Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Crisis averted.

I found a lump in my breast. I panicked for a moment. I have to see a doctor now! No, I have to see a doctor as soon as these gigantic black bruises on my breasts go away, because in my last bout of illness I had enough "that's just a hickey... I guess I bruise easy... YES I FEEL SAFE AT HOME" to last me all year.

(It makes me sad, in a way, that no one ever comes to the ER with identifiable BDSM marks. Or even hickeys! I have noticed, however, though most women don't groom their pubes, a surprisingly large number of men shave their chests. Makes EKGs easier.)

And then the lump went away. Guess it was just a hematoma.

I'm a little bit on the fence about whether I should go get poked at and mammographied anyway, but since I'm only 25 and I can't picture a way to tell the story to my doctor, I think I'll just let it go. I'm pretty sure cancer that size doesn't just heal in a couple days.

...Although if it does, shit, I need to get this to the attention of the medical community but STAT.


  1. Yay! Lumps are so ridiculously scary. Glad all is well. Big hugs!

  2. You could maybe look for a doctor on the kink-aware professionals list at, and then not have to worry about explaining bruises.

  3. Maybe this is a stupid question but can't you just tell the doctor that you're into BDSM?

    "Don't worry, my bruises are all consensual" seems a lot less suspicious than a defensive/lying reaction to me.

    Or you could wink and say "You should see the other guy!" - I've always wanted an opportunity to do that.

  4. Telling them the truth was always my policy but Holly might be in the hospital she works at, or may someday work at.

    I also often smile and say "It was a gift." People work that out and then usually decide they do not want to know more.

    Also, it's funny. When I first met my current doc, who is wonderful, I gave her the whole shebang. Poly, so somewhere in the middle of the STD risk profile; kinky, so may sometimes have random bruises.

    She added the first to my file. The second, she paused, and then decided not to add it. I don't know if there just isn't a field in the computer for it or if she was concerned about future practitioners seeing it and treating me differently.

  5. because in my last bout of illness I had enough "that's just a hickey... I guess I bruise easy... YES I FEEL SAFE AT HOME" to last me all year.

    I really do bruise easily, and every damn time I see a doctor I have to explain how I got each and every bruise to their satisfaction, which is bad, because I bruise so easily I rarely know how I got the bruise. In fact, I often don't notice the bruise until they point it out. Hilariously, my hubby, who is literally 2.5 times my size, will wail, "Well, I don't feel safe at home!" as soon as I say I do.

    though most women don't groom their pubes, a surprisingly large number of men shave their chests. Makes EKGs easier.

    My husband was the man-o-lantern after an emergency EKG. That takes about 9 months to grow out. I giggled every time he took off his shirt. He did not find it so funny.

  6. PersonalFailure - Big guys with small wives sometimes aren't safe at home. Given that marital abuse is rarely a MMA situation with both "opponents" fighting fairly and to the best of their abilities, weight classes don't necessarily mean anything.

    We generally don't shave for EKGs unless it's a real emergency and/or a real furball. We'll do alternate placements or just sort of find a spot among the fur. (Usually only the V1 and V2 leads are affected, since most guys don't have a lot of hair in the V3-V6 zone, and there's generally a couple bare patches somewhere on the limbs.)

  7. Not all doctors are very understanding about the "those bruises are the result from something entirely consensual"

    Last time I was a the emergency with a girl (it wasn't even from sex, it was from some silly game while drunk) I was kindly asked to leave the room while they asked her some questions.

    My current FwB bruise incredible easily, and she likes being subjected to pain, her previous doctor was quite troublesome, since he always assumed she was being beaten (in a non-consensual way). Luckily her new doctor is able to comprehend that her bruises doesn't necessarily mean that she's in a abusive relationship.

    Which incidentally is the reason that I'm moving from my current doctor to the one she uses, even if he's a fair bit of travel away. Though it is usually more the approach of "who beat you up? And why are you covering for them" instead of "do you feel safe at home?" when I have bruises.

  8. Martial arts types have trouble with this too. It's recommended to have some pictures of yourself performing the bruising activity. That might or might not help with BDSM, depending on what your activities of choice look like. Probably not.

    It's a shame--the desire to help abused individuals is real and laudable, but it does make a problem for all of us who have consensual bruises from time to time, and that's a lot of people.

  9. Being a clumsy doofus I sometimes get this too. I had a lot of trouble back when I did modeling because my legs and arms ALWAYS have bruises on them- I'd take my pants off and the makeup artist would groan and run off to get the heavy duty airbrush. Doctors seem to be a little more understanding though. "Where did you get this bruise?" "Uh, I don't know about that one, but I got this one next to it from running into a filing cabinet." Then they usually just shrug and go on with the exam.