Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Discussion About Sanding.

My friends and I were sanding a desk in preparation for painting. Specifically, we were working on the legs of the desk, wrapping sandpaper around each leg and vigorously stroking it up and down the wood.

"I think there's some things that men are just naturally better at because it's like masturbating for them. It's a familiar movement."

"So what would women be good at then... stuffing spaghetti into a tomato?"


  1. Funfact: painting a wall with a roller seems to use the same muscles as giving a dude a hand job. According to my sore forearms, anyway.

    And I guess my masturbatory habits would make me good at, I dunno, using the scroll-wheel on a computer mouse.

  2. I don't get it. Assuming a tomato with a hole or slit in it represents a vagina, what's the spaghetti? Fingers? Some kind of sex toy? Tampons? Wouldn't you take any of those things out at some point? What kind of dish (or useful product) is "spaghetti-stuffed tomato" anyway?

    Even as a bit of semi-random weirdness, that seems to be too obtuse and/or incomprehensible to serve as a humorous metaphor.

  3. ^ I don't get what Not Me said. I think you overthought that waaay too hard.

    But I thought it was hilarious, in a slightly disgusting (and thus more entertaining) way. XD *claps*

  4. @NotMe: it's the motion of the hands that's similar, not the presence of the spaghetti (or sandpaper).

    i LOL'd.


  5. "it's the motion of the hands that's similar, not the presence of the ... sandpaper"

    Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it :)

  6. lol... i've just made the dog worried wity the noises I made (it's a puppy, and isn't familiar yet with people laughing with no apparent reason)

  7. *is with flightless*

    *also lol'd*

  8. Perhaps I'm not getting it because the only sorts of masturbation I've seen a woman do are a circular motion around her clitoral region, or doing the in-and-out with a dildo. Neither of those things remotely resembles the spaghetti-and-tomato scenario described here.

  9. well, my work server will be a bit surprised to transmit this, but listen: my mental image of this isn't about stuffing, but about stroking that spagetti mildly in, as you would tickle someone, only in slow-motion and more playfully. the spaghetty being wet and soft and wriggly.

    if we're speaking about schemes, in this case the motion doesn't describe an O, but an = , with the two main fingers having parallel routes at the sides of the (slightly spaghetti-like) clit.