There's an actually-quite-good article in this issue about "My First Year as a Woman," by Laura Jane Grace writing about her transition. Cosmo doesn't at all acknowledge that horrible article from a couple months ago where they were making fun of a blatantly-fictional trans woman, but maybe this is a quiet apology? More likely, it was written way in advance and no one at Cosmo even realizes the connection.
Testosterone, one of the hormones that regulates sexual desire, is always higher in the beginning of a relationship for both men and women [...] But as the novelty wears off, less testosterone is produced, and sex with that person seems a little less interesting.I was going to make fun of this, but it turns out that it's true; barring supplementation or something, people's testosterone always does get lower as a relationship goes on. Because testosterone decreases with age.
Excessive masturbation will tax a man's libido and make it so he doesn't have a lot of mojo left for you.In other news from 1829, graham crackers will prevent impure thoughts, as will corn flakes, and taking them along with pure living and cold baths can help you avoid the scourge of self-abuse and consequent blindness.
Unless he's blowing off work to get his fix, it's not something that requires therapy, but it does warrant a discussion. "Let him know that you can feel the power of his erection when he hasn't ejaculated in a day or two," says Kerner. "That should give him the hint."Yeah, I don't think you're going to be able to fool him on this one. I'm pretty sure he can feel the power of his erection himself.
My Boobs Lost Their Power
[Author has breasts. She discusses this.] A huge part of what I appreciated about having breasts was how much men appreciated me having them. As much as dating can suck, the one consistently fun part was the reaction I got when I took of my top. It was like being in Cirque du Soleil without doing any work.
[Author enters a long-term relationship.] I wasn't prepared for the scene that occurred two months into our cohabitation. Him: Getting ready for work. Me: Also getting ready, but in jeans, topless as I searched for my bra. I thought this was a pretty hottish look, but when I walked into the bedroom, he looked me in the eyes and asked where his socks were. It's a strange feeling, as a woman, to feel air against your breasts and be talking about laundry. That's when I realized my favorite party trick was no longer new at this party.
My rack and I entered a mourning phase. We missed even the goofy adolescent attention that we used to get from him--the honk-honks and the Tune in Tokyos that he'd dole out with a dopey grin.Oh man, I remember when I could freeze a guy mid-sentence and make him turn all goggle-eyed just by showing my boobs. It was from about January to March of 2002. After that, my boyfriend still liked my breasts just fine, but no longer made anime nosebleed faces when I got them out. And everyone I got naked with after that had been in other sexual relationships and thus also gotten over their "anime nosebleed" stage, generally at some point in high school.
Which I was grateful for, because when it's morning and we're getting dressed and we have to go to work and all, I don't really want to be the Cirque du Soleil. I'm very glad I get to decide which times are Sexy Times, instead of getting dragged into it every time I shower or change my clothes.
Then again, clearly I have a lot of philosophical differences from this author, because I have never once felt a twinge of wistful nostalgia for having my breasts honked.
7 Moves You Think He Wants In Bed -- But He Really Doesn't
2. Strongly hint that you're in the mood, then play hard to get and make him work at seducing youThat's actually a good point, except for the part where every other issue of Cosmo lovingly teaches women how to do exactly that.
Also, the reasoning they give for this isn't "because he can't tell with 100% certainty the difference between 'hard to get' and 'actually not wanting it,' and refusing to clarify this is not just annoying, it erodes the meaningfulness of consent in your relationship."
No, it's "Just what a guy wants when he gets home from work: more work." Because "The Chase is a game for those who've just met." (And then the author gives the example of how he dated a vegan girl so he ate vegan food to have sex with her, and that's some serious work. He ate cheeseburgers afterwards though, wink nudge!) And, of course, "we worked hard to catch you in the first place, so let's just enjoy the fruits of our labor."
Oh yeah, that's what women are into: feeling like particularly large fish.
So here's the thing: Guys don't require fancy moves or costumes to get turned on. We're simple creatures with simple needs."We're simple creatures with simple needs, and that's why you need to subscribe to an entire magazine about how to find us; how to dress, make up, and present yourself to please us; how to perform a large variety of numbered sex acts upon us; which sex acts you must never perform; and why you're screwing up all your relationships with us. Because we are so simple!"
Cosmo Sexicon: Whipdar
whip-dar, n., A woman's astute ability to sense just how whippable a guy really is.Does anyone really want to "whip" their boyfriend? (Certainly some people want to whip their boyfriend, and hey, that's just fine if he's into it.) I mean, when I watch TV shows with Rowdy, it's because I think we both enjoy them and we're bonding over them. If I found out he felt "whipped" into it and actually hated the shows, I'd be crushed.
Then again, I live in a universe where people of different genders can enjoy the same activities.
If you simply tell him you're not going to have an orgasm, what he may hear is: "I'm not enjoying this at all. You are less than a man."Well, tough, because that's not what I said. I am not responsible for things people decide to imagine I said.
Cosmo's advice, however, is that if you're not going to come you should try and make him come, because that'll get it over with, and boy, there's nothing more sexy and intimate than getting it over with.
I get excited when my crush Likes my pictures on Instagram. But he Likes a lot of other girls' pictures as well. We seem to have a good connection in person. Can Liking my photos mean something more?If it simplifies your life any, person, I don't Like this at all.