Sunday, January 2, 2011


I usually don't do the New Year's Resolutions thing, because resolving to do something is very personal and not for a big public holiday, right? But then it turns out, often as not, that I don't actually make any February 17th Resolutions either, so surely conformity beats complacency.

I resolve to be okay with wanting what I want. I will not let myself feel unworthy, creepy, or "crazy" because I'm attracted to a person, or because I want a specific activity. I will never imagine that I have nothing to offer to others. I will also say what I want, rather than relying on psychic phenomena to orchestrate my sex life.

I resolve to be okay with not getting what I want. People have every right to say "no" and partners have every right to say "I don't want to do that," and there's nothing I can do to fix this whole "other people have free will" thing, and that's okay. It's no reason to be angry at them, angry at myself, or to in any way increase the net misery in my world.

I resolve to take things seriously. When I talk to or touch another person, that's happening for real, for keepsies, and although I may be joking or playing with them that doesn't mean I have any licence to be disrespectful or dishonest. And likewise, going "it's a joke, jeez" is no free pass for fucking with me. (This doesn't mean I'm anti-joke, or even anti-crude-joke. But I can tell the difference between "this insult is funny because it's absurd" and "this insult is funny because it's just so true.")

I resolve to not take things too seriously. A badly chosen word or misplaced touch, from an otherwise decent person, is not cause to bare my teeth and snarl. (In particular, a new person should not be cast out of the Feminist Club nor the Kinky Club because they don't know all the rules yet.) Not everyone has the exact same rules of ettiquette as me, and giving a little allowance can make situations go a lot smoother and keep people from just closing me out.

I resolve to learn how to educate as well as debate, to not always go straight to "here's why you're wrong, asshole," but when appropriate to say "here's why I believe what I do, and I hope you'll find some truth in it."

I resolve to find a job that sucks a bit less of my soul, and to only hold that job until, through entrepenuership or schooling, I have a career.

I resolve to make the Pervocracy better, shinier, more interesting, to revamp the site and make it more useful and appealing than this design from 2006 with the horrible background color. And every post should either enlighten, entertain, or educate; if all I can write is some blither that does none of the above, I just won't post that day. I also resolve not to say "just," "actually," "X, but Y" or use italics quite so often. Also I should get better about semicolons.

I resolve to keep my room a whole lot cleaner.

I resolve to pet my guinea pigs more.

I resolve to answer my email occasionally.

I resolve to sell, donate, or throw out all that stuff in the "misc. useless items" box. Okay, boxes.

I resolve to screw around on my boyfriend more. (I also resolve to screw around on my boyfriend.)

I resolve to go outside more.

I resolve to whine less.

I resolve to consume less and create more.

I resolve to never, ever, even a little bit, unless I torture a puppy or something, hate myself.

I resolve not to torture puppies.


  1. I can't tell whether "bodyfriend" is a typo or a thing, but I approve of your resolutions.

    Whew! I bet that's a relief!

  2. But... but... I like the Pervocracy the way it is!

    Otherwise, excellent resolutions and I may steal a few of them.

  3. Don't change a thing regarding your semicolons and italics. They're all lovely.

    May you get everything you want out of the new year. :)

  4. I love your writing style, and don't believe you should feel bad about it, Holly. And I also love that The Pervocracy is without all these bells and whistles some bloggers (or more specifically blogging services) are so fond of that ultimately do nothing but distract from the writing.
    But hey, if it dissatisfies you personally, New Years resolutions are as good a push as any to start changing it. Good luck!

    And of course Good Luck on the other resolutions, too! Or, in case of some of them, Have Fun!

  5. Echoing what 3:10 says, I love Pervocracy, I love your writing and your posts, and I'm sure I'll still love it if you change it.

  6. Yeah, I like the site design too. It's highly readable.

  7. I like the site design too! You don't need to make it shiny, because we're all here for your writing, not techy gadgets.

  8. I'm not going to make the site radically different and I'm certainly not going to bell-and-whistle it all up the ass--hell, I'll probably keep the old background color (at least as a component) for old times' sake. This isn't about to become The Sooper Shiny Multi-Function Javascript CSS XML PHP Community-Platform Reddit Twitter Digg Crowdsourced Login-Required Chat Forum Hub Pervocracy. Just, like, threaded comments? Instead of going "second anon down from three days ago - you're dumb!" you could have a thread about their dumbness! Wouldn't that be nice?

    As for the writing style... don't even worry, a leopard can't change its stripes.

  9. Erm. Don't even worry; a leopard can't change its stripes.

    So you see it's true.

  10. A lovely list of things to do and not do. Lookin forward to it, stripey leopard.