Saw Mr. Neon again tonight. I'm starting to really warm up to him as a person, but there's just no sexual component. All my thoughts on him are along the lines of "God, I'd love to see him get out of those clothes... and into some warmer ones so we could go hiking together." I enjoy spending time with him, but there's something horrifyingly panty-drying about the experience. It's weird because he's a good-looking guy--almost out of my league, he's younger than me and in great shape and super-cute--but I have no sexy feelings about him. Maybe he was born without pheromones or something.
He's certainly not sexually assertive, and it's hard for me to distinguish among shyness, politeness, and disinterest. I was kind of shocked when he kissed me on the lips, because I'd almost convinced myself that he'd friend-zoned me.
Meh, meh, and meh. I've never been this sexually unattracted to someone I respect as a person. He's such a nice guy, I'd love to have him in my life, but I just don't know how I could fuck him.
I think my psyche is saving all its lust for married men, men who live very far away, men who don't like me, straight women, gay men, and fictional characters.
Anyway, I've got a different date tomorrow night. (Really tonight by now.) Maybe this one will be spicier. Maybe he'll be Mr., I dunno, Oxygen!