Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Pretty.

Being around kinky people tends to make me feel pretty. Which is not something I feel around normal people; there's some part of my brain that internalized the message "you are a total dog" around age 12 and will never totally let it go. But around kinky people, even when I'm not getting any play, I feel desirable. Even if nobody at all is saying "yes" to me, at least I feel like I'm being taken seriously as a sexual being.

I guess it's because in Kinkland, I have something to offer. Sometimes I feel (unfairly, I'm sure) that in Vanilla-land, because the range of activities is narrower, appearance matters more. In Kinkland, just the fact that I'm an eager and horny submissive gets me some points. (And likewise, a guy I might not give the time of day under other circumstances gets a whole lot of bonus points for being sexily dominant or super-skilled with rope.)

It's also because the kink world in general is pretty size-positive. It's almost impossible to go to a munch and feel like "the big girl," and it's pretty hard to go to one and not meet a guy who likes big girls.

In a funny way, I also feel prettier in Boston than I did in Seattle. I don't know if it's because I've been moving in kinkier circles here, or I was older and more confident when I got here, but I also feel like there's more women here who look like me, and more men willing to take me seriously. I'm not sure if this perception is true or not, but either way... I feel much prettier now than ever before in my life, and I really love it.

11 comments:

  1. Man, Boston has been just like crack for you so far, ain't it?

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  2. Hole-y is a Butt SlutJune 9, 2010 at 5:30 AM

    There is no way that YOU can feel pretty. You are too ugly for that.

    I also feel prettier in Boston than I did in Seattle.

    Different shades of ugly is not pretty, butt-slut.

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  3. Jack - Oh man, yeah. I'm so glad I moved out here. Maybe it's just change that I really like, maybe I'll have to move on eventually, but right now I'm just loving it.

    Butt-slut - You know, that would sting a lot worse if you knew what I looked like.

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  4. I started feeling pretty when I hung around more with nerds, that is people who thought it was sexy that I actually have a brain, too, instead of the usual running away as soon as I open my mouth.

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  5. I'm glad you moved out here to. You add an interesting new flavor of crazy to the people I know. :)

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  6. If it makes you happy darling, personally, I think they need to spray for Kennedys and other household pest myself.

    Coulda been worse,
    Coulda been San Francisco.

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  7. Hole-y is a Butt SlutJune 9, 2010 at 11:58 AM

    I don't have to know what you look like! There's no way you can be as pretty as ~*~ME~*~. I am the fairest of them all.

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  8. Hole-y, I can tell you haven't been reading this site long.

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  9. There's nothing that makes me want to put all my trust in men more than hearing about how they might kill me otherwise.

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  10. Next up: How abolition creates violence against slaves! Those uppity niggers sure had it better when they worked 16 hours a day for free. Why did they have to go and ruin it for themselves?

    [Yes, that's an over-the-top parody, but the point is that giving up freedom out of fear is never a good answer.]

    As for the article itself, the problem isn't women failing to appease potentially violent men. The problem is men being encouraged to keep their negative feelings locked deep inside until they break. And when they break, some of them go violently insane... and it's not even women encouraging them to do that, usually, but other men.

    Of course people who want to blame women for this ignore the much more common incidents where they shoot up their workplace [boss issues] or some random fast-food restaurant [culture issues] or their local government office [government issues] instead of their wife and a few random women [spouse issues].

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