Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Girl Clothing.

Benny keeps nagging me to wear skirts, stockings, makeup, heels, highly frippy underwear, lingerie for Christ's sake. He wants me to get my nails done. He once, without a trace of irony, told me my pores were too big. Apparently I need to use more skin products. I explained that I already use two, if soap and water count separately.

It's funny that I'm willing to accommodate lots of bizarre fetishes, but when he says things like "you'd look good in a dress," I'm deeply offended. Maybe it's some gender expression issue, maybe it's just my personal taste, but when I'm dressed very girly I feel cross-dressed. It's awkward and embarrassing.

(Not that I dress like a man. But I'm a pants girl, you know? I can wear lace on denim, I can't wear lace on lace.)

"Spread your ass for me, bitch": Erotic, thrilling, kind of oddly empowering.
"You should really wear lipstick": Hell no, that's just wrong.

Go figure.


  1. Bruno - I have accepted your change of life and hope we can still be close in... other ways.

  2. I don't think my frail ego can handle that. And poor you: "you resigned yourself to the role of initiator."

    My new mantra: "Sexier times are right around the corner."

  3. Gah, I'm already the initiator. I think that if I weren't cursed with a powerful instinct to remove his clothing, Brandon would just cuddle on the couch with me for the entire duration of an evening.

    ...Which the mush side of my head would probably go wobbly for. Pity I don't have the self-control.

  4. You'll do stockings but not a dress?
    I can say, after wearing a kilt once to a formal dinner, that a skirt has LOTS of possibilities.

  5. Scott - Augh, I will do it, but... I'll do it as a sex thing, not a gender thing. If you get my increasingly idiosyncratic gist?

    If you say "skirts are hot, I want to put my hands up your skirt," I'll say "all righty!" If you say "since you're a girl, you should wear a skirt," I'll say "fuck you, man!"

    I'm happy to wear all manner of frippy things in bed, but I want to think of them the same way I do about leather collars--fun for a game, but not part of my life.

  6. Actually, that entirely makes sense. Suggesting attire for sex play is fine, great, input always appreciated. Suggesting gender-normative clothing for everyday non-sexual use is fucking offensive on the level of demanding that you wear a leash and collar when you go to the grocery store.

    Personally, I would have punched him. But that's just me.

  7. See, and I'm thinking that it's easier to get laid outside of the bedroom if you're wearing a skirt. Like toll money. Or an insurance policy.
    My wife likes me in tighter jeans than I'd prefer. It gets me laid because she digs it. I'm all over that. The jeans I wear when I'm out with her are on the tight side.

    For what it's worth, I understand what you mean, but you've gotta turn your frown upside down, so to speak.

  8. I get it. I'm happy to wear anything that doesn't severely interfere with things like breathing for sex play purposes, but rumpled jeans and t-shirts and such are who I am- I am totally uncomfortable in radically different garb. It has absolutely nothing to do with gender or feminism or anything more meta, I'm just not a person who wears garters and stockings and skirts and dresses. I'd feel- and because I'd feel that way, look- like a chimp in people clothing.

    Dressing up as someone else is awesome for sex purposes. Not so much for anything else except Halloween. Then it's just pretending to be someone you aren't and maybe don't even like to please someone else.