Friday, January 7, 2011


The meat of my pectoralis muscle is hidden under my breasts, but at the top, there's an exposed strip, a sweeping curve running over my ribcage to my shoulder on each side. It's hard, tough, and surprisingly large, and with one hand on my ribs, I can feel it flex. It's a strange strength to find within myself.

The other day at work, an old lady started to lose her balance. She'd had a stroke and one leg was weak but she was trying to walk anyway, and in slow motion she started to wobble and crumple and sink down. And didn't fall. I wrapped my arms around her and picked her up and bodily lifted her back into bed. I put her down all crookedwise and awkward and kind of on the edge, and it took two more people to get her situated properly. When it was just a matter of getting everything all lined up nice, I could barely lift a third of her.

I complained earlier about being bad at being on top during sex. I'm not always. When I fuck Rowdy on top, the motion I use is... like I was fucking him. Like he had a pussy and I was driving a cock into it, hard. All this is obviously the exact opposite of what's going on. But that's how it feels and that's when it works. The mental image of "I'm going to slide my pussy up and down your cock" doesn't mean anything to me. What I want to do is grab his shoulders and fucking slam into him.

Maybe it's cliche to find the sexiest part of a man to be the muscles. Maybe I'm cliche. It's funny, though, I've never been into big showy muscles, six-packs and all that. I just want to feel the muscles, under the surface. To see an arm--clothed, smooth-skinned, average sized, little light hairs, entirely ordinary and civilized-looking--and wrap my hand around it and feel the hard little lump of animal beneath.

I like to fight back sometimes. Submission doesn't always mean serving yourself up on a silver platter, patiently holding every limb out for their convenience so they can tie it just so. Sometimes it means "if you can take me, you can have me." I'm strong enough to put up a fight and not so strong that I have to hold back. Getting hit, or fucked, or both, is a different thing when you're fighting back, With all your muscles working, with your mind and adrenaline racing, with your body poised to act rather than merely receive, sex changes. It transforms from a dynamic of a hard surface against a soft one, to two hardnesses, not in harmony but in delicious tension.


  1. Re your sensation of driving into Rowdy. See this BMJ article that includes MRIs of a couple having PIV intercourse. You have to scroll about halfway down, to the pair of images including the original MRI followed by a line-drawn overlay.

    The image has been around for a very long time (there are bound to be higher-resolution MRIs available.) What I like about it is that it shows the full size of the penis, not just the external part. Which is nearly as large as the outer part -- which sort of makes sense since unless it's going to flop around a lot an erection it has to be anchored somewhere.

    Anyway, what sprang to mind when I read your post was that in the image the inner part of the man's cock sits inside him in roughly the same place it sits inside his partner when penetration is complete.

    Point being that conceptually your mental image isn't *that* far removed from reality. Ok, it's fairly removed but not time zones apart. :-)


  2. The pectoral muscle is an excellent massage target between people who don't mind turn-on resulting from the massage (can be problematic for others). For women it's only possible to do a little strip of the top of it before the breast gets too thick; for men you can do the whole thing. Working women's pectorals tends to feel very good, my massage teacher told us it was because it's working to support the breast all the time.

    Any of the ordinary backrub techniques are good for pecs, but finger circle petrissage is an especially good choice for women because it's probably the deepest technique that can be used on the relatively small thin strip available. You might want to show this to Rowdy.

    Oil the skin. Press the pads of two or three fingers of each hand into the muscle, right next to each other. Then move the hands in little circles, about 1" diameter, one starting upward and one starting downward, making infinity symbols with the left hand making the left circle and the right hand the right circle. Both hands are circling the same way, but 180 degrees out of phase, so they're at the closest points at the same time, the farthest points at the same time, and one is at the top of the circle while the other is at the bottom. Like if you chalked the two side tires of a car at the closest points on the tires.

  3. Oops, forgot to add gradually move the circles all over the available part of the pecs.