Some of the coolest sex happens when you get out of the mindset "I should show him/her what I've got" and into the mindset "oh man, we should see what we can do!" When you're not exactly pleasing each other; you're a team exploring pleasure. When "hmm, let's see what this does" is not entirely a joke and "ooh, we should totally try this!" is not a line.
There's a reason, cheesy as it is, that people on dating sites talk about looking for a "partner in crime." It's because one of the best roles to play in sex is that of co-conspirators. "We've found it! This is the sex they didn't want us to know about!"