Monday, January 26, 2009

Why you will not get pregnant from swallowing cum: A brief Primer.

I originally wrote a post that was kind of snarky and condescending here.  I regret that, because it's gotten a lot of Google traffic, and I really shouldn't be a jerk to people who are trying to learn.

So the short version is:



Pregnancy can only happen when sperm contacts the egg in the fallopian tubes or the uterus.  The only part of the body that connects these organs to the outside world is the vagina.  There is no pathway from the mouth or stomach to the fallopian tubes; any sperm there will just get destroyed by stomach acid.  So there is absolutely zero chance that sperm that didn't touch you in or around your vagina could get you pregnant.

(There is a very, very slight chance of sperm from anal sex getting in your vagina.  But you really should be using condoms for anal sex anyway because buttsex has the highest risk for transmitting diseases, and even if neither of you has a disease, your partner can get an infection from getting your butt-germs in and on his penis.)


There is a possibility of getting STDs by giving blowjobs and swallowing cum, and using a condom for blowjobs will protect you from this.  (Get unlubricated, if you get the chance. The lube tastes a little funky.  Still less funky than cum, though.)

It's also okay to say "no" to giving a blowjob, even though it can't get you pregnant, if you simply don't want to give one.  Any guy who gives you a hard time over not giving him a blowjob or demands you give him a reason is so extremely not worth your affections.


For a lot more accurate and detailed information on cum, pregnancy, sex, STDs, and related issues, go here; it's an excellent site for basic (and beyond-basic) sex ed.

21 comments:

  1. And use a new condom every time you have sex! You can't just turn a used condom inside out!

    Don't open the condom with your teeth, or you might tear it. A torn condom is as useless as no condom at all, because disease cells and sperm are really small!

    If you can't understand these things, you are not smart enough to operate a reproductive system. Either return it to the manufacturer or avoid using it until you brighten up. And for the sake of all that's good and holy, DO NOT REPRODUCE.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bruno - The thing that amazes me is that I've never, even as a teenager, had sex with a boy who didn't take for granted we'd be using condoms and know how to use them. But I guess I just attract a more intellectual stratum of boys than some people.

    (Although I don't know anyone who really uses barriers for oral sex, but shhh, don't tell the kids.)

    Anyway all of this is irrelevant to me anyway, because I TRUST MAH MAN HE DUN GOT NO DISEASES AND HE PROMISED HE DUNT SPERM IN ME.
    Besides, babies are adorable and if I had one it would love me forever and it would make its Daddy love me forever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holly, you're a really cool person so it makes me kind of sad to see you using Fake Ebonics.

      Delete
    2. I've come a long way in the last four years.

      Delete
  3. Holly, why don't you just tell people the awful truth: The More 'Cum' You Swallow The More Pregnant You Will Get!!

    Seriously, the average laptop these days is, what 10,20 times more powerful than all the mission control computers for the Apollo missions... Who are these people and why are they allowed to operate this kind of heavy machinery? And while we're at it, 'cum' is a Latin conjugation. "Come" is that snotty white stuff that comes out of the end of my penis.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't even know what the barriers for oral sex look like.

    Having said that...maybe I'm just lucky to have grown up in a state with good sex ed? Or maybe being a geeky little bookworm about things like sex actually did pay off?

    I don't know. It seems like people ought to have a basic grasp of their own reproductive system before they start fucking, but maybe that's just me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. If only y'all husbands could see what you lot are saying here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be honest i think im pregant cuz my period hasnt came yet and normally its come at the last week of the month thats leaving coming in to the month andbi havnt had sex since july1st and my period had came july 7th so what should i do

      Delete
    2. Henry - Haha fuck off.

      Anon - GO TO A DOCTOR!

      Delete
  6. Ohk can you get prefnant by it or not.??
    Commentin should not be aloudd.!!! Yall confuzed mee.!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. No It Cant Get U Pregnant Anonymous.

    ReplyDelete
  8. i love you thank you my loard!!!!! so glad

    ReplyDelete
  9. do u get pregnant if u swallow the sperm even little less or more....plz do rply

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. There is absolutely no way to get pregnant from sperm in your mouth or stomach, in any amount.

      Delete
  10. I had oral sex with my boyfriend today...and i feel nauseous. Is that normal?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's probably unconnected, unless you're nauseous because you're nervous or upset.

      Delete
    2. I did that today and i feel the same way!!

      Delete
  11. Im so high I read this whole thread lol. Good work this is the 1st thing that came on google

    ReplyDelete
  12. I should insert a joke to confuse people but i wont.

    ReplyDelete