Monday, September 8, 2008

Ropin' and Ridin'.

No, no, just ropin'. Mostly. I went to a bondage class this weekend and it was officially the funnest thing since sliced fun. I love it when kinky shit is fun. When the sound in the seedy scary pervy dungeon isn't moans but giggles. Sometimes I feel like this is the single hardest thing to communicate about BDSM to outsiders: that it can be silly. Not always, sure, it can be dark and scary or intense and sweaty, but often play is just that.

(It's probably a little more so in public play, but I've also done some goofy-ass scenes in private. I believe I was once made to yodel while being caned.)

I know that hitty enthusiasts aren't exactly high on the oppressed-minority priority list, but it does sort of shock me the way it's portrayed in the media. I caught the tail end of a CSI the other night where a dominant had killed his submissive during a scene--it alternated between a ridiculously horror-movie-looking flashback of her in a full goddamn rubber suit with hoses coming out of the mouth (don't know about you, but I own three of those!) and the police interviewer berating the killer with "you bastard, she was nothing to you, she was a thing for you to destroy."

At best it's glamorously taboo, at worst it's psychopathic, but the one thing I've never seen BDSM portrayed as is ordinary. If anyone could point me to a TV show or movie or anything where a bondage dungeon contains people in t-shirts or regular cotton underwear and there are people off to the side just chatting and at least some of the scenes are playful--I will fly out to you, wherever you are, and kiss you on the lips. I realize that ordinary chubby folks in jeans having a good time don't make scandalous entertainment, but still... dang.

Anyway. Before I slide too far into "liking spankings is like being a black gay homeless immigrant!" territory, I should mention something cool: I topped! For the first time in many, many months. It was... honestly, I'm not sure how much of a turnon it was, it didn't get to me viscerally like receiving pain and domination does, but it was interesting and enjoyable. I put clothespins all over a cute boy's tender places and tugged on them and twisted them and he grinned like a maniac the whole time.

He was nothing to me. A thing for me to destroy. Obviously.


  1. I remember seeing The Cell in a theater and hearing the audience gasp at stock-in-trade bondage gear portrayed on screen, populated with the animated corpses of the psycho's victims. I rolled my eyes more than once.

  2. Secretary

    I haven't actually seen it, but it's supposed to be pretty good.

  3. Aebhel - I've seen Secretary, and I like it, but as far as normalizing... eh. It's a cute movie no doubt, but the protagonists are absolutely wracked with pathologies and never seem to have heard that such a thing as BDSM exists outside them.

    I like it as a movie (good lord, James Spader spanking Maggie Gyllenhal, how could I not?), but as PR for our important social movement, we could do better.

  4. The Secret Lives of Women on the WE Network actually has had a couple of episodes with women who are into different fetishes. It's a good show.

  5. Reno 911 has some amusing bondage vignettes.