Another day, another woman threatened with the release of a sex tape. Because it would totally ruin her if anyone knew she had consensual private sex with her own husband. Except it kind of would (not as bad as ten years ago, maybe, but see her try to do anything with children or government now--the mere fact that this made international news tells you we as a society aren't exactly cool about it), so, yuck.
Every time one of these comes out, the water-cooler talk is the same: "This is why I'd never make a sex tape. You just don't know where it'll end up! I'd never do anything like that!"
And that's damn right, I would never make a sex tape!
Other things I would never do include: getting pregnant by accident, staying in an abusive relationship, gaining weight, losing weight, getting upset because of something that was said to me, putting up with sexual harassment, getting in debt, saying something rash on the Internet, getting drunk, giving in to social pressure, or making any bad or irrational decisions ever in my entire life.
As someone whose life contains absolutely no mistakes, flaws, or unexpected circumstances, I just can't muster up any sympathy for these... these humans.
I eagerly await the day that "there is embarrassing stuff about me on the Internet" is a non-issue, because everyone has embarrassing stuff about them on the Internet.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't make a sex tape for the excellent reason that no one needs to see my bony pasty-white ass when they're trying to jerk off.
It seems like kind of a non-story. She says he threatened to release the tapes. He says he didn't (kinda wink-wink style, though.) Whatever.
ReplyDeleteShe went public, so she's basically defused the bomb. There's not going to be a whole lot of shock now one way or the other.
Hrm. It would seem there's got to be something you could charge a fucker like that with. At the very least, he'd deserve to be spat upon by any decent sort anywhere he goes if he did such a thing.
ReplyDeleteI've got pictures that a number of women have been kind enough to let me take over the years. Even with the ones I had a, erm, hostile end with, it would never occur to me to post them anywhere. That would be simply horrendously caddish.
I do grasp your original point though, I think. The fallout for her would be a lot worse than for him. There's basically no negative consequence for a guy, even if the tape gets released against his will (unless she's like, a fattie or something equally horrifying) [lacking appropriate "ironic" font, trying to mock the attitude here, not endorse it], just a "Whoa ho! Got frisky and she let you tape it!" sort of thing, whereas a woman , well, she must be some sort of harlot for letting anyone tape her doing that.
*sigh*
I hope that made sense.
Your list of other things you'd never do doesn't contain many parallels to making a sex tape. Ideally, anything between consenting adults blah blah blah, but the limits not making a sex tape places on one's autonomy seem not so much of a burden.
ReplyDeleteThe degree of shaming that happens when sex tapes are released is really sickening. Often on supposedly feminist websites too. That's what I like about you're blog, you're consistent with the treating-people-like-people thing.
ReplyDeleteI've got pictures that a number of women have been kind enough to let me take over the years. Even with the ones I had a, erm, hostile end with, it would never occur to me to post them anywhere.
ReplyDeleteLikewise, genders reversed. I treat my cache of pictures with utmost respect and secrecy: I want good karma so boys will continue to let me photograph them naked! That's just common sense.
One of my guy friends said to me that "Chicks feel like a naked photograph of them will steal their soul, or something" and yup, that's exactly right (for a lot of women, myself included). Luckily, dudes for the most part seem totally keen to show off. This means that I've gotten eye-slapped by dozens of unsolicited cock shots from strangers in my lifetime BUT it also means that ex-lovers will occasionally send me visual numnums just to make me happy. So it averages out okay. :)
This has become topical again, and this time her response kinda was "I had sex with a consenting adult, and I regret it because he turned out to be an asshole, but I'm not ashamed of it"
ReplyDelete