Saturday, November 6, 2010

Unexpected Poly Challenges.

There are many complications to being in a relationship that involves two other people. And I don't mean the big ones like time management or societal acceptance or emotional issues. I mean the silly little stuff. Things like:

-Blanket wars become epic.

-Only the back seat on the bus can fit three across. (And it smells funny.)

-You have to cc all your emails.

-English has no second-person-plural pronoun. "Aw, I love spending time with... y'all. Youse. You guys."

-Anything less than a king-size bed and you're going to have someone's elbow up your nose all night.

-"I already told this story to you, but she hasn't heard it, so I'm gonna go from the beginning..."

-Three-way kisses seem like they would be adorable, but there's just too many noses.

-Hotels won't give you a room with one bed unless someone hides during check-in.

-Someone has to ride in the back seat of the car.

-Snoring... in stereo.

-"Psst... look, I don't really know you, but I feel like you should know, your boyfriend was here with another woman yesterday."

-My phone doesn't do conference calls.

-"Whose leg am I touching?"

-No one ever suggests that monogamy is only a valid lifestyle if every monogamous relationship is totally equitable and trouble-free.



These were just the first few that came to mind, and I'm relatively new to this particular kind of poly relationship. I'm sure there will be many more. And I'm sure the Unexpected Poly Joys will continue to far outweigh them.



P.S.: Today Rowdy and I were kinda tired and got in bed to "just cuddle and maybe see where it goes," and within fifteen minutes or so he had five fingers up to the knuckles in me. My life is awesome.

Also awesome, by the way: putting one finger in my vagina now, only a couple hours later, and feeling myself close tightly around it. Vaginas are so cool.

29 comments:

  1. You have to cc all your emails.

    Eh, we have a family mailing list. ;)

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  2. "Too Many Noses" needs to be a band name or something. The members should all be in a loving poly relationship with one another, obviously. This is my dream.

    Also, I'm so scared of fisting. Please write about it, yes.

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  3. Another issue: I can't easily sing about the three of you sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, because your collective names have too many syllables.

    :(

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  4. Well, what do you expect, defying God's law like that? All those blanket wars and grammatical problems and happiness are your just reward for the decadence of your sinful lifestyle. Why, next thing you know you'll be having orgasms instead of lying back and thinking of England, and choosing your own sexual partners! What is this world coming to?

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  5. I have to admit, the noses thing completely baffles me--I don't even know how a kiss involving more than two people would work, logistically speaking.

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  6. I consider myself a tolerant person, but if your lifestyle leads to the use of plural possessive abominations such as "you guys's" or even "your guys's," don't expect me to defend it. That's disgusting.

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  7. I agree, disgusting grammar! Simply awful! [Where I live, y'all is very important... :( It makes me sad in the pants.] Glad you're having a good time, Holly ;) I imagine it does present a challenge sometime, but it's worth it.

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  8. Sometime I think people forget that vaginas are made of muscle, and muscles stretches, BOTH BIGGER AND SMALLER.

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  9. I laughed out loud at your polyamory struggles.

    And I have to agree with ozymandias. How terribly awful it must be to have to live with such "just reward for the decadence of your sinful lifestyle".

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  10. Holly - May I suggest "You"? :) It can function as both a singular and a plural!

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  11. A knuckle inside your vagina... damn! You're partner must be a lucky son of a bith!

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  12. I've had at least a few three-way kisses, and mysteriously, noses were never a problem. Maybe we all have long lips, or... no, that doesn't make sense. Maybe we're leading with our chins? I can't figure it out.

    That's one more reason to see if that couple wants to play together again. As long as they don't mind me being distracted during the kisses. I will warn them first that makeouts may be monitored for quality assurance

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  13. Old English provides you with the second person pronoun 'gē'(said 'yay'). This might help you with linguistic clarity as well as making you look awesome to language historians.

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  14. There's nothing all that wrong with you "you all" or "you both." I don't even have a problem with y'all, particularly if you're from the banjo-centric regions of the United States.

    It has always seemed to me that the romance languages (well, at least Spanish) have "you-all" forms of all their verbs and nobody calls them hillbillies for it.

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  15. Don: German too, has "ihr", which is roughly "y'all".

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  16. @perversecowgirl
    "Holly, Sprite & Rowdy sittin' in a tree.."
    Might be a bit quick at the beginning but it still works
    :)

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  17. You was the English second plural pronoun, while thou/thee were the singular ones. Over time the use of thou and thee was replaced by you, so that now you is used for both singular and plural.

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  18. "Whose leg am I touching?"

    "Not mine."

    "Not mine."

    "What the... Hey, I can't feel my *own* legs!"

    "Whops, sorry."

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  19. Actually anon (2 up I believe), from what I know "you" was instead the formal form, and "thou" was the informal form. So not a plurality difference, but between talking to someone you were familiar with vs. not familiar. Thus why "thou" is used in hymns directed at god, the belief being that there could be no relationship more familiar than that of oneself to one's creator/god/etc.

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  20. DeviantE-- Language evolving. Originally thou was the singular, then you became the formal singular and thou the informal singular, than you became all the singular.

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  21. All these 2nd person plural posts, & no mention of the Irish "yez"? Well, it's another option to consider.

    Ozymandias, that sounds correct... "you" was for plural and formal uses, like "vous" is in modern French.

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  22. -Blanket wars become epic.

    In my experience, personal blankets are absolutely essential to poly domestic tranquility. ;)

    (Also, I'm a big proponent of "y'all". Fills a need, don'chyaknow.)

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  23. But how do you talk about the people in the relationship? Couple implies two people. Are you a triple? A few? A friend of mine is in a poly relationship, and I am never sure how to refer to her + her partners.

    For them marriage equality issues are a problem, but I guess you guys aren't there yet.

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  24. All of my relationships are couple relationships. I just have more than one of them. ;)

    My family is my family.

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  25. "Snoring...in stereo" LOL That totally made me start following this blog.

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  26. "Psst... look, I don't really know you, but I feel like you should know, your boyfriend was here with another woman yesterday."

    Yeeep. Our neighbor isn't talking to my partner and we suspect it's because he's been seen making out with my best friend.. who is also my boyfriend's girlfriend!

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  27. Getting the "Lovers anniversary package" deal at a hotel can be strange when you request 4 glasses in the suite and 4 massages and want the desserts for 4 etc... They really don't wan't to give in on such things.
    They will though if you complain enough.

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  28. I like this post great work indeed well don keep posting.
    King size Beds

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  29. Ok, important life lesson learned from drunken quasi-lesbian sorority babes: Clover Leaf Kisses. All three people turn the same direction and go in. It works.
    Rob

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