Saturday, April 26, 2008

Run free, little ovaries! Freeee!

I'm going off the Pill for now. I'm not having uncondomed sex with anyone anyway, I'm trying to lose weight, and I want my full enormous sex drive back. (Not that it ever got so low--I've heard horror stories about women on the Pill permanently losing the ability to orgasm, and I sure as hell haven't experienced anything like that and I'm still plenty horny... but I used to be even more.)

Also, before I went on the Pill I had a period roughly every three months, which, although it occasionally gave me pregnancy paranoia, was pretty awesome.

On the whole, it was cool to know that I was almost completely babyproofed, but there are too many negatives to make it worthwhile if I'm using condoms. I might go back on it sometime in the future if I actually have a relationship steady enough to do the unprotected thing, but that's probably a ways off.

And sadly, I feel like I'm getting to the point in terms of number of partners where I really shouldn't be going uncondomed with anyone until I've committed to monogamy and then been tested. I'm not sure how statistically/medically true this is, but once I cracked the double digits, I started to feel like I'm pretty much Typhoid Mary if I go unprotected. I haven't had anything symptomatic and I did pass an STD test clean (three men ago...) but I do worry about things like HPV. If 25% of people have it, and I've slept with about twelve... AP Statistics was a long time ago but I'm thinking the probability is basically "yes."

Or not. I've been good with condoms. I've only ever barebacked Alan and he'd never barebacked anyone else. It's hard for me to dissect the truth from the slut-shaming in the stories about what diseases you can get even with a condom. The happy little slut in me wants to believe the latex is a truly protective free ride, the paranoid media consumer in me worries that bugs crawl right around that thing, and the medical professional in me just doesn't know who to trust.


  1. I'm pretty sure HPV is on the list of ookies that you can get with a condom. And assuming your partners all had 25% probability of carrying it and a 100% transmission rate for carrying partners (both of which I doubt), you have around a 97% chance of HPV. Fun.


  2. Bruno - I should get Gardasil. Haven't, but should.

    Yeah, both of those assumptions are off. I've taken two virginities, so those are both zero-risk, plus the vast majority of my number were only one or two time encounters and that probably lowers transmission risk as well.

    However I have to factor in that Jon sleeps with everything and I've slept with him lots (never unprotected though because I'm not a moron), so he's probably 97% all by his self.

  3. I have serious STD paranoia, despite having zero symptoms and logically at least, having indulged in not much risk.

    After coming out of a long-term, monogamous, condomless but tested relationship, I've had no unprotected sex until my new bf, who has in turn had no unprotected sex since his last clean test.

    But I'm still nagging him to go get tested, because I'm paranoid about the sly ones... HPV and chlamydia. I'm also factoring in my ex-fuckbuddy, who I'm pretty sure has slept with everything female on the island of Ireland, but I never slept with him unprotected.

    But it makes me wonder - most of the girls I know are similarly paranoid... why the fuck are STI's so rampant if all women are this neurotic??

  4. Michelle - Actually, I think there are a lot of women who don't do diddly to protect themselves. I know plenty of girls who think that if you're on the pill a one-night stand doesn't require a condom.

  5. Well, clearly you're right... I was mostly being facetious.

    I just despair that there's such a gulf in attitude between the two groups. It seems that instead of everyone being aware of the dangers, we've got some people who are very aware of the risks, and some who don't seem to know or care. I'm in Ireland, so I'm sure stats differ and education methods differ... but in the 'western world' it's unfortunate that a message so basic isn't getting through to an awful lot of people.

  6. I got HPV from my only b/f. He'd slept with one other person before me, with a condom and only once but I still got infected.