I've been reading some blog posts on the Open Source Boobie Project, and I'm really annoyed. Because although I think the guy who started the project is more than slightly creepy, I also think there's nothing wrong with the idea. Having my boobies touched is fun! I like sex, I like attention, I like fun, and as long as I have consistent veto power, I don't see the problem with an agreement between two adults that there will be boobie-touching. In fact, as long as the veto power is thoroughly respected and women without buttons aren't approached, I have trouble seeing why anyone would object. (It bothers me that the buttons were only for women, I'd appreciate a two-way gropestreet, but that's not a dealbreaker on the whole project I think.)
But then I read this:
Not that I’m blaming the she-geeks that were sucked into this. As a she-geek of sorts, I fully understand that when you are old enough to vote but probably not old enough to drink, you are still getting over the fact that everyone who told you that you were too ugly and unsexy for admission in the human race in high school was probably exaggerating the case. And thus, you might be vulnerable to the flattery of some asshole who says, “Your tits are just good enough to be groped by random dudes who think showering every day is for peons.” But I promise you, young ladies, you don’t need the affections of men who hate you in order to get your grope on.
That's such a steaming pile of "women don't ever really like sex!" and "if you disagree with me, you don't know what's best for you!" I mean, I didn't even get the chance to participate in the project and I still feel personally condescended to. Because this does describe me to a point--I was ugly in high school, still kinda am, and I do enjoy that I can get a surplus of sexual attention now. But... so? This is so bad? The sexual attention makes me happy, and it's not a fake or deluded happy, it's just flat out "boys like my boobs, this is awesome." I'm not degrading myself by seeking sexual attention unless you believe that sex itself is degrading. I do not.
Also, I'm rather offended that being sexually attracted to women's bodies equates (and not for the first time) to hating them. By that standard, I fucking despise men. 'Specially big beefy ones with short hair. Bastards.
In the comments, it goes from condescending to outright foreign to my experience:
-the “status quo” already IS that men go up to women and ask if they can touch their breasts
-Do you know how many times complete strangers have groped me, or asked to grope me? Because I can’t count that high.
Uh... really? Is that what the other chicks are getting? Because--and now I really feel ugly--this doesn't happen to me. It just... doesn't. I walk around the city and ride the bus and go to parties and I've never been seriously groped by a stranger unless I was coming on to them. I thought this was because the human race was basically decent, but is it just because I'm not pretty?
(The exception is patients; I do get groped by mentally impaired people sometimes. But I can't really hold it against them and often I don't even know if it was deliberate.)
I just don't know how to reconcile women's stories of constant public sexual harassment with my experience of never having such a thing happen to me. Or even witnessing it secondhand. Men who deny that this happens are accused of being blinded by male privilege--am I privileged to be a dumpy chick?