Saturday, May 9, 2009

Can gay be hot?

Date tonight. Whoo. This one seems rather less losery and more my "type" (blond, square, geeky, kinky, funny) than most of the dates I've had recently, so I have my hopes up. By "hopes up" I mean "condoms in the cargo pocket." Although I usually do. Knife, phone, flashlight, mobile Internet gadget, mace, condoms, I go around Prepared these days, and my pants are pretty close to falling down. Which is the plan anyway, really.


I know a lot of straight women are into gay porn, and the affinity of straight men for naked lesbians (or "lesbians") is legend. But I always feel a little weird about being turned on by gay men. Not that the sight's unappealing--god no--but it seems wrong somehow, intrusive even when they're willing performers, to be getting off on someone who wouldn't get off on me. I feel like a voyeur, like I'm nosing in on something that's none of my business.

Maybe this is just my own crazy neurosis, but I'm curious if anyone else feels this way. (I realize plenty of straight male porn stars and actors wouldn't be interested in me either, and to be honest, sometimes that bothers me too. Not that I think they should, just that I feel weird ogling someone who wouldn't want to look back.) Watching gay sex turns me on, but feeling like a gatecrasher to the boys-only party is awkward.

This is one of the reasons why bisexual men are so utterly hot as fuck.


  1. Good luck!

    Bruno has a date tomorrow, but has much lower expectations of nakey.

  2. I once heard the theory that the reason women tend to like gay porn and men tend to like lesbian porn is because there's no member of their sex for them to compare themselves to. Personally, I don't buy it-- it's probably true for some people, but the reason I dislike straight porn isn't because I identify too strongly with the faking plastic-titted bitch with cocks stuck in her ears.

    I like gay porn because I like men, and I get to look at two usually very pretty men doing very hot things to each other and enjoying it. I like lesbian porn because I like women and I love sex with women, so watching it is a turn-on for me. Things like this make me grateful to be bisexual.

  3. I know exactly what you mean. Although that's kind of why I feel a little weird about porn in general.

  4. If you could only get off on watching pornography featuring actors who would be interested in you sexually . . . . there would be a lot more actual work getting done on the internets.

  5. I totally know what you mean, Holly. Which is why I'm more comfortable with "lesbian" porn than actual, you know, *lesbian porn.*

    I think what makes two opposite-sex people hot isn't so much the homophobia part (weird to think one can feel uncomfortable looking at the your-sex partner in a hetero scene anyway, even though it happens) but because if there are two people of your preferred sex then you have twice as many opportunities to identify with what's happening. (You could be the one doing what the one on the left is doing to the one on the right, or vice versa.)

    And answering Don Gwinn and Strings, it's funny, I know, but yes, it's easier to suspend disbelief part-way (knowing they like men even if they wouldn't necessarily want me) vs. suspending it further (knowing they wouldn't be into men at all.)

    Cool post, Holly.


  6. I don't enjoy most porn, and it's for two reasons really: (1) I'm not attracted to the fake plastic people (the men often seem just as manufactured as the women to me - too much time in a gym, not enough time in a library) you find most often in porn AND, this is a big one (2) the porn stars so VERY RARELY ever look like they are enjoying themselves!

    I just can't get off watching people that look like they are having a boring old time going through the motions.

    I like what little gay porn I've been becuase the stars actually look like they are genuinely enjoying themselves!

    I try not to think about the whole "they would never want me" part, because really, NO porn star type would want me; male, female, gay, straight, they just wouldn't. Also, if you are in porn, there IS the expectation people will watch it, it's not like I'm staring in someone's bedroom window while jerking off! Now *that* would be creepy.

  7. That's a big chunk of why I don't really like porn in general. Other people's sex lives = none of my business; people who aren't interested in me = not there for my sexual gratification.