I took down an excessively grouchy post. Sometimes I fall into the trap of going "ugh, men" when what I really mean is "ugh, assholes." Since I'm a straight woman, most of the assholes I deal with in the sex and dating arenas are men, but there are plenty of nonassholish men and assholish women out there, and I don't want to imply otherwise. I don't want to be an assholish woman myself.
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Elsie has written yet another story based loosely on my sexual fantasies. Which is very weird for me, but very cool.
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To a weird degree, I find that serving others' kinks is, for me, a kink in itself. The archetypal example is foot fetishism. It does, really, nothing for me. Feets is feets, and might as well be elbows or nostrils for all I care. But when a guy is into feet--that does something for me. The nothing-in-particular I feel having my toes sucked turns into an oh holy God YES when I see what it does to him. I don't want my toes sucked, but I want my toes sucked by a foot fetishist.
Mmm, yeah. I did the kinky checklist a while back and had a few serious turns-ons and a few serious turn-offs, but the majority of my answers were neutral. There are a lot of things I could get all the way into if my partner was super into it, because what I'm most into is a passionately aroused man.
ReplyDeleteIn my relationships, I always desperately wished my partner had some kinks which I wasn't into myself, just so I could serve them. I want the chance to give in the relationship, and if I'm already into everything she wants I don't have that chance the same way.
ReplyDeleteYep. Giving pleasure is pleasure for me. And it's perhaps a little bit about power as well - "Awesome! I made him come!".
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you so much for linking to Elsie - I got hooked on the previous stories and promptly demolished her archives.
I wish you hadn't deleted that post. Writing something similar to your first paragraph here would have been fine--there's not an overabundance of that sentiment on this blog, so you don't have to worry about coming across as a militant crazy.
ReplyDeleteWas there really so little truth to that post that even one of its sort, stacked against all the "I'm not sure I believe in rape culture" posts in this blog, is still too much?
I don't get why you felt you had to get some kind of compliance from them rather than just hit "Close Window" then "Ignore/Block." Continuing to throw stuff out in hope that something sticks when the other person has the option of ending your communication with a click doesn't seem to be "Rape Culture" the same way physically holding someone in place to make him/her stay and listen to your pitch is, but I can see why the analogy is appealing.
ReplyDeleteEurosabra - It wasn't "compliance." It was leaving me alone. That's not exactly doing Lord Queen Goddess Holly's bidding.
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