Glass would make more sense, wouldn't it? Isn't the hunky vegetarian vampire's body supposed to be so hard that diamonds shatter on him? I can imagine Stephanie Meyer throwing that thing across the room and shouting "DAMMIT! This fershlugginer thing is soft and flexy like some kind of . . . human or something!"
(I teach middle school . . . I had to read the books.)
Gotta agree with Don, glass would make more sense. Cold glass, hold the sparkles if you can tho. Btw, I read all Twilight series, and yeah it gets so damn silly sometimes, but surely I'm allowed one guilty pleasure? (hmm scratch that 'one'...)
HATE.
ReplyDeleteIt's so wrong . . . but I bet they sell millions. I actually had to call my wife over and show her that one.
ReplyDeleteCold and sparkly dildo in itself would not be bad (I like glass and metal ones best, after all), but the Twilight reference is a big NO.
ReplyDeleteGlass would make more sense, wouldn't it? Isn't the hunky vegetarian vampire's body supposed to be so hard that diamonds shatter on him?
ReplyDeleteI can imagine Stephanie Meyer throwing that thing across the room and shouting "DAMMIT! This fershlugginer thing is soft and flexy like some kind of . . . human or something!"
(I teach middle school . . . I had to read the books.)
Don - You know damn well that Stephenie Meyer, though she will profess no knowledge of it, already has three of these.
ReplyDeleteHell, she probably got 'em as a custom job and the company just kept the formula to mass-produce.
(A likely story.)
i thought i read somewhere that she was a strict mormon? :shrugs:
ReplyDeleteAnon - She's a Mormon, I don't know how strict.
ReplyDeleteBut she's also clearly bugnuts crazy for her own fictional man, so... yeah.
What's freaking me out is the comments section (which I hope is a joke, but probably isn't). One girl is fantasizing about Edward donkey-punching her.
ReplyDeleteI try to be a "live and let live" guy, but I reserve the right to think some shit is just weird.
Brock - I think the comments are awesome, they're definitely jokes.
ReplyDeleteHey now, if you're not allowed to market cigarettes to teens, you shouldn't be able to market dildos to them either.
ReplyDeleteJoe Camel, meet Edward... uh, whatever his name is.
Cullen.
ReplyDeleteI feel so dirty for even knowing.
Gotta agree with Don, glass would make more sense. Cold glass, hold the sparkles if you can tho. Btw, I read all Twilight series, and yeah it gets so damn silly sometimes, but surely I'm allowed one guilty pleasure? (hmm scratch that 'one'...)
ReplyDelete