Saturday, August 1, 2009

Literotica boobytraps.

So there's this site Literotica that's a pretty huge repository of free, somewhat sorted filthy stories and, in that way, a great wanking resource. (Protip: they give out that little "honors" icon for anything sort of resembling English. Your browsing will go faster if you pretend the non-honors ones are invisible.)

But you have to be careful, because many of the stories are boobytrapped. You'll be going along enjoying the story and then...

"...Then Jane's mom walked into the room."
Oh no no no. I know where this is going. It's the second largest category on Literotica after their catchall "general sex" one and I don't know why. Close that one. Pick another.

"...Then Jane said 'I want you to taste me, lover,' and squatted over John's face and started to squeeze out..."
OH GOD. Close it. Try again.

"i love my Master so much He is the only One who knows what is right for me and i spend all day worshipping at His feet and i only breathe at His command and there is no actual sex in this story just so much deliriously capitalized F/fawning."
Well, whatever floats your boat, honey, but I can't wank to it.

"Then he started to fuck my pussy! Oh my god! It was so exciting! It was like the sexiest thing ever!"
Like, OMG, sex! OMG!

"then he fuked huer in teh pusy and tehn the as and it ws sexy cus shw was a re\l hrny biatc"
Sometimes these have "honors" marks. It's unsettling. And possibly randomly generated by machine.

I should write my own Literotica stories if I have such high fancy-pants standards, I suppose. Maybe I will. It's kind of discouraging adding your story to a pile 50,000 deep in mompoopsex, but I don't really know of any other major, free, web 2.0-y, topic-sorted Internet sex story venues. I'd appreciate any recommendations.

30 comments:

  1. I sometimes go to sexstoriespost.com. It's decent enough as far as content.

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  2. go to google groups alt.sex.stories.moderated. there are all kinds of stories groups.

    http://groups.google.com/grphp?hl=en&tab=wg

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  3. Asstr.org is the best out there... They also have a collections link where people have compiled their favorites so you don't have to wade through shit.

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  4. If you do put anything up you totally have to give up some links.

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  5. Nifty.org has anything non-completely heterosexual and OH MY GOD it's mostly ridiculous, but some of it's pretty hot. There's certainly a lot of everything (at least in the gay male sections). Obviously, the bestiality section is the best if you're looking for laughs. I think I once showed you a story wherein an anthropologist got fucked by a bunch of gorillas and their "huge nineteen inch gorilla cocks" and you pointed out that gorillas actually don't pack all that much. ALSO, I think I once read a story where a fifty-something dude got fucked by an octopus, and a thirteen-year-old boy by a dolphin.

    But I swear! There's good stuff, too!

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  6. http://www.bdsmlibrary.com seems right up your alley.

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  7. I've been to Literotica before, a few years ago, and most of the stories were boring as hell. This is in a large part because I can't take it seriously enough to hold my interest with a handful of random characters that I just met. Now, if it had been preceded by half a novel's worth of relationship development before getting to the sex, instead of like 2 or 3 paragraphs, then I can get into it.

    The humor category is tolerable, however, because it's deliberately silly and/or ridiculous.

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  8. I should write my own Literotica stories if I have such high fancy-pants standards, I suppose.

    Quickly browsing through them would lead me to conclude the standards wouldn't have to be that high.

    Yeeks. ASSTR for the win, I suppose.

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  9. "You get what you pay for..."

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  10. Unfortunately, written porn is extremely cliquish and, seriously, any sort of large archive brings out the worst of the genre. Avoid them like plague. :P

    Usually, it takes a lot of searching to find the good authors, but unfortunately, that IS rather counterproductive.

    So I leave you with this:

    http://community.livejournal.com/weepingcock/

    ;)

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  11. WEEPINGCOCK! Funniest shit ever. I'm a fan of bandslash, so I frequent www.afislash.com, which contains quite an amount of gay fiction. All the submissions are screened, so you're at least guaranteed something that isn't typed by a spambot or a stupid girl. I spend a shit-ton of time looking for decent porn, and I've gotten used to hunting through stuff to get to the good fics.

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  12. LMAO!!! Those examples you shared are freakin' hilarious! I think it's why I took so long to start writing myself. I didn't want to be part of an over-saturated market. Yet, here I am. Forget the awards, you have a generous following of people that appreciate what you have to say. What more is needed?

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  13. There's some decent stuff at storiesonline.net. Mandatory free registration for some reason (if they have ads, I've never noticed).

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  14. http://www.pixies-place.com:81/erotic.php

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  15. Sadly, literotica seems to be the best of the bunch. There must be some kind of law that says "most of everything is crap". Especially when you allow any old perv to upload stuff. You just have to sort out the chaff, but it's worth doing.

    As one suggestion, try http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=664000&page=submissions

    Don't know if that series will rock your boat, but for me, it worked.

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  16. Just found your blog (by way of Figleaf).

    Having been to Literotica several times, I sympathize with your experiences there. I've just about given up on it.

    I don't know any specific web sites for you to check out, but this blog: http://dirtyboy2.blogspot.com/
    has a lot of archived posts that are fun to browse.

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  17. asstr.org
    It's been forever since I've read anything there, but that's because of time.

    The ~mcstories (mind-control) archive has stories coded for content, so you can avoid the scat, incest, non-consensual stuff.

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  18. The tags (http://tags.literotica.com) aren't as helpful as you would expect; the problems are imperfect redundancy ("fsub" and "female submissive" and "submissive female" have some overlap but not all, and there's no rhyme or reasoning to what stories/aspects are in which category), no way to exclude certain tags (i.e., "bondage" but not "mom"), and, related to the first, some confusion over what the tags are (some are random phrases from the story, some are descriptors).

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  19. The board reminds me of a racist anti-white or some sort of black power board.

    Very sad. Not a good place at all.

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  20. Literotica.com is a very racist forum. Most of the real posters have left there. It is mostly paid posters that are left.

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  21. RoryN
    I love posting my black power and killwhitey stories. People dig them!

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  22. Literotica is the crappiest stories site ever and the writers are pure shit.

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  23. If you don't like incest (perhaps non mum-walks-in but tastefully deranged) you are not a gentleman or a scholar.

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  24. Literotica is a big scam and their forums are unmoderated and filled with pedophiles and under age posters. I'm surprised the site hasn't been shut down yet.

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  25. I've found http://lustylibrary.com to be a pretty good story resource.

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  26. Chiming in three years late, but http://adultfanfiction.net/ is pretty good. Like it says on the tin, it's mostly fanfic, but it does have a large original section. And a search bar.

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  27. Old post, but if anyone finds themselve here... Gaggedutopia - google it. Great bdsm stories! :)

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  28. http://stories.xnxx.com/ Far from perfect but a step up from literotica at least.

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  29. Chiming in many years late, but my personal wanking resource is Archive of Our Own (AO3). If you can put up with the fact that it's fanfiction, it's a massive resource with a lot of great writing, and the tag system is quite well wrangled. So you can search for 'underage' and 'bondage' (just...uh, as a hypothetical) and order them by the amount of 'Kudos' given to ensure you won't get any horrendous stuff.

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