A little while ago, Quizzical Pussy posted about My New Pink Button, which is labia dye. Because your labia are obviously the wrong color right now.
(Also, her blog is great and you should read it. Srsly.)
It's the sort of thing I would test out, except that it's thirty dollars and it might disfigure my genitals. Fortunately, there's always someone on the Internet willing to disfigure themselves for you! Yep, this person went and tested it.
Things were okay for a few seconds, and then…THE BURNING! I have certainly felt worse, but it was very noticeable. The instructions assure me that this burning is “due to the ingredients reacting to your bodies own PH balance which is normal and will go away upon rinsing off the colorant.”
Uh oh. She also posts pictures (of her arm, but she did test it on her crotch and reports no change there either) of the incredibly miniscule change in color. If anything you're going to get a blotchy vagina. The guys sure go for blotchy.
And then there's this disturbing suspicion, given the thirty-dollar price tag:
I had a hunch after the way it smelled and how it looked when wet, so I licked my arm before I rinsed it, and it tasted just like unsweetened Kool-Aid.
Now I'm actually kinda curious about the interactions between Kool-Aid and crotch. I've never felt my labia were disfiguringly unpink, but sugar-free Kool-Aid comes in purple! And green! And blue! I could have a CROTCH RAINBOW!
(taste the rainbow?)
If I don't mind the whole burning sensation, I guess.
I have to say, bright bright pink would be offputting enough (what am I, a chimpanzee?) but if I make it below the beltline and I'm about to start diving in and I come across green labia, I think I'm stopping. "Darlin', maybe we ought to skip this in favor of a visit to the ER."
ReplyDeleteColors can be fun. A few Decembers ago, I took some markers & colored my left testicle red & my right green (red to port, green to starboard). When my wife got home I dropped my pants & started singing "Christmas Balls." She laughed so hard she fell on her ass.
ReplyDeleteI'd swear you posted something similar to this before a ways ago. Though I could be losing my sanity.
ReplyDeleteTennessee Budd - That's awesome. And kinda scary.
ReplyDeleteRaspberrySurprise - I'm absolutely positive I never posted about labia dye before. I'd remember something like that.
Too bad it's so expensive. It would make an amazing gag gift.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's a good thing I've watched so little porn- I'm unaware of what labia are "supposed" to look like so can't get worried about my own. :)
ReplyDelete