Goofus hears that kink has to do with sex, sees a bunch of pictures of sexy ladies in tight black things, and decides this is for him.
Gallant explores his own sexual desires and fantasies and finds that they involve BDSM or other fetishes, and decides this is for him.
Goofus joins FetLife and is frustrated that there's no search function for 18-22-year-old submissive females in his area. He has to seek them out and send wordless friend requests manually!
Gallant joins FetLife to read the event listings and discussion groups for his area, and to give kinky people a way to contact him. He friends people he meets in real life and people he's had interesting discussions with, whether they're sexual prospects or not.
Goofus doesn't want to go to a munch, because he'll be seen out in public with a bunch of freaks who are into whips and chains. Besides, if you can't play there, what's the point?
Gallant makes a point of attending his local munch, because it's a great way to meet people and make connections, and it's fun and sociable.
Goofus approaches potential partners with heavy-breathing nervousness, presumptive role-playing, or overwrought Game.
Gallant approaches potential partners as friends.
Goofus doesn't like having a bunch of weirdo freaks around.
Gallant may not be attracted to every gender, age, body type, and fetish of his co-kinksters, but he appreciates the diversity.
Goofus thinks negotiation takes all the spontaneity out of play, and anyway, isn't the Dom supposed to be making the rules here? Besides, he's not quite sure what he wants. You know, kinky shit.
Gallant insists on clear and levelheaded negotiation of both partner's boundaries before play, inquiring as to his partner's physical and emotional limits as well as their desires, and sharing his own.
Goofus decides on his first day that he wants to be a 24/7 live-in slave with no safeword, and everything else is just leading up to that.
Gallant starts slow and is sensitive to the possibility that his desires will change with time and experience.
Goofus touches people and their possessions as he wishes--after all, he's only being friendly and curious, he's not hurting anything.
Gallant says "may I hug you?" and "can I see that flogger?" every time it's even slightly questionable.
Goofus takes pictures at events, posts the location of the local dungeon on Facebook, and says "hey, I saw Joe at the munch" to Joe's friends.
Gallant makes sure what happens in Kinkland stays in Kinkland.
Goofus thinks munches are meat markets where people talk about kinky sex until they find someone to have kinky sex with.
Gallant thinks munches are social events where people talk about anything and everything and occasionally meet future partners, but doesn't expect anything beyond socialization.
Goofus has toys that look cool.
Gallant has toys he knows how to use.
Goofus has a lot of ideas about what "real" Doms and subs do, and if a Dom likes to suck cock or a sub doesn't like pain, he's baffled or even offended.
Gallant knows people like what they like, call themselves what they call themselves, and if everyone's having fun more power to them.
Goofus thinks subs really are lesser than Doms and genuinely doesn't respect them.
Gallant thinks at the end of the day we're all people, and people who choose to serve people, well, ditto.
Goofus gets a lot of ideas from porn.
Gallant gets a lot of ideas from talking to and watching more experienced kinksters.
Goofus doesn't want to be seen in public with his kink partners, and takes pride in dating a "normal" outside partner.
Gallant treats his kink partners the same as any others, be they one-night-stands or serious commitments, and takes pride in dating someone he has a great connection with.
Goofus thinks of kink as separate from his life, something he can stuff into a shameful little box that he only opens when he has a boner. He'd never dream of doing anything but kink with his kink friends, and he doesn't think of kink as a part of him--he's not some pervert, he just does this stuff for fun sometimes.
Gallant thinks of kink as a part of his life, sometimes a private part, but nonetheless one of the things that make him who he is. He is kinky, and doesn't define himself by it, but he accepts it.
(The "format" posts will stop when my fever goes under 102. I just don't have a lot of essays in me, man.)