Thursday, April 1, 2010

Coming Clean.

I guess this is as good a time as any to say it. I am not Holly Pervocracy. She's a character I made up. I'm a man. My real name is Chris, I'm 31 years old, and this has gotten way out of hand.

Way back in 2007, I got the idea to write an erotica blog. I looked around at what was out there, and found that the ones written by women were a lot more popular and well-regarded. Writing about sex as a man, I feared I would have come off as just a creepy horndog; but a woman who's loudly and lustily perverted, everyone wants to see that. Besides, creating a character gave me a level of safety--both on a practical level, by preserving my anonymity, and emotionally, by giving me the freedom to tell myself "it's not me saying this, it's just Holly."

Holly changed as my interests did; she started out as a relatively one-note porn character, but as I burned off the initial steam I delved into more genres, weaving relationship dramas in her little world, using her to explore BDSM and fetishes, and more recently using her as my political and philosophical mouthpiece.

I don't know if I can say "the character took on a life of her own," because in many ways, she took on my life. The more details I added about her mundane life, the more I borrowed from my own. I really did work as an EMT when I was younger; I really did just move across the country and visit Germany. Hell, most of the time Holly got laid was when I was getting laid.

More insidiously, Holly changed my life. Because of her, I found myself in situations I'd never have gotten into on my own--at a BDSM party, or talking a friend into sending me naked pictures to use as "Holly", or using a goddamn epilator on my junk. Being Holly expanded my horizons, it got me laid, and it got me to try just about everything short of tampons.

It's funny, but I don't feel nearly as comfortable talking about my own sex life when it's real. I suppose now that I've outed myself I'll do that from time to time. For now, I'll just say that I'm bisexual, I mostly date women, and I'm not seeing anyone right now.

I'll keep the blog going and I think I'll keep Holly around. I've gotten used to talking through her, and frankly, I kinda got to like her. But I had to get this off my chest. I'm sorry if anyone was hurt by this deception; I really love and appreciate my my readers even when I'm having Holly chew them out, and I hope you'll stick around.

Even if I am only a man.

23 comments:

  1. I read this and was thinking "Yeah, whatever" even before I noticed the date. You Tricky McTrickster.

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  3. As April Fools' goes, I have a feeling this one is going to catch more than it chuckles...

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  4. Things didn't quite add up, but it about 75% caught me. Then again, it isn't April 1st yet in my time zone.

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  5. I knew it all along--no woman could really think or feel all those things you wrote about because they expressed human thoughts and feelings, and women aren't wired that way...they're different from everyone else.





    Now, in the interest of not getting flamed into oblivion and/or looking like a d-bag, I'll put right here in writing that everything I said above was total sarcasm and I thought this was awesome! You had me for like two seconds.

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  6. In Arizona, it's still 10 minutes before midnight, so I didn't get it. :-)

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  7. Love the dual purpose Twisty bashing and prankstering.

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  8. Ha ha. Happy April Fools Holly.

    Now show me your tits...or your smooth coochie :p

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  9. You had me for about 3 seconds. Good one.

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  10. You posted this too early and almost got me when it showed up in my RSS before bed!

    Happy April Fool's to you too then.
    God I hate this day so much.

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  11. Brought a smile to my face. Might have caught me if I didn't know about the original :-)

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  12. But... ure to complicated to be teh manz!
    ;)

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  13. Hahaha, well done. What caught me up is that it felt like the writing style was substantially different from your other posts, which added to the "wait, could this be serious?" factor.

    Then I had a few sips of coffee and noticed today's date.

    Well played.

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  14. Wait, then who the hell did I have sex with?!

    Hahahaha, good one. I was a little thrown reading this at 3 am after my shift, but it made me laugh, and again today when I woke up.

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  15. I knew all along. It was obvious, y'see, because you like sex. And as we all know, women don't like sex; they just _allow_ men to have it inexchange for security and jewelry.

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  16. Umm, yeah. Considering that I was practically deluged with april fools crap starting around 9pm last night in my timezone, I wasn't about to believe anything like this. Especially with your semi-obvious Twisty parody here - and I haven't ever read that blog!

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  17. LOL, Holly has a pretty nice body for a woman who doesn't exist!

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  18. My fiance started to say something, & I pointed out the date.
    And, um, Chris? Nice tits. Want to get together? I just today discovered that I'm trisexual.

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  19. Bwahaha! Posting first comment ever, just for props. You had me for about 9 seconds- but they were 9 REALLY good seconds.

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  20. Nice one. Always wondered about the gay ambulance porn, but it was a pretty good April Fool's joke.

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  21. It was actually more of a James Chartrand joke than a Twisty joke.

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