Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Diff'rent Strokes.

Benny (and every other partner I've had) has woman-on-top sex in the "normal" way--man holds more or less still, woman moves back and forth or up and down. If the man wants more control, he grabs the woman's waist and guides/shoves her movements.

Alan does it differently. He wants me to get on top, leave an inch of space, and hold still while he thrusts up from the bed. It looks terribly strenuous to me, but he seems to love it and if I start moving he'll tell me to stop. Just let him do his thing.

It feels fine to me, but I always think it's funny that he doesn't know he's weird. There's no awareness that "It's weird but it works for me;" as far as he's concerned, that's just how you do it. The first couple times he was amused that I didn't instantly understand what he was trying to do.

Sex is such a private thing that if you're straight and don't watch or read hardcore porn you never really know how your gender "normally" participates in sex. I'm sure he got hints from other girlfriends and whatnot, but in a sense, Alan invented sex himself.

It's amazing he got as many things right as he did. Coulda ended up in my bellybutton or something.


  1. "It's amazing he got as many things right as he did. Coulda ended up in my bellybutton or something."

    ^^^ Best line ever award.

    That's too funny.

  2. Does porn represent actual sex? I'd be more worried about someone getting the wrong idea by watching it than by avoiding it (in the absence of other influences, of course).

    By the way, here's something to think about: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=20071228-000001&page=1

  3. Most guys I've been with have alternated in their on-the-bottom technique- a minute of me moving, a minute of them moving, etc. Now I'm wondering if that's an effect of me not doing it well. :)

  4. Karyn - Thanks!

    Bruno - I don't think porn makes you better at sex (god no), but it makes you more conventional. It suggests a social norm.

    The smell thing's interesting, because Brandon smells far better to me than Jon does. Jon's an Ashkenazi Jew with ancestors in the same regions as mine, which realistically means he's, uh, probably my cousin on some level. Brandon is Native American and any relatives we've got in common probably hunted mammoths. So maybe I'm detecting the greater genetic variety Brandon would offer my offspring.

    But then I got to the part about the pill switching things (ergh, would that make my dad the sexiest man of all?) and of course my perceptions of the boys' stink didn't change, and I think I have to conclude that outside of double-blind isolated tests there are way too many confounding factors.

  5. Sarah - I don't think so. In my experience when I suck at it the guy just rolls me over and gets on top. Maybe that alternating thing is just what works for you.

  6. Funny enough almost all of the men I've slept with (discounting the few virgins) who've had woman on top with me have done the same thing as you're describing as he does.
    I tend to find that the thinner/leaner/lankier guys do that, bigger guys don't so much.

    Wow, I kinda sounds like a slut here...oh well

  7. Dorkie - Maybe my own idea of "normal" is just ignorant here.

    Here at the Pervocracy we love and respect sluttiness! Unless you read Cosmo.

  8. oh good, I'll continue with my whore-ish ways.

    But, cosmo is like, so insightful, pillows, who knew?