Monday, August 10, 2009

Sometimes the Internet makes me angry.

Sometimes the Internet makes me so mad. There's a blog post that pisses me off and it just sends me down a chain reaction of posts from other idiots, a never-ending idiot spiral and I read it all and I just want to physically fight the authors. Proving them wrong would be pointless, it's trivially obvious that they're wrong and that they'd never listen. Even linking them is pointless; their writing is too blatantly wrong to learn anything from and hostile comments would only give them self-righteousness. Hell, even punching them would just give them a nice martyr complex and a good post on "clearly she couldn't make any logical arguments against me..."

As I said, it's no specific idiot that's bothering me here. This guy, I guess, but I got to him via a link from an idiot and I left him via a link to an idiot, so he's not that special. Just sort of slightly more egregious, I guess? (Only one comment: he wants a woman who loves anal but who doesn't swear? Seriously now.)

Anyway, I'm no longer annoyed at what these guys say; I'm annoyed that I wasted my own time. I pay for my Internet connection, and I have limited time to use it, so I really shouldn't waste it on things that don't make me happy and don't teach me anything.

I should waste it instead in reporting that Benny (not a new character, but I'm revamping my pseudonyms; I'll fix up the archives soon) gave me an orgasm just from my breasts! Which is not precisely new because it happened once or twice when I was a teenager, but it's been a few years. He'd just fucked me the regular way and I was in that ecstatic state where my whole skin is hypersensitive, where I'm desperate to cuddle and kiss not just for fuzzyhuggy reasons but because skin contact feels so fucking good.

He put his whole mouth over my breast, not teasing but fucking eating it, his mouth hot and wet and not holding back on the teeth, and I moaned. He rolled me over onto my stomach and lay on top of me with his hands reaching around to my breasts and just squeezed and worked them, not gently, and it felt amazing. More than amazing, he kept at it forcefully and the feeling reached a peak and then I couldn't even tolerate any more and I realized I had just come. I was panting and my breasts were flushed and tender as I rolled back over, and I think he was a little amazed.


  1. Fortunately, I didn't waste too much time on the guy you linked to. I got to this part:

    "Guys, you may take this quiz for your girlfriends or wives to see if you have settled for tepid sex once a week or if you always get hard looking at her and never forget her birthday."

    I think I'm old (and intelligent) enough to decide for myself how I feel about my relationships without reading any further. I have a hard time believing that the asshat who wrote "The Sixteen Commandments of Poon" (clearly an unappreciated masterpiece *rolls eyes*) is qualified to say what anyone (male or female) is worth when he's so obviously a trivial shell of a human being.

  2. "Unlike the men who took my Male Dating Market Value test, I do not expect *any* women to be completely honest with themselves taking the Female Dating Market Value test. The female ego is simply way too fragile to absorb the shock of such a brutal self-assessment. Therefore, I will be mentally subtracting 10 points from every woman who posts her score here in the comments."

    Plus the whole test. I seriously think that nothing has reduced my belief in men as much as this. Fortunately these kind of guys must be rare. Right? Right??

  3. Wow, I ended up way in the negatives on that quiz. Awesome! Means assholes like him will never want me.

    Also, my inner feminist is offended that I am expected to smile at every male who approaches me, among his other "ideas" of what typical female "game" is.

  4. The internet was designed for the express purpose of making people angry, I sometimes think. I know it certainly works for me on a very regular basis.

    Unfortunately, it usually does so by providing a clear look at the outside world, so there's not really any way to escape it. Unless I had like, a Saturn V, perhaps.

  5. Ooops. Logged into the wrong account there. That last one was me.

  6. Brock - Wow, I missed that part. "I thought I loved her and we had good times together, but now I see that she's a -12! I was so wrong!"

    Anon 1 - Actually, he's kind of right about that one. Anyone seeking his approval does have some problems.

    Anon 2 - I didn't bother to tabulate myself, but the whole thing basically comes down to:

    "Are you fat? Subtract 100 points. Are you sexually submissive? Add 20 points."

    He really didn't need to make it so elaborate.

  7. I found the linked post funnier than anything. My favorite part was how, if your IQ is above average, you will not be able to connect emotionally with a man. For as misogynistic an exercise as it was, that was one *hell* of a slam on men.

  8. That test was just insane. And the writer HAS to be under 30, probably under 25.

  9. My stupid, let me show you it.

  10. Nice job Benny... not everyday you can manage that.

  11. Okay, so you feel their attitudes, practices in partner-seeking, values, and feelings are Teh Evil and dangerous, and Someone Is Wrong on the Internet and they haven't noticed the objections enough to reply. (Although Amanda Marcotte DID go there and there was a bit of an exchange both there and a massive one on Pandagon, to the tune of 2000 comments on the blog-that-must-not-be-named and approaching 700 on Marcotte's Pandagon.)

    There is plenty of calling-out, etc, going on, and I have been GLAD to be a limited participant in the fray. I dealt with a lot of pro-and-anti-Israel hostility until I gave up commenting on those blogs, and, well, I admire your discretion and blogular fortitude.

  12. Um, when you're done "revamping the pseudonyms" in your posts, you'll want to revamp the pseudonyms in people's comments, too ... >_>

  13. William said...
    That test was just insane. And the writer HAS to be under 30, probably under 25.

    On his men's test he gives 26-34 years old the +1 point, so I think it's safe to assume that's his own range.

    I got a lot of the PUA vibe from those tests.

  14. I don't care that this post is a month old. I need to comment. That dating test made my face hurt. I am nauseated and I think I can feel the bone creaking in my skull as my head muscles contort in physically improbably ways as I try to soak the mind boggling, throat clenching, eye-bulging unpleasantness of that morally bankrupt dating value system.

    PS: congrats on the mammarial orgasm. M-spot? That's really cool.

    PPS: MY FACE!!