Secret Identity.

Unfortunately, at work we're very comfortable talking about our sex lives. No problem if your sex life is basically a binary "I got laid"/"I didn't get laid", but I still feel awkward when I'm asked about mine.

Work friend: "How did that date Thursday night go?"

Real answer: "The guy was kind of a dud although I did like it when he put clothespins all over my breasts and ripped them off. Later in the night, after I'd worked off some nervous energy dancing around topless, I ended up in bed with about eight people lying between a midget and a biker with the midget's naked girlfriend in my lap and a slaveboy rubbing my feet. I didn't technically get laid, but one of my friends who's a puppy player got his paw four fingers deep in me and everyone watched me scream as I came."

Out-loud answer: "Eh, the guy was kind of a dud."

It's like being Batman.