Benny keeps nagging me to wear skirts, stockings, makeup, heels, highly frippy underwear, lingerie for Christ's sake. He wants me to get my nails done. He once, without a trace of irony, told me my pores were too big. Apparently I need to use more skin products. I explained that I already use two, if soap and water count separately.
It's funny that I'm willing to accommodate lots of bizarre fetishes, but when he says things like "you'd look good in a dress," I'm deeply offended. Maybe it's some gender expression issue, maybe it's just my personal taste, but when I'm dressed very girly I feel cross-dressed. It's awkward and embarrassing.
(Not that I dress like a man. But I'm a pants girl, you know? I can wear lace on denim, I can't wear lace on lace.)
"Spread your ass for me, bitch": Erotic, thrilling, kind of oddly empowering.
"You should really wear lipstick": Hell no, that's just wrong.