Sunday, January 10, 2010

How to give a blowjob.

In my limited experience, of course. Your mileage will vary and men are all unique penis snowflakes. So tip number zero is communicate--listen to his reactions and straight-up ask him what he likes, and always take his word over what you think guys like. But these are some hints I've found useful.



1. Want it. Love it. Very few of the mechanical details matter if you don't love his cock. This isn't you doing something for him, this is the two of you doing it together. Take pleasure in through your mouth. Explore his cock and enjoy it.

2. Start slow and build. If you start at 500 RPM you'll either finish him before he's begun or tire yourself out. Start with an "I could do this all day" pace and mindset, then get worked up as he does.

3. A gentle--really gentle!--hand on the base of the cock and the balls is nice for most guys. You can lick the balls too, but generally don't suck on them.

4. For that matter, don't suck too much at all. A little suction can be nice I guess, but most guys don't like hard vacu-sucking. A blowjob is neither blowing nor sucking; it's fucking with your mouth.

5. Careful of your teeth. Practice on your thumb to figure out how to do this comfortably--it's easier for me to just use relaxed lips and an open jaw than to actually wrap my lips over my teeth.

6. Get and keep everything absolutely sloppy wet. You can't drool too much here. It's hard to give a blowjob when you're dehydrated and I don't recommend it.

7. Depending on the guy and your own preferences, this can be halfway a handjob. Your hand isn't as soft and wet as your mouth, but it can provide much firmer pressure and reach further back. Giving a handjob with your mouth just on the head can be fun.

8. I can't say much about deep throating because, honestly, it makes me gag really bad. But based on that, I can tell you that guys are quite satisfied if you don't deep throat.

9. If it feels natural and you want to, masturbate or stroke your breasts, or take his hand and put it on your fun bits. Or do the whole deal with a toy in a fun place. He'll be more excited, but that's a side effect--it'll be a whole lot more fun for you.

10. Again, if it's natural, make some noise. An excited little moan around his cock will mean a lot.

11. Spit, swallow, or facial, I don't think it matters that much (although I always swallow because it's like some point of pride with me). The important thing is to keep up some sort of stimulation while he's coming and taper down fast as he finishes. Guys go pretty quickly from "please don't stop" to "please don't touch it," and it took me some practice to learn to finish gracefully.



Ugh. I should go fucking write for fucking Cosmo or something. At least none of these are generally painful.

17 comments:

  1. Bravo! You just described the perfect blowjob. Probably the best points, in my opinion, are 1 and 6.

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  2. "I should go fucking write for fucking Cosmo or something." Well, wouldn't THAT be the ultimate irony!

    It all sounds like good advice to me. I think step #1 is the most important.

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  3. Get and keep everything absolutely sloppy wet. You can't drool too much here. It's hard to give a blowjob when you're dehydrated and I don't recommend it.
    In my (limited) experience, this is the point most women miss.

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  4. Number 1 is very probably the difference between my first girlfriend (bad at head) and my second/current (good at head)

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  5. A gentle--really gentle--hand on the base of the cock and balls...

    Well... Not _too_ gentle.

    Penis snowflakes, QED.

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  6. Amen to all this! I use all these techniques too. :) I have discovered you can minimize the gag reflex while deep-throating by focusing on breathing through your nose, but I also have little-to-no gag reflex to start with so that may not be effective for everyone. I have also found that relaxed lips and open mouth while holding pressure against/stroking the frenulum with your tongue as you go is usually well appreciated.

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  7. z - Nose-breathing does nothing; I have a terrible gag reflex, a small mouth, and a lot of respiratory problems, deep throat is just out of the question. I can barely get through dentist visits. (Fun story: when I was a kid I had a dental hygienist tell me as I was gagging "if you barf I'll make you swallow it." Amazing the shit I'd meekly accept as a kid that would have me out of that chair and demanding to speak to a goddamn supervisor as an adult.)

    I agree about the tongue thing though, and I'd add that broad soft-tongued laps over the head, or a bit of tongue swirly action as you move your mouth up and down the shaft, also generally work nicely.

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  8. I think the most important thing is related to point 1 (and without that, I simply will not enjoy it at all); don't take it for granted that just because you're sucking his dick, he's going to like it.

    Seriously, most women seem to think that head is some magic thing that auto-gasms the guy they're doing it with.

    Then there's that particularly useless subset of women who seem to think that we should feel honored they deigned to put their little princess faces next to our awful man bits.

    I don't like oral sex for the most part, because most people are really bad at it. Of course, that makes me appreciate good oral all the more.

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  9. WORD UP on point #1! (Likewise, I wouldn't want anyone's mouth on my cunt if they weren't going to enjoy that.)

    As to starting slow and revving up... you may also enjoy varying the tempo. Speeding up for a while and then slowing way down again, teasing, etc., before accelerating again...

    Yum.

    flightless

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  10. I found this article to be extremely well written (as par for the course with your blog) and very potentially helpful. On the other hand, I'd feel like a jerk showing this to some girls I know. How do I share this information without sounding like I'm insulting a lady?

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  11. So very glad I read this before giving my first blowjob. Just wanted to say: thank you.

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  12. Small tip for those who gag even when not deep-throating: yawning relaxes your throat very nicely.

    And as said above, if you don't want it, don't do it :)

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  13. My woman suffers from a dry mouth (insufficient saliva production) as a result of radiation therapy. Got any tips?

    Great blog BTW

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    Replies
    1. Lube! Flavoured helps, but most doesn't taste too bad.

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  14. Nice article the notion that you just have to put a cock in your mouth to please a guy is annoying stereotypical shit. It contributes to women given terrible fellatio.

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  15. "How do I share this information without sounding like I'm insulting a lady?"
    Giving someone you have sex with information about how to pleasure you (and assuming you will listen to her/him when s/he does) can't ever be an insult. It's incredible sexy to listen to a guy who knows his body and desires and shares this knowledge (that the other person can't magically just have, cause it's not her/his body) with you so you both will enjoy each other even more.
    Maybe it's not the best advice to bring that topic up when she's got your dick in her mouth. Maybe something more like "hey, i love to get blowjobs, especially when you go like (whatever it is)..." In my experience, a partner that cares for you will be eager to try it and be turned on by turning you on.

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  16. This seems like a nice article. Also, Maybe you can edit this so that cock doesn't equal guy? It's rather cissexist.

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