So today after work I talked to (or possibly moped on) Alan, and Jesus, I don't appreciate him enough.
Not that he's some kind of perfect Love God or anything; he's not a huge romantic himself and sometimes he ticks me off, but he basically treats me the way you'd expect a guy to treat his girlfriend. Maybe better. He's nice, and fuck, nice guys finish first and women do like nice guys. He wants to do things besides sex together, he wants to make me happy, he wants to be my friend and also a pretty good fuck.
And I can say "You know, I really like you," and rather than going OMG NO MY PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS he'll say back "Aw, I like you too."
And we'll kiss.
And then we made plans to go to this cool bar in north Seattle that has really rare imported boozes and after we can get late-night breakfast by Greenlake and then we'll go home and get in bed and there won't be any holding down or slapping or buttfucking. But we'll hold each other very close and trust and care for each other, and that feels almost as good as getting rammed up the ass.