodorant.
ReplyDelete(Gillette clear gel. Cheap in bulk at Costco.)
I had a meltdown in the toothpaste aisle once after 30 hours of air travel and jet lag and when confronted with 64,000 choices, I just couldn't handle it (esp after coming back from visiting developing country). Too many branded and gendered versions of the same goddamn thing!
ReplyDeleteI used to use my brother's citrusy sporty cologne and deodorant because it smelled GOOD and not like rotting meadow (floral) or baby butt (powder) and still tend towards those scents. I do like the Secret vanilla and Asian pear scents, and my bf says he likes when I smell like food, which amuses me. And I sweat A LOT so there is no question of deodorant or not...still, I wish I didn't have to support such products sometimes :/
It's not the smell that gets me, although maybe, as proposed, I'm just inured to it--it's the embarrassing and uncomfortable swaths of discoloration on any and all clothes that is pretty hard for bystanders to miss.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, are there women out there who don't sweat *at all*, or use some magic product to achieve that?
Actually I'm sure there are. My boyfriend doesn't sweat much even when he rides his bike to work wearing "banker" clothes in the middle of a southeast summer. Some people are just lucky that way.
Second that the "hippie" crystal worked better than other options for a while, but then it stopped. Maybe that's where some weird food imbalance comes in. How sad is it that it simply hadn't occurred to me to try men's deodorant to see if it stops sweat better.
Wow. I just went to the drugstore to return some manly dark-blue razors and buy some different manly razors (Mach-3, I will never cheat on you again!) and the man behind me in line said "What do you use those for? ...Mustache?"
ReplyDelete(I didn't want his attention so I just coldly said "Sideburns.")
Blue razors don't work on lady-parts!
flightless
Seconding what others have said: why do the products for men WORK and "women's" versions don't? I used to use Axe deodorant, the non-antiperspirant kind, and was shocked at how much better it worked than my previous anti-perspirant laden women's brand.
ReplyDeleteSame with razors. I have an iron-clad policy that I never, ever buy pink razors because they just don't work. One use and they're dull. What do the manufacturers think I'm shaving? Dainty feminine leg hair? Not so much.
Yet more proof that we're not the women advertisers are targeting (if anyone actually is). Yay for us!
I remember stopping by the drug store with a boyfriend (now ex) who was very, very upset when I grabbed a man's deodorant because I didn't want to smell all flowery. We got in a very big fight about it and I never really understood why that was so incredibly offensive to him. I understand people who are attached to gender roles so I could understand (not agree with, but at least understand) if he was upset if I wanted to wear a strap-on or something, but I really don't understand being so obsessed with some deodorant/soap/etc being strictly for men and some for women.
ReplyDelete@Marlene, re: stinky pits - I *love* smelling my lady after she's been working out. Just the thought of it gets me worked up. mmmm. Pheromones.
ReplyDeleteAs for what pit juice to use, I use CertainDri.
http://www.certaindri.com
it has *no* smell. not that it's 'unscented,' because usually those have some scent to them... no, this stuff has *no* scent at all. and it *works* I usually apply it every other, or third day.
A friend suggested that for odorless shampoo, I should try hunters shampoo from the sporting goods section. That's actually a really clever idea, I'll have to try it...
ReplyDeleteFor years I avoided normal deodorant because there's a breast cancer risk in the family and several relatives believe deodorant causes breast cancer. Finally I talked with my cancer-activist sister who said, you know, men use those deodorants too, and if that were true, there'd be a lot more male breast cancer than there is. AFAIK the Alzheimers risk is only from ingestion.
ReplyDeleteTotal trueness & validity of your gender-binary complaint aside, there are some neutral-smelling deodorants. They can be hard to find though - if a store isn't going to carry a scent, seems the first one they drop is "unscented."
I'd love to have a more masculine-smelling deodorant (I'm a genderqueer woman whose physical attributes mean I present much more femmey than I identify), but they all seem also to smell *stronger* to me, as in bowling-me-over-with-scent, which probably has gendered connotations in itself.
I'm a ciswoman who uses man-deodorant (specifically Old Spice, but one of their not-original scents) mostly because lady-deodorant is definitely not enough to de-stinkify me, especially not in the middle of summer when I normally run into this problem.
ReplyDeleteAlso the powder and flowers smells make me sneeze. >_<
It might also be part of the "milk the women for as much as you can" thing too. They make substandard stuff that's clearly only for women ('cause we all know women will only buy something in a pastel color) just so they can sell twice as much for 150% of the price men pay for the same stuff.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have no idea if you'll get this comment.
I personally use Ban. It's in gender-neutral colors and has scents such as "Powder Fresh" and "Shower Fresh". It does have more girly scents, but I (in my ever-so-humble opinion) like the "Sweet Surrender". It's a nice scent that turns more spicy on me, when I use it.
i use brute spray on deodorant, and even though i know the smell is noticeable no one has ever said anything to me about it. i started using it when i was separated from my husband (we were still together but living separately for financial reasons) and i missed him and wanted to smell like him. i continue to use it because i like the smell, and on the rare occasion that i wear perfume, it actually goes good with the wild musk i wear.
ReplyDelete