Wednesday, February 17, 2010


I'm starting to believe that a surprisingly large proportion of men, maybe even most thin young men, are capable of autofellatio, but it's one of those things that nobody ever admits to so it attains the status of myth.

Considering that there's definitely not much stigma about self-administering a handjob, you'd think a blowjob wouldn't be so different. So it's not just an "ewww gay" thing. I think the distinction is that the auto-blowjob generally isn't very effective--it's uncomfortable and you can't get much rhythm going--so it's purely an experimental or embellishing form of self-stimulation. And somehow that's unmanly, or just degraded in general.

Masturbation that just gets the job done is relatively socially acceptable, but I think there's still a lot of weird guilt about enjoying masturbation. I've heard statements in defense of masturbation characterizing it as "a bodily function," which sounds all enlightened, but also suggests that it's like going to the bathroom, something you just do, not something you should take your time and have fun with.

Men sucking their own dicks is hot. Don't make them feel weird about it, people--then they'll do it less and show it off less and then we all lose.


  1. I WISH.

    Please, Holly...if a significant portion of us could suck our own dicks, civilization would never have advanced because we'd never leave the house.

  2. Black Ice - When I say "suck," I'm talking about a guy being able to just put his mouth on the head with his back crunched all the way over. I'm not talking about a full-on blowjob to orgasm. It's not even a physical replacement for a partner, let alone an emotional one.

  3. Yeah, I dunno. Maybe, but holy crap I'm not that flexible, or even close.

  4. I'm with Black Ice on this one. I don't think most people are that flexible.

    I wish I was. I think it's more of an urban myth than anything else.

    I'm not disputing that *some* guys are flexible enough to do that, but outside of Cirque do Soleil....not so much.

  5. topic! My boyfriend can technically do it, pretty much like what you described, plow position that brings the mouth and head of the penis in contact, but not really something that'd produce the desired orgasm effect, just a "hey, it's possible/I can do!" thing. Not enough depth, pressure, comfort, stimulation to really do the job.

    We saw it in the movie "Short Bus" which prompted an "experiment" that I witnessed. It created much giggling and hilarity but not much sex appeal, honestly. :)

  6. Anon - Okay, probably not "most." But it's an urban myth that it's an urban myth! I have personally witnessed it multiple times.

  7. I'd qualify it with "most people aren't that flexible, but it's far easier to become that flexible than most realize".

    Progressing to be able to do a credible front or side split is hard. Progressing to be able to basically fold in half just requires patience and about five minutes a day.

  8. Kaija beat me to it - hard to watch Shortbus and not give it a go :)

  9. I can get my tongue on my own nipples, but it's not *comfortable* for my neck. Maybe if I had bigger breasts and could get the whole nipple in my mouth, it would be worth it, but as it is - strictly party trick.


  10. Flightless,

    I have big boobs and I can't get my nipple in my mouth. You'd have to have big and saggy boobs to do it since you have to kind of fold the boob to get the nipple to the right angle. If the boobs are firm at all it's pretty impractical.

  11. Mangoesandlimes - Hey! I have small firm breasts and I can get my nipple in my mouth! I'll prove it when I get home tonight.

  12. I wouldn't say that "most" skinny guys are capable of autofellatio. I love skinny guys and have been acquainted with a good number of them. Only one could autofellate (and even then it was only the head).

    It was hot, though.

  13. I meant big, firm boobs - I don't think I tried when I was younger and had smaller boobs, so I'm not sure if I could've pulled it off then or not. If I try to get my nipple up to my mouth now, I have to fold my boob to aim the nipple and there's just too much flesh in the way. It all kind of ends up pushing into my chin and neck, which hurts for various reasons. I kind of crushed my throat with it just now. Ooof.

    I think I'm going to stop trying and just wait for my boyfriend to come home to do it for me.

  14. "Black Ice - When I say "suck," I'm talking about a guy being able to just put his mouth on the head with his back crunched all the way over."

    I tried that, and my chiropractor took to dancing in the street not too long after.

    Hey, us dudes can mostly kinda do it...maybe...once...when we're flexible. And I curse myself for not starting a strict regimen of stretching before I got all piano-string tendons and stuff, but c'est la vie.

    About half the guys in the world can--maybe--do what you're suggesting in their early teen years. Wish for that when we're older and you're setting yourself up for T3h 5@dn355.

  15. How did I miss this?

    Masturbation is the kind of sex I have when there's no one around.

    Now, I do have to be hornier to masturbate than to have partnered sex. This is because I build on the energy ... no, that's bullshit, it's because responding to someone else takes less than starting something myself, and when I don't have a partner I have to do all the work.