Cosmocking: 7 Signs He Has Human Physiology!

I was writer's blocked this morning! I was blocked all bad. I wrote like half of "I want to have sex in the snow," then realized that snow is cold, then like half of a thing about how victims of violence sometimes really are kinda fuckups but that still shouldn't change our attitude toward violence, but I couldn't get my arguments real super lucid, and then I ate some pierogi and fell asleep.

Thank God I'm on Cosmo's mailing list.

7 Signs He Wants to Have Sex (Besides the Obvious One!)
I'm hoping "the obvious one" is him saying "I want to have sex with you." Because that's the one and only obvious one! Boners can come up for all kinds of reasons, and mean anything from "it's morning" to "I'm physically attracted to you, but don't want to go through with sex" to "you touched my crotch so I got hard, but I didn't really want to," to "I gotta pee so bad."

But if you thought that an erection itself is open to interpretation unless you openly communicate about it, boy, you ain't seen nothing yet.

He gets an "eye erection."
His pupils dilate, making the black part of the eye go from small to larger, something that happens when arousal spikes.
Jeez, men always get so horny when you turn the lights down.

Also, picture an "eye erection" literally, and you might not sleep tonight.

He hooks his thumbs in his belt loops.
It's an attempt to highlight the crotchal region and get you thinking about his junk.
I hook my thumbs in my belt loops! Usually the thought is "I don't have anywhere to put my hands, but shoving them in my pockets looks awkward. Holding my belt loops will occupy my hands in a far cooler and more laid-back-looking way." I was not aware that I was sending a sexual invitation to anyone who happened to be looking.

He touches his nose a lot.
Unless he has a cold, this could be a sign since the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine recently reported that the nerves in a guy's nose and his erectile tissue are linked.
Okay, especially in the winter, patently ridiculous. But now I'm just wondering: how do you apply this knowledge? Maybe this is just supposed to give you a little extra confidence when you make a move in the conventional fashion. But I can't help thinking:
"Hey! Why did you grab my crotch!"
"Oh hush, I know you want me. You touched your nose and everything."

He speaks more deeply than usual.
A 2010 study found that people lower the pitch of their voice when they're turned on.
I'll actually give Cosmo this one. The baritone flirt is kinda a thing. Although it's amusing that they seem to be steadily compiling signs that a man with a cold is just the horniest ever.

He cups or rubs your shoulder.
This is often a subconscious simulation of grabbing some tata.
Uh. While I agree that the shoulder rub is often a horny and/or affectionate thing, I really really hoped that the thinking was more "this is a non-threatening part of her body" and less "it's sort of like a bony angular BOOB!"

He goes in for a hug and rests his hands low on your back.
It may not feel sexual, but if he lingers just above your ass, he could be craving, well, ass.
Random anecdote: when I was in middle school, I had my first slow dance. I didn't know what to do and I was tremendously anxious, because boys never asked me to dance and at this point it was basically the closest thing I had to sex. The music got all drifty and lovey-dovey, he put his hands around my waist, and I put my hands... around his waist. Seemed like the thing to do.

In retrospect that's probably a totally reasonable variation, but in middle school it's as socially acceptable as picking your nose with the salad fork during the fish course. I was quickly informed of this and didn't slow dance again until... well, actually, ever.

Anyway, I think lower back hugs are sexy, not because men think entirely in weird puns, but because to get the angles right to do that to a relatively shorter woman, you have to press your bodies way together, which is a slightly less subtle hint.

He bites his lower lip and shakes his head.
Dudes who do this when they're talking to you may be feeling frisky.
Well, yeah, but that's the universal gesture for "dayum, girl." It's weird to mix this into a list of autonomic or ambiguous things like "his pupils are dilated."


In conclusion, there is no way to know if someone is attracted to you without one of you taking some sort of actual risk. You may even have to communicate. My deepest condolences.