This weekend, Sprite and Rowdy and I are going to the Fetish Fair Fleamarket in Providence for three days of debauchery, perversion, and general moral turpitude. (I think moral turpitude is what you use to remove moral varnish.)
I'm excited. And a little nervous. I always worry before BDSM events, usually the twin terrors of:
1) Oh no, what if someone hits me really hard?
2) Oh no, what if no one hits me really hard?
They're both just matters of asking for what I want, though. If I can say "I want you to hit me," and I can say "but not real hard unless I say I'm ready, m'kay?", I can deal with most of that fear.
Then it's just... fun. More fun than lust, really. Kink in this kind of atmosphere is rarely a matter of "this is my deepest, darkest desire hidden down in the blood-streaked thorn garden of my soul," and more like "haha I wanna use that toy next I totally want to get tied up all crazy like wheeee." At least for me. And that's awesome.
Plus, these are only concerns that apply to play events, and though I understand there, uh, might be some playing going on somewhere, that's actually not the main thrust of the Flea. There's going to be classes and discussions and events and lots of shopping--basically everything from your typical nerd convention, except that our fandom is sexual perversion--and those are nearly as fun with far less neurosis attached. For those I'm just plain a kid in a candy store.
Man, Friday evening can't come soon enough.